Would You Rather (not the movie)

Would you rather be locked in a room for an hour with a wild grizzly bear or locked in a room for an hour with one million black widow spiders?

TV Challenge 2022

So the rules are simple as fuck. Watch as much TV as you possibly can throughout the entirety of July and get 1 point for every minute you watch of the stuff.

Can be TV shows or documentaries but we already have a doc challenge so try to stick to TV shows, eh.

Some bonus point possibilities:

If you watch an entire season of a show, in which each episode lasts over 40 minutes, you can claim 50 bonus points per episode. So if you watch a season of a show that has 10 episodes, all lasting around the hour mark, you can give yourself a whopping 500 extra points.

For shorter episodes, i.e. sitcoms or anything lasting 39 minutes or under, you will get 25 bonus points per episode. So, 250 points for a 10 episode season.

Any questions, please shout. In the shout box.

Starts this Friday 1st July at 00:00 and ends on 31st July at 23:59 hours.

Grab a spot below!

Warehouse 13

Did anybody here watch this show regularly? I remember it, and I know I saw at least a few episodes. I don't think I was really paying attention though. I probably just had it on as a distraction, while I was making sandwiches, or something along those lines.

Anyway, in the US, the SyFy channel appears to be showing some kind of Warehouse 13 marathon this weekend.

So anyway, Joanne Kelly is amazing!! I'm probably just noticing this because she's such a babe, but, she seriously kicks ass. Literally! She beats the living crap out of characters who give her character shit. I wasn't expecting it, so the first time it caught me off guard. And now I see that, at least in the first few episodes, it appears to be a consistent theme, that she is a street fighter to be reckoned with. I can't decide if it's supposed to be funny or awesome... possibly both. I'm just gonna stick with awqesome. It's amazing to watch.

Another strong point of this show: it seems to be loosely based on the old Canadian show Friday the Thirteenth, that they used to show in the US on the USA network, I think. That makes a lot of sense, ha ha. Anyway, it shares with that show the idea of a couple of people who have to go semi-undercover on missions to retrieve items with some kind of super-powers, usually supernatural powers, although I think there is more of a science fiction element to Warehouse 13.... Also, both shows have a non-romantic couple, a male and a female agent working together, who have chemistry but not a relationship, at least in the first season. I think the old show Friday the Thirteenth introduced a third agent at some point, and things might have gotten romantic between the woman and one of them... I'd have to double check on that. Anyway, whatever, the value of not having things get romantic is that it keep things light in that way, and fun, and... I don't know, it makes me think of Beverly Hills Cop, with the relationship between Axel Foley and Jenny "Hairdo" Summers. They never got romantic,and watching them was like watching your male and female friends from your childhood neighborhood group of friends hanging out, and goofing around. It just makes the whole show more fun somehow.

Anyway, great show, I recommend the living daylights out of it, and it's on SyFy right now, as I'm typing this.

future TV shows mentioned in the Running Man (1987)

Yikes. This blogger makes the point that several of them are basically already here. https://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/the-running-man-tv-how-dystopian-ics-programming-compares-to-whats-on-now/

Private Resort

Fresh off of the first Nightmare movie, Johnny Depp found himself next in the midst of a buddy sex comedy at private resort, ripe for all sorts of unjustified shennanigans. I find it amusing that there is no prologue as to why they are at the resort, nor is there an epilogue of what happens when they leave. The story exists solely in the Private Resort.



Ben (Rob Morrow) and Jack (Johnny Depp) play our swindlers^protagonists. All they want to do is get laid, and they're not above lying about their identities and drugging girls to get it. Through misunderstandings and contrived circumstances, Ben and Jack find themselves in various predicaments that have them narrowly missing out on sexual escapades as they flee from murderous guests and inept management.

Seriously, all the manager wants to do is keep his resort respectable, but as soon as these two show up, sexual hijinks galore. The "villains" are repeatedly humiliated by our duo's tenure as the "heroes" of this eccentric 80s rom-com. He's a square for trying to do his job, and the other guy is the asshole for wanting revenge against the guys who shaved his head and tried to bang his wife? Our villains are entirely sympathetic. Or rather, they would be, if this was a real-world situation. But no, this is a private resort, baby. Anything goes apparently.

This movie glorifies bikinis, and that's always a wonderful thing. But this movie also delivers the boobies. Hell, the first of many subplots has Johnny Depp trying to bone Leslie Easterbrook (fresh off of Police Academy), and she's always been known for hers.

Jack and Ben run amok of the place. Making enemies at every corner, they never seem to get laid, and they have a blast (not) doing it. If you've seen an 80s movie before, you can figure out how this one ends, but it's all about the ride^girls.

Objectifying women is bad.^{This movie had some hot sluts in it.}


Want to see her take off her clothes?
What? "Not really?"
Yeah... I know what you mean. She looks weird.
She's a weirdo character, but come on.

https://junkepics.com/post/dump-file.php?file=file/1/image/private_resort_unclothed.jpg

#Review

Pizza

I eat a lot of pizza. Sometimes, I think the pizza is eating me. After work, I always check for pizza on clearance. I recently discovered Detroit style pizza and it's fucking good eh. And breakfast pizza is my SHIT. But I'll eat any pizza, so the more toppings, the better. Supreme is good because it tricks the pizza into being a bit more healthy since it has veggies.

Are you a ninja turtle like I am? What's your favorite pizza type/place?

Crime Challenge 2022

https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/60cf295e0062cf15c4901f7280d6c98233353df7/0_10_2293_1375/master/2293.jpg?width=465&quality=45&auto=format&fit=max&dpr=2&s=3ba066208d3b7fb20b17db44c099da7f

Welcome to the 2022 Crime Challenge. It's been 3 years since the last one so it's about time we got our hands dirty.

You can watch any movie or TV show involving crime. If in doubt, please use IMDb or any other major movie database to check if a movie is tagged with "crime". However, certain superhero or slasher movies will be allowed but crime must be an integral part of the plot i.e. if it's a slasher then the police investigation must be a major feature of the movie (e.g. giallo), not just a masked killer going around butchering people. Documentaries are also allowed.

You get one point per minute watched.

This challenge runs from 00:00 on June 1st to 23:59 on June 30th.

Please use the shoutbox for any questions, I will not be posting a separate discussion thread.

Make your spot below!

Fireworks

OK, no sane person would call fireworks a sport, but it's a spectator activity, soooo... well, whatever, just keep reading if you want to read my comment.

I am usually too scared to go out to large public gatherings these days, for various reasons you can easily guess. But, there is a hill near where I live, and from the top of the hill you can watch multiple towns having their foreworks displays, all at once, at this time of year. It's pretty cool.

This year I could see at least eight towns having their fireworks displays, all along the horizon. I'm making it sound better than it is, because trees do block some of the fireworks, and also because the fireworks appear very close to the horizon, at a distance. I think some of the towns whose fireworks I was watching are probably fifteen or twenty miles away. I still think it's pretty cool though... you can see at least some bursts of color all along the horizon, and you can even hear the booms from some of the closer displays.

I say that I could see "at least" eight towns, because in one direction I think I might have been seeing two towns, lined up, one in front of the other. It's hard to tell, at a distance.

The two closest displays, and therefore the most impressive, were Boston's Esplanade fireworks, and also the... um... well, another fairly local display, somewhere in or near Brighton, MA. (That's the same Brighton as the Michael Harvey novel called Brighton, if there are any Michael Harvey fans reading this). I'm not sure exactly which display that was, there have been a few of them scheduled in that area, and sometimes they change their schedules a little, so it's hard to figure out online what the hell I was looking at.

Anyway, I wasn't the only one up there, but luckily there weren't enough people present to attract any mass shooter maniacs. Whew. So, I didn't get shot, and I didn't get Covid, as far as I know, and I got to see a shitload of fireworks. So, all in all, a pretty fun night. Had to share.

Which cities need more stories set there?

Box, please feel free to edit my subject line if you want, so it says movies or books instead of stories, or put this post in a better category, or whatever you want... I am just rambling here, I'm not sure where to put this.

I was just thinking about this... I have probably posted this general idea here before, but not for a while, I don't think. Anyways, what US cities do you think need, deserve, or whatever, to have more films, TV shows, and/or books set there? It can be your own home city or place of birth, of course.

I can remember, when I was a kid, thinking that it sucked that everything in any movie or TV show was always taking place in New York or Los Angeles, but never where I lived (Boston area, various towns). But in this century... Jesus, there have been shitloads of Boston movies and movie stars. Some other place needs to get some attention paid to it.

Ready Player One was supposed to be somewhere in Ohio... so, OK, that's a start. The Wire was in Baltimore... Georgia (and later Virginia) had The Walking Dead... Or, I keep thinking St. Louis, Missouri is massively under-recognized. It was a really important place in the 19th century, but... well, whatever. Or even any small town or city anywhere out there that has some kind of significance that gets ignored, for whatever reason.

Does any place leap to mind for anybody, any place that just makes you say "why in the name of all that's holy is this place NEVER in the news, never a place that is presented to the world as being suitable for millions of people to daydream about?" I know, I know, that was an absolutely beautifully constructed sentence... it's a gift.

Crime challenge 2022 - results

Not for the first time and probably not for the last, Ballz has wiped the floor with everyone (well kudos to Box who also put in a stunning effort). So congrats to Ballz for managing to watch every crime movie in existence. Give or take.

1. Ballz - 7190
2. Box - 5594
3. Markus - 1770
4. zed - 901
5. Zombie - 547
6. Troma - 401