Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, and Vincent Price

What a crazy coincidence:

Christopher Lee - Born May 27, 1922 (93)
Peter Cushing - Born May 26, 1913 (would be 102)
Vincent Price - Born May 27, 1911 (would be 104)

---

Christopher Lee
Wiki https://trashepics.com/wiki/Christopher_Lee
Media: https://junkepics.com/film/?crew=christopher+lee

He's good, but he's never been in anything great. Sure, he was Hammer's Dracula, but those movies are entirely hit or miss. They tend to be better with the presence of Peter Cushing as the protagonist, because otherwise, you just get a quiet Christopher Lee popping up every half hour to feed on some horrid filler characters.

Obviously, I'm not much of a Star Wars or Lord of the Rings fan, but the guy still has a presence, and makes a movie more entertaining. Apparently, he's been in some real crap too, like Police Academy 7: Mission to Moscow, and Captain America II: Death Too Soon.

Most horror fans are probably aware that he's a metal singer. WTF?

---

Peter Cushing
Wiki: https://trashepics.com/wiki/Peter_Cushing
Media: https://junkepics.com/film/?crew=peter+cushing

He's amazing, playing the perfect Van Helsing and the perfect Dr. Frankenstein. He's as classy as horror's gonna get!

He's been known to work with Christopher Lee a lot, but I think he steals the show. That's not too hard, considering Lee played a bumbling oaf in both Curse of Frankenstein and The Mummy, but even when Lee plays Dracula, Peter Cushing always kicks his ass.

Even in a movie like Madhouse, where Vincent Price wins... Peter Cushing still wins!

---

Vincent Price
Wiki: https://trashepics.com/wiki/Vincent_Price
Media: https://junkepics.com/film/?crew=vincent+price

A legendary actor who could play the perfect hero, or the perfect villain. While the other two were known for playing in renowned monster franchises, Vincent Price got his start in one of those too, starring in The Invisible Man returns in 1940 (a role he'd return to in a cameo in Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein).

Since then, he's starred in numerous horror classics, and has become arguably the most iconic horror actor of all time. I suppose most of his charisma came from the mustache...

Now go rate some of their movies!

What are your issues?

I just looked up the difference between sociopath and psychopath, and the traits of a psycho fit me well. However, I love violence, but I don't love •being• violent, and I know myself enough to say I'm not a threat to anyone. I'm a poor man though, so I could never afford therapy or doctors to diagnose me with anything, but honestly, I think that's all bullshit anyway. If I needed a pill to make me think and feel 'normal', how would I possibly be an individual?

I've never had any physical issues in my life (save for the recurring seasonal migraines), but I know I've got some simple mental disorders, I'm quite the apathetic individual, and I'm antisocial. Nothing impressive.

What are your issues?
Are you an alcoholic? Addict? OCD? ADHD? Medicated on anything? Mental disorders? Physical disorders? Are you broken in any way?

Please, do tell.

Friday The 13th Part V: A New Beginning (1985)



Every great Horror franchise must come to and end. And for Friday The 13th, that would be part 4. "The Final Chapter" arrived in 1984. And a hell of a final chapter it was. The best of the series, some still say. This film had it all. Tits, gruesome kills, Crispin "the dead fuck" Glover. And it was actually pretty scary. But most of all, it gave us Friday The 13th fans closure. So, anyway. By 1985, The greedy dicksuckers at Paramount wanted another sequel. Preferably a resurrected Jason, or possibly a returning Corey Feldman, taking over as "the new Jason". Unfortunately, neither scenario became reality. But this movie was to happen either way. Because Paramount demanded more... of something.



The original plan for Friday The 13th Part V was to bring back the kid who killed Jason didn't exactly go as planned due to Mr. Feldman being too busy filming The Goonies at the time. But he was available for a cameo which we see in the opening scene. It's a stormy night, and for some reason, young Tommy Jarvis is hanging out in the woods. The boy watches in terror while grave robbers dig up his worst nightmare. And continues to watch as Jason Voorhees once again rises from the dead and slaughters said grave robbers. Frozen with fear, the kid watches as Jason walks towards him with his machete which some idiot buried with him. And just as Jason is about to get even with his destroyer, Tommy wakes up. But he's no longer Corey Feldman. He's not even a kid any more. But he is blonde, now. So, that's good. However, he's now semi-insane and on his way to a halfway house/semi-asylum called Pinehurst. That's bad. But good for us viewers. At Pinehurst, they got hot chicks, all with various breast sizes, a white-trash/hillbilly mother and son who ive next door, and look suspeciously close in age, a wiseass kid named Reggie the wreckless, who happens to have a big brother named Demon, who lives near by in his van with his bitch. If you ever need any enchilladas or jewelry, he's your man.

https://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fridaythe13th/images/1/13/78404-6836.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130629174102 A key member of the Pinehurst gang, an unwanted sack of fat shit named Joey, who no one seems to have much patience for, makes the mistake of offering Vic a candy bar while he was busy chopping wood. And informing him that he's out of line when Vic yells at him. The nerve of this guy! Of course Vic is going to stick that axe in his back and end his miserable life. How else is Joey going to learn some manners? It does suck that Joey's dead because more scenes involving him would have only added to the campiness that lies before us. But I guess he's better off dead. Although, somebody doesn't think so. Back to the new Tommy. This guy doesn't say much of anything. And has no desire to know any of these Pinehurst weirdos. He just wants to stand around and stare at mirrors, and have hullucinations of Jason. He seriously needs to get over that shit. I mean, he DID win, after all I guess his presence at this place is somehow supposed to make things easier. But someone is going around killing gay greasers and coke heads using some very familiar methods. Is Jason back from the dead? Is Tommy more damaged than we thought? Is someone so pissed off about Joey's murder that they're going around killing everyone except the guy who murdered him? Now, that wouldn't make much sense.

But who cares? What about that one sex scene? You know the one I'm talking about. Debi Sue Voorhees and that guy who has to go wash up after only 30 seconds of pounding her sweet vagina whilst her glorious, milky white tits bounce up and down. As hot as it was, I would have preferred this scene to go on another half hour, but Debi Sue gets her eyes cut out by some ass hole who apparently doesn't like amazing tits. so, that's the end of that. THAT being the peak of the entire Friday The 13th series. I hope it was as good for you as it was for me.



Meanwhile, back at Pinehurst. Tommy isn't doing so well. Demon got it good in the out house, the hillbilly mother & son got sent to Heaven with Demon and his bitch, Pinehurst residents are dropping like flies, and seemingly nobody else is getting laid for the rest of the movie. I sure do wish that one scene was still going on. But you can't beat this type of bloody 80's action. Especially now that there's a rainstorm going on now that shit's now gotten real. just like in Tommy's nightmare. Nice touch, I think. But again. Is it Tommy who is doing this? It's starting to seem like it.

Despite being far better than it has any right to be, this film has gained an unnecessary amount of criticism over the years, and is wrongfully considered the black sheep or just the flat out worst installment of the franchise by many, simply because a certain reoccuring character took the night off. Thanks to exploitation director, Danny Steinmann, This movie does offer something a little different, though. but not too different. All the elements which we all love about the past installments are present. But with a higher bodycount, better/funnier characters, and a sleazy B-movie atmosphere never before seen in a Friday The 13th film. The killer even wears a hockey mask. To some, A New Beginning may have been the slump of the series, and a lazy way of making a few bucks off a once thought dead franchise. But in my opinion, this is not only one of the mast entertaining 80's Slashers out there. But arguably the last great Friday The 13th film. 7/10



#Review #Slasher

To All of our New Users...

I just want to say thanks for joining this glorious garbage dump. And a special thanks to Tromafreak for getting reported a lot in order to spread the word, because the redundancy of his efforts have brought a lot more activity to this site in recent days.

This site has been shilled on imdb for a while, but due to IMDB's latest decline, more users have come here as an alternative outlet to vent and discuss their horror desires, and I truly appreciate that you all have made the effort to join. I've been working on this site for years now, but it's nothing without you guys. As the creator of Trash Epics, I want to make this a troll-free community where everyone feels welcome, and everyone can have a say in what happens here.

Also, a user on the horror board had issues with my privacy policy, claiming that he didn't feel safe joining because he feared I'd give out his personal info. This is a load of horse shit though, because no one has to give away any personal info they don't want to, and while I do have your IP and email addresses, I have no intention of exploiting that information. I trust you all to post freely and uninhibited, and hopefully, you can trust me to not fuck you over. However, if Dorian/LEP joins, I'll probably make an exception. 😄

But seriously... you guys are all doing me a favor just by using this site, and helping me make it the best piece of trash it can be, so don't be shy. Voice your opinions, and let's make it work.

Gamers

I don't know if there are anybody that plays video games on here but I thought I would share this anyways.



I never have laughed so hard.

Don't Go Into The House (1980)

So this is my first attempt at trying to write a review I hope i don't fuck it up and my you tube video can actually be viewed.

Don't go into the house is about a young man played by Dan Grimaldi as Donny Kohler who has abused as a child by his mother in some of the most sickest ways like burning his arms on the stove.
So has he starts growing up he starts having views as he was a child and we'll basically starts hating women which leads him to start killing them in some of the sickest ways.
He builds him what I would say a Huge fucked up oven.
His weapon of choice is a Flamethrower as you will see in this video.



Pretty messed up the way he kills them huh.
He kills three women that way and then puts them in a room all together and basically has a relationship with them all til there corspe come back and kill his sick ass.

There are parts in this movie where sometime I couldn't stop laughing so hard, like when we meets this women at a disco and her hair catches on fire and everybody is just dancing away staring at her like what the hell are we suppose to do about it, I tried to find a good you tube video of the disco part but the one I found wasn't worth a shit and half of it was missing so I didn't post it.

Anyways I know it not the best Video Nasty film but it's difently not the worse one to watch.
I actually really liked this movie a lot.

So I was wondering what your thoughts of the movie was.

Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead (2006)



I like Troma movies. As a teenager, I loved them. A few of them, I still do, I guess. But over the years, the Troma Team got a little old, and I eventually discovered a whole world of B-Horror outside Kaufman and Herz. And honestly, those guys rarely get a hold of anything worth a damn anymore. And that's been true since the early 2000's, with no sign of a change. Sad but true. But there's still plenty of legendary Troma productions/aquisitions that are still worth many a rewatch. The Combat Shocks, the Redneck Zombies, The Blood Sucking Freaks. Movies like that is what keeps their reputation in tact. But then, there's the films of Lloyd Kaufman. Let's talk about Lloyd Kaufman for a minute.

Most Troma movies are bad on some level. But only when watching a Lloyd Kaufman film to do I get the feeling this movie was intended for idiots. If a Jerry Lewis character from one of his shit movies from the 60's started directing his own movies, and randomly threw in vulgar humor for shock value, along with an unnecessary amount of childish bullshit, then, it might turn out something like a Lloyd Kaufman film. When he started out making movies under the Troma banner, they were all co-directed with his friend (?), the ever elusive Michael Herz. The Hebrew duo would start out making what they now refer to as "the sexy comedies". From the late 70's until the early 80's, the first real Troma movies were bestowed upon us. Squeeze Play, Waitress!, Stuck On You!, and The First Turn On. The last one mentioned is now mostly known for the film that a young Madonna auditioned for and got turned away, along with the success her participation would have brought them in the years to come. I've never seen that movie. In fact, the only Sexy Comedy I have seen is Stuck On You! And it very well may be the last. These are some awful, unfunny movies that appear to be made by retarded virgins. The change in style that was coming was a much needed one.

In 1984, The Toxic Avenger was released. A film that didn't do great at first, but brought Troma massive success. Perhaps not "Madonna success", but Toxie put those guys on the map, and regardless of how far they decline, they're still there unlike so many other independent film companies that have since fallen. After several sequels, and a cartoon called The Toxic Crusaders, the success had been fully milked, and Kaufman/Herz (and eventually just Kaufman) would go on to direct a decade of hits or misses such as Class Of Nuke 'Em High, Troma's War, and SGT. Kabukiman NYPD. All tame compared to Toxie. All obviously attempts at maintaining a semi-mainstream appeal that was already long gone. It wasn't until 1996's Tromeo And Juliet that Lloyd and Troma got their groove back and finally started putting back in the offensive, vulgar humor that got them their original fame. Lloyd's next two movies, Terror Firmer (1999), and Citizen Toxie (2000) would be proof that this formula was a success, because Lloyd ran with what he was doing and turned the volume WAY up on the shock value and intentionally bad qualities. And the same direction would be taken several years later with Poultrygeist: Night Of The Chicken Dead. Let's talk about that for a minute.

Poultrygeist could easily be seen as the ultimate Kaufman directed Troma film. And I'm sure it is by many. All the satire, gore, boobies and silliness is present and shoved right down your throat. This film is one long running joke about how shitty the fast food industry is, and corporate greed in general. It's also a musical. Our main character is Arbie. A dim-witted little pussy with a face perfect for a Troma movie. He's mad at his girlfriend Wendy for going all "liberal dyke" on him, and leaving him for a scary muff diver after promising him she'd never leave him ever. So, I guess that'd make her his ex-girlfriend. Anyway, Arbie breaks into song like a dumb ass, and then decided to get a job at the new chicken restaurant where Wendy and other liberals are outside protesting. Revenge, I guess. Personally, I would have at least tried to find someone else in order to make her jealous, but whatever works.

American Chicken Bunker hires the very much uneducated Arbie within seconds, as he gets introduced to his co-workers. A horny gay Mexican, Paco Bell, bitchy terorrist chick, Hummus, and an animal fucker by the name of Carl Jr. And let the obnoxious stereotypes run wild! Along with a song every 5 minutes, and semi-ammusing cameos by Ron Jeremy, Joe Fleishaker and the penis-monster. As we witness several run ins between Arbie and Wendy, who are still into each other, at least sexually. We also discover That American Chicken Bunker was built on top of the cursed Tromahawk Indian burial ground. That and the shitty toxic chicken everyone's been eating leads to everyone turning into chicken zombies, as an above average gorefest ensues.

This one just goes too far for me. Too much silly, too many attempts at humor, too many attempts at offensive. Just too many attempts, period. The first word that comes to mind when I think of Poultrygeist is "desperate". It's a movie that seems like it was made by a desperate man. I've heard Troma wasn't doing great financially at the time, and this was their big chance to turn things around. And I guess it worked, which is great, but I just wasn't feeling this one. Of course, there was some crazy shit now and then that forced a laugh out of me, like the very end for example, but I just found Poultrygeist to be a bit too constant. There's an old saying, "less is more". Well, a little less here and there might have made a huge difference, in my humble opinion.

But to be fair, there are plenty of things I didn't hate. The first thing to come to mind was the songs. Yes. The songs. I hate musicals with a passion. Cannibal The Musical has always been the only one I don't hate. I didn't hate Poultrygeist. And while I believe it would have been better without the songs, they were some damn funny songs that weren't like fingernails on a chalkboard at all. They were actually kind of catchy, too. Plus, they were all bunched together, and once they ended, the story finally started moving along. The eager looking little gipper who played Arbie and the weird chick with the amazing voice who played Wendy were superb, as well as alot of the other actors. They all did a great job with the material they were given. To get a good idea of what a hellish ordeal Kaufman put these people through, check out the behind the scenes documentary, Poultry In Motion: Truth Is Stranger Than Chicken. Looking past how annoying and obnoxious this movie can be, I suppose it's good enough. A step down from the last 3 Kaufman trash epics, but it ain't no lame ass Kabukiman. That's for sure. 4/10



#Review #Troma

An Open Letter to Klownz

Klownz is a right daft cunt, there's just no denying his cuntishness. Every pore of his skin exudes cunt juice. Honestly, given a competition between who is more of an actual cunt between a girl's vagina and Klownz it would be Klownz. That's how much of a massive total fucking cunt he is.

But I will say this for the cunt, he did - for a while - have the best horror forum going and I can honestly say that I had the most fun on there than any other site. The cunt seems to be getting a bit of a bashing or cunt punting on here, (and yes, I've read through the Manshun topic). Here's 10 reasons why Klownz isn't such a complete bastard and 10 reasons why I am a complete bastard:

1. The Mansion had K-Sound - he was fucking great and we shared loads of choons between us until Moon banned him.

2. Irish Gent - Another top lad, knew him from UHM and fucking love that guy.

3. Shaza - bit of a fucking weeeeeeeeeeeeeetch but a lovely one!

4. Dybuk - Lovely girl, if a bit of a twat at times.

5. Switchy - Yeah I know he reported me and never stuck up for me but he was still a good lad.

6. Woodenheart aka Woodsy - I feel fucking terrible for ever directing her to the Manshun as she was treated like fucking shit on there.

7. Splat - Ditto

8. ForeverDsy and I became friends on there, and fuck me if that girl can't take a dirty joke!! 😄

9. Ninjas-r-cool - first time I ever met Ninjy babes was on there and that cunt still fucking cracks me up!

10. Just the fucking wanton attitude that it once had, before Moon went all menstrual and Carpenter became a mod.

Night Terrors(2013)



This an anthology which I thought since it said "Return of VHS Horror" would be an SOV. But it's not an SOV instead it is filmed to look like an old VHS tape with some tracking here and there. I could be wrong, but it doesn't look like an SOV. But back to the movie itself. It has three parts plus a wrap around story. The movie starts with a teenage girl babysitting her little brother. Her brother wakes up and wants to hear a story before he goes back to bed. The older sister tells him three messed up stories that would give any little kid nightmares.

The first story is called Massacre on 34th Street. It's basically a killer santa chopping up a bunch of young adults. It's pretty standard and the acting isn't that great. The effects are kind of meh, but if you get through this one it will bring you to the next story.

This story I think is called Baby Killer. It's about a scientist that goes to an extreme to try and save his dying daughter who has leukemia. He starts off killing a janitor at the place he used to work at and then he decides he needs someone younger. Then he kidnaps and kills a little boy, but he needs younger than that. He needs a fetus which leads him to his pregnant neighbor. This one is pretty brutal. The effects are still not great, but it is good.

The third and last story is fun. Abstinence. It's basically a new take on the zombie genre where there is a STD that is going around a college campus turning everyone into a zombie. It's a fun buddy comedy horror story.

This is overall a pretty good anthology. It's very low budget made for about $5,000. But it kept me entertained through most of it. 7/10

Renzo Does Things

Things. That's exactly what this movie is. A jumbled mess of obtuse things that don't fit together, being forced to co-exist in 85 minutes of sheer avant-garde brilliance. Everything about this movie is a complete enigma. The premise, the purpose, and the pretense of this movie, because it makes NO sense, it serves NO moral, and the biggest mystery is to whether the creators of this film intended to create a mocking masterpiece, or if they just fell completely steam-roller flat.

The look of this film is reflective of the mindset of the film-makers involved: it's fuzzy, foolish, and downright foreign. Shot on 8mm, this Canadian epic is technically one of the worst films ever made. Everything about this movie is just wrong, from the framing, to the editing, to the sound mixing. Especially the sound mixing, because it's almost entirely dubbed, and everyone doing their lines seems completely out of their emotive mindset, it just ends up fascinating. The music is a mixture of mistaken synths melodies, airy repetition, and dastardly guitar riffs. The lighting is in eccentric Suspiria colors that vividly contrast our protagonist's blue sweater. The editing is jumpy, the shots linger far too long on people struggling to accomplish a relatively simple task such as putting on a shirt, or wiping off blood and goo with paper towels. It's only natural that the cast and crew had no idea how to film a regular movie, because they can barely dress themselves. Yet all this transcends typical technical inferiority and surmounts to something mesmerizing. A true testament to Canadian film-making.

The plot involves things, and characters who encounter things, and unenthused conflicts brought about by things. After things start appearing, it becomes a survival story in the vein of The Evil Dead, only less coherent, less logical, and with a lot more beer and filler. Nearly half of this movie contains scenes that further the plot in absolutely no way, and sometimes even twist the story into a complete knot. Describing the story of Things is one of the toughest challenges mankind has faced, because the premise has yet to be deciphered. So when one wants to know about Things, it all boils down to a mustached mullet man in a blue sweater fighting off giant rubbery ants after his spectacle-wearing brother's wife gives birth to said things after having been artificially-inseminated by a satanic scientist... or something.

Things is a strange case of the worst ingredients forming a completely happy accident. You have to be in a strange place to enjoy this movie, because it's so bad... it's beautiful. Some movies are described as nightmares on film, but most films are too coherent, or structurally sound, to encompass a true nightmare. A real nightmare makes no sense, and takes you from one place to another, so fluidly, that you don't even realize you're going there until you suddenly find yourself at that place. This is Things. A surreal mess of incompetent creatures and uncordial catastrophes, that you'll never truly understand, even after you have just experienced Things.

This review is from my imdb account: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0183881/reviews-24

#Review