I'll say stuff about Trash 

Maybe I'll do some mini-reviews this month...

Trash Challenge VI: If He Can't Take A Joke, He Stinks!



I hope everybody's in the mood because it's happening again! Trash month is almost here. And for the sixth year in a row, we will explore the offbeat, the obscure, the unrealistically gory, and hopefully something nice and traumatizing to dream about during nappy time. So, join me... or don't. You can go trim your ass hairs with some garden shears for all I care. I'm watching some trash!


As always, it'll be one point for every trashy quality below. It doesn't have to be a significant amount of anything. As long as it exists.


Nudity

Gore

Rape

Hardcore Penetration

Incest

Drug Use

Cannibalism

Intentionally Bad Qualities

Video Nasties - Any movie to ever appear on this list.

SOV - Anything shot-on-video from the 80's and 90's, or beyond, if you know of anything.

Beastiality

Necrophilia

Racism - One point for racist characters, or any type of blatant racism expressed.

Retards - Any characters who appears to be mentally handicapped is good for a point.

Garbage Point - One point earned if you genuinely hate the movie and have a difficult time making it through.

FTV (First Time Viewing)

Pleasure Point - One point earned for each orgasm you provide for yourself whilst viewing a trash epic.


And then, there's the Trifectas. Instead of using directors and series, the Trash Challenge trifectas are all about the old Exploitation sub genres.

Sexploitation, Blaxploitation, Drugsploitation, Hixploitation, Hippiesploitation, Nazisploitation, Bikersploitation, Canuxploitation, Ozploitation, Nunsploitation, Bruceploitation, Fowlsploitation, Rape/Revenge, Lezbo-Vamp, Women In Prison, Jungle Cannibal Epics, Mondo/Shockumentaries, Nudie Cuties/Nudist Camp bullshit, Giallos, Throwbacks


3 in a row from any of the above sploitations will count as a trifecta.

A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

Single Trifecta - 5 points

Double Trifecta - 7 points

Triple Trifecta - 9 points

Etc.

Films must run no less than 40 minutes to count.

This challenge will be for the month of March.

Good fucking luck!



I https://trashepics.com/post/9/105/
II https://trashepics.com/post/9/186/
III https://trashepics.com/post/9/229/
IV https://trashepics.com/post/9/236/
V https://trashepics.com/post/9/247/

It's possible to make a good dirty movie

That's the mantra of Ti West's 'X', his 1979 rural Texas grindhouse throwback. It's a well crafted horror flick about dirty subject matter, which is sort of a commentary about the line between art and smut. I'll be vague with the story recap, but my plot description is as follows:

An amateur porn film crew is terrorized by the sex lives of old people.

It's also a bit like Tobe Hooper's Eaten Alive. And regarding the old people, that's why this movie is gross. Old people are a gross, tragic bunch in this flick, and they're also a combination of senile, stubborn, and devious. Especially when they're in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre type of environment.

Jenna Ortega is so cute. She's on her way to being a scream queen, but we wont get to see her naked. Mia Goth goes topless instead, and she's our lead. Maybe that's an homage to Tobe Hooper's Funhouse, in which the leading lady in that one also provided nudity. Brittany Snow is also pretty chill about baring flesh. This movie has its fair share of nudity, but not all of it is good nudity, FYI.

Not really a spoiler: The prequel's teaser is the post-credits scene, set about 60 years before this movie. I suppose Ti West wanted to make good use of his setting, because it's ideal for an isolated horror show, which is X-actly what X is there to give you.

#Review

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood: The Novel

So, two years after the fact, Tarantino decided to turn his latest movie into a novel.

It's definitely an interesting read for fans of the movie. It tells the same story, but from somewhat of a different perspective. There are things in the book that are not in the movie, and things from the movie not in the book. And some things are told in a different order. It's pretty decent, I would definitely recommend it for Tarantino heads.

But there are many moments in the book that just go off on long tangents giving history lessons about different directors and movies. Things that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot, just Tarantino nerding out for no reason, as he is one to do. Should have expected that.

Describe a movie's plot in a unique way.

I've been updating some movie info on the database over the last few weeks and one of the things was plot descriptions. Most of them were scraped from imdb's pages, but they can be too vauge or too long-winded. There's an art to movie descriptions. Think of them like on the back of a VHS cover. It has to be somewhat precise in order to fit between the pictures. It also needs to make the movie sound as awesome as possible.

Think of a movie you really like. How would you (spoiler-free) describe the plot to make it sound as interesting as possible? As trashy as possible?

Anything anybody posts will be the official TE description of the movie, because the imdb plots need to GO.



Quick example, as I'm watching one of my favorites right now, Poolboy. I'd describe the plot as such:

After the war, a racist Vietnam vet returns to Los Angeles to reclaim the pool cleaning business that has been monopolized by evil Mexicans.

Not too long, not too short. Buzz words. Pieces laid out.

I buried my pet chicken today

Yeah, that's right. I had a pet chicken. She wandered into my backyard one day and my whole family fell in love with her. Most people would probably think of chickens as stupid, but this hen was something else. She liked to hang out with humans, she let you pet her and pick her up, she came when you called her, she ate all the bugs in the backyard, and she gave us some delicious eggs to eat.

It was only 24 hours ago that I took her bug hunting in the backyard, but shortly after that, my dumb ass decided to take a daytime nap so I'd be prepared for the night shift, and that's when an animal wandered into my backyard and ripped her apart. I never thought I'd be so sad about a damn chicken, but she was fucking cool as hell. Rest in peace, Lucy.

The Batman Review

It's a wise choice to separate Batman from the rest of DC's shitty characters. The Snyder movies suck and Ben Affleck is a joke, proving that Batman works better as a standalone character. The most interesting part of Batman is that he isn't a superhero. He's simply very good at what he does, so there's no need to bog him down with magic and mysticism. He's an armored vigilante detective, and that's what this movie is all about.

From early on, I knew this movie was the type of Batman movie I wanted. Sure, the Nolan movies were great, but their version of Gotham is still pretty clean and sterile compared to the world Reeves creates. Nolan was said to have been inspired visually by Blade Runner, and while there's definitely a lot more evident Blade Runner aesthetic in Reeves' movie, I think it's safe to say he had an arguably stronger influence from Alex Proyas's The Crow. Gotham City nights are rainy, drenched in a black and orange Halloween palette.

The film begins on Halloween and lingers for a few days into November. Batman has established himself as a brooding force to be reckoned with, while Bruce Wayne is a recluse who has no time for his family business. None of the other movies tackled the idea of him being a detective, and that's who he always has been, first and foremost. Hell, he does hail from Detective Comics. He's never been so much of a detective as he was someone who conveniently cracked a vital clue on a whim. The Batman is a street-level crime noir about a Zodiac-inspired madman holding a city secret hostage while crime families get implicated. Batman gets into it with them, and a story unfolds.

It's the tone that really makes it. The film shows the underbelly of Gotham like we've never seen before. It's somber, hopeless, creepy, artsy, guerilla, and grunge at the same time. The casting proves flawless, and somehow, this movie does the unthinkable. It has a memorable score! Holy shit, Hollywood! Take a cue!

There are certain aspects of Batman mythology that are omitted. I wont point them out, but you'll notice their absence, but it wont bother you. You wont miss those aspects that can convolute the plot, because the pacing keeps you on track. It doesn't feel like 3 hours. I was waiting for a whole next act, which must mean that I didn't quite realize that I was at the end of the movie as it was ending, but maybe that's a good thing? Maybe it means Hollywood is starting to get experimental again? Maybe it means I'm dumb as shit?

One thing is for sure. This movie is an experience. There was a lot of hype over the last few years. I think people were willing to give Pattinson the benefit of the doubt, and even I wasn't sure about him once I saw the costume, but I began to love the design as I saw it in action.

Nolan's effort was a game-changer, undeniably. Once that comic-movie barrier was broken and these movies realized they could be more cinematic and less kiddie-centric, comic movies could be trusted to make both a high box office and favorable reviews. I don't think kids would understand this movie. They make toys and action figures for this demographic who probably wont stay awake throughout the whole thing, but this movie isn't made for them at all. The crew said it was pushing PG-13 to the limits, but we'd probably never notice what those limits are on account of the shit we watch. It never felt pussified though. I'm not sure an R-rated cut would have had much more of an impact than the version we got, but I certainly wouldn't oppose one. DC actually makes movies for adults, in case you've forgotten. If it's a Batman spin-off, they'll risk an R-rating, but I'm not sure we'll ever see live-action Batman himself in something greater than PG-13 because they want those youngins in the seats.

Way to go, WB. You've reinvented the same character for the dozenth time, and you STILL have my interest. Sequel? Yes please. Penguin show ordered on HBO MAX? Yes please. Collin Farrell is clearly inspired by De Palma and Scorsese crime figures, which is a great thing. Riddler was a total creep with a good twist, and Catwoman was sexy again. Anne Hathaway was completely unmemorable, so Zoe finally channeled the amazing Pfeiffer performance that everyone since has been ignoring. Alfred's there too, but he doesn't have much time to shine. Finally, the last notable character is Jeffrey Wright's Jim Gordon, who's basically as perfect of a fit for the character as Gary Oldman.

Subsequent viewings may easily confirm the idea that this movie will beat out the Nolan movies. It's Batman as he needs to be, without the Bruce Wayne subplots bogging him down. It looks like Chicago, but feels like a dream. The city really takes on a life of its own, and it's these vibes that make The Batman a great way to kill 3 hours.

#Review

2022 Documentary Challenge

So as suggested by Box, we're going to do a mini challenge for February. For those in the mood for a spot of learning for the rest of the month, make your spot below.

1 point for every minute watched of any documentary (minimum duration of 30 minutes).

Add 10 points for a documentary about a dark subject matter.

Add 20 points for a documentary about the horror genre or a specific horror movie.

Add 30 points for any documentary on Black History. You can also include documentaries on black/African-American culture, celebrities and personalities.

Get an extra 25 bonus points for a FTV.

DVD and Blu-ray commentaries and mockumentaries/pseudo-documentaries will not be allowed on this occasion.

The Documentary Challenge will begin Saturday 12th February and end on Saturday 26th.

Spontaneous (2020)

This is a horror-ish... dramedy? That's a pretty good word for it. It's about a school where the kids in the senior class keep spontaneously exploding. They just sort of pop, VERY abruptly, with no warning at all. Anyone could do it, at any moment, there is no way of knowing when it will happen. The movie never even really explains why it happens, exactly... it's mostly about how the kids deal with their knowledge of their own mortality.

Katherine Langford, who was in Knives Out, does a really good job here, I think. She's hilarious. She reminds me of a young Kate Winslet, and/or maybe a younger Erika Christensen. She plays a girl in the senior class, who has to deal with the fact that her friends keep exploding. They EXPLODE, by the way, like they are extra large trash bags full of blood, dropped from a very tall building. They don't burst into flame. The word spontaneous kept making me think of spontaneous combustion, but no one combusts. They just BURST.

I think it is clandestinely a commentary on school shootings... I THINK. I'm not totally sure. I'm pretty sure that that's at least a part of it, because they had a few lines that clearly allude to school shootings. But, there might be more than that, going on... it's a pretty clever movie, I am not confident that I can absolutely nail everything it was trying to say in this review. It could be about teen suicide, in a Heathers sort of way. I was reminded of Heathers now and then. Also, I was reminded of Jennifer's Body, and maybe even Clueless, a little... I'm just trying to say, female friendship of girls of high school age is an important part of the movie. I feel bad for my nieces, when I think about this movie... yeesh.

I feel like I should mention Warm Bodies... just the sense of humor, and one scene in particular... I won't spoil it too much.

The government hears about all the kids exploding, and steps in and pretends it has a clue about what to do. So, that's pretty funny. Eventually they (the government people) figure out a strategy that seems to work, but there's a hell of a lot of carnage before they do. The high school kids get to cop an attitude about the government people, that seemed to be the main point of having them show up, for the purposes of the movie. Oh yeah, I was reminded of the 1984 Repo Man a little, mostly just that secret agent government lady who says "People just explode. Natural causes!" If you picture her showing up in Clueless or Heathers, and saying that line, you'll have a fair idea of what to expect from the movie.

Anyways, it's a pretty respectable effort at movie-making! I hope everyone who was involved is happy about how it turned out. I don't think you would be unhappy about watching it. Check it out!

Nightbeast 1982

This Troma movie is mildly amusing. An asshole alien crashlands in redneck territory and kills everyone it comes across. A massive gunfight erupts in which several mobile rednecks fire against the stationary Nightbeast, who is blasting his ray gun recklessly and excessively in all directions. Of course, when one of his rays hits a human, the human glows bright before disintigrating, because that's the funny way to do it. So not only is this alien not moving from his spot, but his face doesn't move at all either.

Clearly, they only had enough money to sculpt a mask and some arm/hand pieces for this creature, who otherwise wears a silver space suit. They claim he wants to eat flesh, but he's a wasteful motherfucker on account of all the people he simply vaporizes instead of eats. If he isn't blasting them with his pew-pew gun, he's murdering them in violent ways, using his sharp claws to disembowel them or rip their heads off (which yields some humorously bad SFX at times).

Interspersed throughout the film are subplots, one involving some abusive asshole's desire to bang his woman if her attitude permits, otherwise beat her to death. Then we have a random "sensual" love scene between our ugly dullard sheriff and his blond fluezy deputy. She takes her top off to take a shower and clearly doesn't hide it from him, then when she gets to doing the dirty with him, she takes off her towel to reveal herself as if she didn't just do that a minute ago. She was a terrible actress.

So basically, a mostly impervious alien wanders around with no clear agenda as everybody panics and gets killed by it. Then our dreadful heroes decide at random that it can only be killed by electricity and boom. The movie's over.

#Review