It's funny how your mind wanders. The other day, @der bought me a sangria, and I immediately thought of Sanford and Son.
I watched all of that fucking show. It's fucking hilarious. Redd Foxx played Fred G. "Sanford". That's S A N... F O R D. Period. He was a cranky old black man who couldn't bear with the thought of his son moving on without him, so he'd often sabotage his efforts to make it big. Demond Wilson played "Son" aka Lamont Sandford, the cool, chill black protagonist with an afro who's just trying to get by... and get laid.
My mom bought me all 6 seasons on dvd, because I'd watch that shit. It's got a great theme song, and it's a trash epic. Literally, it's about people who deal in the junk business, and it's just blaxploitaiton/racist jokes, filmed in front of a live studio audience.
So if there are any fans, have any of you watched the show "Sanford", in which I guess Lamont left from the dynamic, and it was only Redd Roxx? Cuz that sounds pretty fucking awesome."
You know those people who can't seem to take a foreign film seriously if the dialogue has been dubbed? Well, I'm not one of those people. However, today, I am. Of course, I've only seen the dubbed version, as it's still the only one available in my country, as far as I know. Sure. I've heard better dubbing, but don't let that ruin it for you. I mean, how seriously were you planning on taking this movie, anyway? So, the main characters: Three guys. One older guy and two younger guys, all sailing onto an island, looking for older guy's nephew... for some reason.
This nephew guy is probably missing, but then, we're informed as to how his uncle feels, as he mutters the words "fuck my nephew! He should die!". So, who knows what the story is here? That statement, though, pretty much sums up the entire story. So, these three jerkoffs don't seem to care much for each other, and the two younger guys may not even know this nephew, for all we know. However, finding him must be awfully important if they are way the hell out here. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we never actually learn the truth behind this mission, or if the nephew was ever here to begin with. As soon as these guys set foot on land, they are immediately sucked into a hell like they've never imagined. And a hell from which they will never return.
This island is the home of a bloodthirsty, militarized cult, who are possibly preparing for world domination. Or maybe they just hang around, training, so they can kill anyone who happens to drop by. Either way, we are led to believe that what they are doing is super important, at least to them. It should also be pointed out that there are experiments being conducted to reanimate the dead, hence the title. This cult is led by Karl Jr. and his daddy, Karl Sr. from Violent Shit 1 and 2 fame. Aren't they supposed to be dead? I can't remember, it's been so long. And I certainly don't remember Karl Jr. looking like the hound from Game Of Thrones, but OK. Well, this seems to be it for the three mystery guys, as they're now surprisingly accepting that their lives are coming to an end, shortly.
After showing their new guests some examples of excruciating ways to die, Karl Jr. is feeling extra sporty this afternoon, and lets two of the guys go, with the understanding that they will soon be hunted. The third one is slaughtered and replaced by a Ninja, who, I guess, is now the main character. As long as the other two listen to Leon, yes, Leon, they might live, after all. Probably not, but we'll see. This Leon guy was once part of the cult, but after expressing discontent over having to rape his wife's corpse, he's naturally been on the outs.
And of course, the two knuckleheads end up getting themselves killed before they can get anywhere. Just as well, as Leon soon meets up with his two Ninja pals who also very much want off this island. So, the three main characters have officially been replaced by Ninjas. And together, they form a plan to take out the Karls and their Army of gorehounds, before they get taken out in far worse ways.
Now I have read everything there is to read about what happened in Amityville, Long Island, New York. I do believe that some real shit did happen in that house. The DeFeo's moved in. Ronald DeFeo Jr killed six members of his family. They were found by police in their beds, lying on their stomachs. It's estimated that the whole thing took a mere 15 minutes from start to finish. The police determined that the rifle hadn't been fitted with a silencer, so the gunshots should hypothetically have woken the DeFeos up; however, there was no sign of a struggle. He was tried and convicted for the 1974 killings of his father, mother, two brothers, and two sisters.
The Lutzes moved in next. George and Kathy Lutz married in July 1975 and each had their own homes, but they wanted to start fresh with a new property. Much of the DeFeo family's furniture was still in the house. They lived in the house for less than a month. George Lutz was one evil son of a bitch. He practised the black arts and drove whatever entities were in the house to begin with - haywire. Daniel Lutz (his step-son) claimed he witnessed George practicing telekinesis in the garage one day, and that he has a ton of books on "sacrificing virgins".
Some weird shit went on in that house. That boy you see in the photo - he wasn't there when that photo was taken. A priest was blessing the house when he heard a masculine voice demand that he "get out." The house was plagued by swarms of flies despite the winter weather. Kathy had vivid nightmares about the murders. The Lutzes' 5-year-old daughter, Missy, developed an imaginary friend named "Jodie," a demonic pig-like creature with glowing red eyes. George and Kathy saw the image of a demon with half his head blown out. It was burned into the soot in the back of the fireplace. George saw Kathy transform into an old woman of 90: "the hair wild a shocking white, the face a mass of wrinkles and ugly lines, and saliva dripping from the toothless mouth." Ed and Lorraine Warren visited the house. They were among the very first to investigate the Lutz's claims, corroborating the evil presence in the house with their expertise in demonology and clairvoyance.
I'm not a huge fan of porn of any kind, but intrigued by all that is extreme and/or fucked up. But this shit is officially too much. So, Jamie Gillis (of Water Power fame) has put out a number scat fetish porno flicks which seem to put an emphasis on the degredation of women. This particular woman was given the luxury of having a drink before enduring the atrocities which lie before her. And I can say with all honesty that she needed it. The look on Carol's face from the very beginning is proof of that.
And finally, Mr. Gillis takes a big fat shit all over Carol's chest. which is actually when this shit finally starts getting good. She lays on the floor, crying while he stands over her and masturbates, ordering her to do stuff with his shit. Such as rub it all over herself, On her crotch, in her vagina, and yes. In her mouth. She actually managed to suck down a turd or two. As miserable as this poor woman seemed, there is a point where she apparently snaps and starts laughing hysterically at what was going on. The laughter would not last, however.