Here's something nobody asked for: MyWaste!

Ugh... what am I doing with my life? 😞

https://trashepics.com/mywaste/

F13 part 3 connection to Land of the Dead

Well, not really a connection, but, whatever. In F13 part 3, there is a scene where the biker gang.shows up at the house on Crystal Lake to get even with Shelley. First we see the white male biker guy... he comes out from behind the van, and then he makes a strange sort of barking sound, to summon his friends. It just hit me, that that's just about exactly the same sound that the lead zombie always makes, in Land of the Dead, to herd his co-zombies toward Fiddler's Green. It's not exactly a bark sound... more like sort of a sharp "rolf!"

Anyway, these things are, of course, extremely, extremely, extremely important. I had to immediately call your attention to this pressing, serious, urgent matter. That is all.

When you want to feel like the last human on Earth

Go for a walk in the middle of the night. Right now it is 3:45 AM, where I live, and I just got back from a walk. I was having trouble sleeping, obviously. Anyway, what a cool feeling it is, to go for a walk in the middle of the night. I only saw one car, and one skunk, in half an hour. That's a pretty good car to wildlife ratio, eh?!?

I actually live quite close to my local city, and it was still very quiet and peaceful. I could hear some air conditioners, and a few transformers on telephone poles, but basically it is as quiet as it ever gets around here... what a treat. Somehow it is just easier to think, when there are no people walking near you. That makes no sense, but it is true, for me at least.

I was hoping to hear crickets and katydids, but they aren't active yet, apparently... maybe in another couple of weeks.

I used to do this fairly often (go out very late at night), a few years ago... I think I probably mentioned it on the IMDB horror board, and possibly here as well. I just have to remind myself not to watch videos of creepypastas like Smiling Man before I go out, or I'll be so scared I can't enjoy the experience.

Shot-On-Shiteo: Las Vegas



Alright, so, back to the S.O.V. shit. In past reviews, I've touched on the different types of shot-on-video Horror movies. The levels of quality, I mean. First, there's the Black Devil Dolls From Hell of the world. Namely, the unprofessional sins against filmmaking, which can only be enjoyed by those who love the schlock enough to love just about anything. These can prove to be a very good time, depending on how much you like these things. Then, you have the Blood Cults of the world. Otherwise professional productions, but with one huge problem: They're really, really boring. A quality far less excusable than bad acting/lighting. Then, there's the rare exceptions like Video Violence, which are totally not boring at all, despite being of surprisingly professional quality. And then there's... Aw, who am I kidding? I have no fucking idea where I'm going with any of this. I thought maybe if I name dropped a bunch of S.O.V.s, then, at least it would sound like I know what I'm talking about. The truth is, I picked a hard movie to review, this week, and have absolutely no game plan.

I should probably just write about Video Violence, since there's plenty more to say about it than the one I'm attempting. But after my most recent viewing of Las Vegas Bloodbath, the other day, it's on my mind, and this is really the only way to get it off. But for the record, this here is one of those S.O.V.s that are so bad, so inept, that... eh, to hell with it. It's just bad, ok?

Bad, but somewhat redeeming if you enjoy total trainwrecks. If there was ever a reason to be a closet fan of one of these, I'm sure plenty of them can be found right here. But I'll tell you what can't be found: Ideas. It just seemed like nobody had any real ideas for this. It all feels a little incomplete. There's killing, gore, titties, cheesiness, sleaziness, but this movie feels very thrown together, as if someone just wanted to make one of them S.O.V.s, and just went out and did it. Preparations be damned. Not to say there's not a story. I mean, there's not at all, I guess, but there is a reason for the madness. Some dude's cheating whore of a wife. She gets caught in the act and pays for her infidelities with her head, leading to a bunch of random murders. So, there's your story.

Ok, there's also the B.L.O.W. chicks. Beautiful Lady Oil Wrestlers, they call themselves. From the shitty footage I saw, It doesn't look like these ugly bitches are very good at it. Then again, I'm no oil wrestling expert. The B.L.O.W. chicks are hanging out, having a girl's night in with some pizza and beer. Nobody ever says anything remotely interesting, or anything that sounds like it was memorized from a script. A lot of mumbly small talk that reminds me of Blood Lake. Hopefully, someone will show up soon to put them out of their misery.

So, yeah. Sam mutilates B.L.O.W. one my one. Drilling a hole in one's head, and pulling an arm off another. The ugliest got the worst of it, though. The pregnant chick, whose hairy areolas are the size of pancakes, gets her stomach sliced open, and is de-fetused the old fashion way. The still pissed off Sam then throws said fetus like a football. Meanwhile, the others are tied up in the other room, doing an atrocious job at acting scared. One of them insists that there's nothing to worry about because he's probably just a lunatic who aims to rob them. This is one of those movies that makes it easy to root for the bad guy.

Despite everything, this is actually one very mean-spirited movie. A tone, which is greatly overshadowed by a mountain of flaws. I detect a little bit of Tim Ritter inspiration, with the cheating wife, killing spree, etc. However, director, David Schwartz, does it all with far less talent and taste, which would be fine if this wasn't so one dimensional. Much like the entire Slasher sub-genre, shot-on-video Horror had seen better days by 1989. As the heyday was coming to a close, countless nobodies came out of the woodwork to throw in their half-assed efforts. Perhaps Las Vegas Blood Bath arrived a little too late to be appreciated like the earlier entries, few of which are all that much better, to be honest. But despite the dark humor, titties and gory mutilations, this one is extra rotten, and seems to be proud of it. Recommended to S.O.V. enthusiasts only. 3/10



#Review

Early Announcement: Doll/Toy Challenge

Letting everyone know that in December I will be hosting The Doll/ Toy Challenge. This will take place in December because it fits in so well with Christmas. I've made many dolls and toys over the years, and this is a challenge I am excited to host! Plus there just might be a surprise with this one as well, but more on that later.😬

Beneath the Planet of the Apes, what a downer!

No, I definitely liked it, but what an ending! It really makes me wonder where the next film comes into play, and more importantly... HOW! Of course, I know they can retcon things (like they retconned the year from 3978 to 3955), but to undestroy the earth would be impressive! Also, I know there's some time-travel coming up in this series, so that ought to be fun!

Good to see Charlton Heston back in this one. I feared he'd have a limited role (like the intro flashbacks only), but he came back at the end in full swing. That telepath-induced fight between Taylor and Brent was great, but damn that ending! Those maniacs! They blew it up! Again!

Why do people think clowns are scary?

Not to sound like Gigaheart, or anything. But I was watching that movie, Clown (2014), the other day. Not terrible. Nothing special, though. When it comes down to it, it's probably one of the best Clown Horrors I've seen, which means next to nothing, imo. It just got me to thinking. Why do some people find clowns and clown Horror to be scary? When I see a clown, all I see is a sad fuck who once dreamed of being a comedian, but, at one point, realized that they aren't funny and have no talent or charisma. So, instead of finding something they ARE good at, they stick with comedy and change into something so unfunny, that it only appeals to the lowest common denominator. You think clowns are happy people? I seriously doubt it. I'll bet they hate themselves. I'll bet they sob while watching Dane Cook. "That could have been me", they say to themselves, as they choke down their cheap, warm beer. I don't fear clowns. I pity them. But I would still like to see Killer Klowns From Kansas On Krack, even though IMDb rates it a 2.4.

Favorite Movie Box/Poster Art

I miss the days of the cool VHS box art. I've always had a fondness for movies posters, and cover art. Just don't seem to get that much nowadays. One of my favorites is from Ghosthouse (1988) directed by Umberto Lenzi. Another one I've always liked was from Demon Wind. Its cover would change from a solid window to one of a window bursting open and a demon coming through depending on how you turned the box. I believe it's called lenticular printing. What are your favorites?

Women in Horror

Interesting:
https://qz.com/1016753/horror-is-the-only-film-genre-where-women-appear-and-speak-as-often-as-men/

Help Linnea Quigley out??

https://twitter.com/LinneaQuigley
If you look at her Twitter account, she posted something on June 27, and she says she's desperate for help with something. She says it's something being directed by Jason Paul Collum (not Gollum). Linnea says this is something she has wanted to do for 20 years. Can people here repost this to your favorite horror forums??????

Here, I think this is what she's talking about:
https://www.gofundme.com/extras-linnea-quigley-documentary