You can never get rid of the babadook...

I've been thinking of this movie a lot lately. The film deals with a mother losing her mind over the constant chaos that her son regularly instills upon her, and I can't help but feel a strong parallel to my own undesired reality. I live with my mother, who's taken custody of her severely autistic grandson, because his own mother couldn't bear it any longer. They like to focus on his autism as the reason for his manic behavior, but I've always felt his strong mental retardation was the greater issue. He's a handful to live with, and while I hate my sister for all the other horrible things she's done in her life, particularly to my own mother, I wont hold it against her that she couldn't deal with this child anymore. He's enough to drive anyone mad, and yet my mother has taken on the burden herself, due to some twisted sense of loyalty to her family that I can't understand. I wish I was more patient, but it's hard to be patient when you haven't had a good night's sleep in weeks.

Essie Davis gave a great performance. She loves her son, but can't deny that he drives her fucking nuts. Sometimes, he's fine. Sometimes, he's nerve-racking. Other times, he's sometime worse. Often, he becomes unbearable. Then he makes us both unhinged.

Our protagonist isn't a bad person, but she's pushed to her limits without any way out. Medications never sedate the madness. It always shines through, and it's surprisingly contagious. If only there was one night where we could be undisturbed, and sleep it all away without the worry of having to deal with the menace that haunts us nightly, but we could only be so lucky. It bleeds into the morning, disrupting our days, and is in constant need of endless supervision. It needs to be maintained, but it's hard enough maintaining ourselves, let alone someone like this. It's always the same thing. A recurring nightmare that holds us all back, and it's ours. Utterly ours, and there's no outside assistance, and there's no escape from it.

Every night, it's the same thing with my nephew. Despite being sedated, he never sleeps. I know this because I never sleep. In a lucid dream, I hear the incomprehensible voices coming from a child who can't express himself through words. Only screams. I check the time, and it frightens me. It's 3:15, exactly. The nightmare is here, and it's here to stay. If it's in a word, or it's in a look, you can't get rid of the babadook.

#DontLetItIn