No One Will Save You 2023
New on Hulu. Trending a lot, so what's the big deal?
A girl in an isolated house goes through a cat and mouse ordeal against some old school aliens. For this movie to work, the aliens need to work. I think they're pretty good: thin, weird appendages, jerky movements, and that classic big-headed black-eyed classic alien head. These things are assholes, and our heroine of minimal dialog has to best a lot of them. They also have telekinesis and tractor beams on their ships. Very traditional alien stuff, but that's a good thing. There's also a spongy throat parasite thingy, and that's pretty squirmy.
It's not bad. Not sure I cared for that ending though. I mean, I guess I knew what they were going for, but it felt meh.
#Review
📝 My Feed
✍️ Add Post
🖊️ Markup
Posts and comments support the following markup:
- **bold**
- *italic*
- ~~strikethrough~~
- [u]underline[/u]
- [color=red]red text[/color]
- @username (limit 10)
- #hashtag (limit 10)
👁️ Preview
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Featured Theme
TE looks boring if you haven't picked a theme, so I added the "Featured" theme, which will reflect any seasonal aesthetics, such as October should obviously use the Halloween theme, and when this month hits the 13th, it would switch to the F13 theme.
Then I defaulted all guests, new users, and existing users with no theme to use the Featured theme. If you hate it, you can always switch it back to no-theme. But then you'll be boring. You don't want to be boring, do you?
I'll probably find a few bugs here and there...
TE looks boring if you haven't picked a theme, so I added the "Featured" theme, which will reflect any seasonal aesthetics, such as October should obviously use the Halloween theme, and when this month hits the 13th, it would switch to the F13 theme.
Then I defaulted all guests, new users, and existing users with no theme to use the Featured theme. If you hate it, you can always switch it back to no-theme. But then you'll be boring. You don't want to be boring, do you?
I'll probably find a few bugs here and there...
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Children of the Corn 2023
Some sources say it's from 2020. I've seen all the other ones, so why not? It's a rather crummy DTV series, with only a few notable entries. Then again, which franchise isn't exactly like that?
The 1984 original isn't great, but I like it anyway. It has a good eerie cornfield atmosphere, Linda Hamilton, and a bunch of creepy kids. I hadn't seen it until my late teens, so I had a long period of my life where I could look at that cool red sunset poster artwork and build up the movie in my head and make it out to be better than it really is. Sometimes when you do that, you can actually brainwash yourself into disregarding the movie's actual merit (or lack thereof) in favor for your own delusional concept of how great a movie is. Tricking yourself into regarding a movie as a classic. I think that's what Hollywood did when they decided to make this relatively stand-alone film into a whole franchise of DTV garbage.
In 2009, they remade the movie. It was okay at best, but basically just that. A remake of an 80s movie with no real charm or reason to exist. I think it was a Syfy channel movie, which should put it all into perspective for you. Nobody cared, and I've already forgotten all the beats of that movie.
Then in this very year (or 2020?), they thought they'd try again. It may have the same title, but this is less of a remake and more of a re-imagining. It has the same concept of children killing adults because of something in the corn pushing them to it, but the way it plays out is quite different. It's almost more of a story about psychologically fucked up kids, at least until the halfway point where you see there actually is a creature who walks behind the rows. Yeah, they show him, and it's not the worst effort in CGI. The movie looks well-made and it's more sadistic than other entries, that's for sure. Worth at least one watch, but the very end scare perpetuates some dumb genre tropes. Definitely one of the better entries in an otherwise crappy series.
#Review
Some sources say it's from 2020. I've seen all the other ones, so why not? It's a rather crummy DTV series, with only a few notable entries. Then again, which franchise isn't exactly like that?
The 1984 original isn't great, but I like it anyway. It has a good eerie cornfield atmosphere, Linda Hamilton, and a bunch of creepy kids. I hadn't seen it until my late teens, so I had a long period of my life where I could look at that cool red sunset poster artwork and build up the movie in my head and make it out to be better than it really is. Sometimes when you do that, you can actually brainwash yourself into disregarding the movie's actual merit (or lack thereof) in favor for your own delusional concept of how great a movie is. Tricking yourself into regarding a movie as a classic. I think that's what Hollywood did when they decided to make this relatively stand-alone film into a whole franchise of DTV garbage.
In 2009, they remade the movie. It was okay at best, but basically just that. A remake of an 80s movie with no real charm or reason to exist. I think it was a Syfy channel movie, which should put it all into perspective for you. Nobody cared, and I've already forgotten all the beats of that movie.
Then in this very year (or 2020?), they thought they'd try again. It may have the same title, but this is less of a remake and more of a re-imagining. It has the same concept of children killing adults because of something in the corn pushing them to it, but the way it plays out is quite different. It's almost more of a story about psychologically fucked up kids, at least until the halfway point where you see there actually is a creature who walks behind the rows. Yeah, they show him, and it's not the worst effort in CGI. The movie looks well-made and it's more sadistic than other entries, that's for sure. Worth at least one watch, but the very end scare perpetuates some dumb genre tropes. Definitely one of the better entries in an otherwise crappy series.
#Review
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Tolerating "A Return to Salem's Lot"
Oh man. I forgot how bad this was.
Ouch.
But, I feel like there could almost be some way to sort of enjoy it. If you just approach it as a sequel to Salem's Lot, then...... you're totally screwed. It's impossible to enjoy it that way, it's just a terrible sequel. The acting is worse, the whole plot has way too many problems, and it just generally looks like they didn't care enough to even try.
BUT. Maybe... maaayyybeee.... if you have recently watched The Stuff, House (1985), Phantasm 2, Return of the Living Dead 2, or some of the Children of the Corn sequels, it MIGHT be barely possible to watch this and not be too bummed out that you spent a precious hour and a half of your life watching it. It just sort of fits in with the general ambiance of mid to late 80s cheap horror movies, and horror comedies. Sadly, I'm pretty sure this was not intended to be a horror comedy, it just makes me think of horror comedies. As I said earlier: Ouch.
Katja Crosby, who plays Michael Moriarty's love interest, reminded me a little of the main girl in Phantasm 2. (It might just be that they had comparable hairdos).
The Stuff could put you in the mood to watch this, just because it has Michael M as the hero, and they're both Larry Cohen movies. (Not Larry Clark, I always have to correct myself).
House could put you in the right frame of mind, maaayyybeee, just because it's about a guy inheriting a house from an aunt, and finding paranormal shit going down in the area. Also, you can just tell it's from the same period, the way people dress, etc are very similar.
Return of the Living Dead 2 came our around the same time, and it just has a similar vibe sometimes. RotLD2 is funnier and better, though.
All the scenes with the children kept reminding me of Children of the Corn. Not for any cosmic reason, it's just an obvious comparison. Some of the sequels are more like Return to S.L. than the original, I think... it's hard for me to say which ones, they all run together in my brain. Speaking of the children, there's a marriage scene between two vampire kids that is kind of interesting. I don't think they really explained it in much detail, unless I dozed off and missed it, but I imagine that the vampire "kids" were suposed to be many decades or centuries old, and had had their growth halted... there are plenty of movies that feature this type of situation, of course.
What else, what else... Serpent and the Rainbow came out not too long before this, I think. That may have had some influence on the director's idea of having the main character be an anthropologist coming straight from studying cultures south of the US. No wait, the dude in SatR was an ethno-botanist... well, you know what I mean.
So anyway... why did I even make this post. I don't know. It's just not a great movie, and I don't recommend watching it if you haven't sat through it already. But, if you've already seen it, it is possible that thinking about it in the context of the other movies I mentioned here might make you want to vomit a little less. That is all. Kirk out.
Oh man. I forgot how bad this was.
Ouch.
But, I feel like there could almost be some way to sort of enjoy it. If you just approach it as a sequel to Salem's Lot, then...... you're totally screwed. It's impossible to enjoy it that way, it's just a terrible sequel. The acting is worse, the whole plot has way too many problems, and it just generally looks like they didn't care enough to even try.
BUT. Maybe... maaayyybeee.... if you have recently watched The Stuff, House (1985), Phantasm 2, Return of the Living Dead 2, or some of the Children of the Corn sequels, it MIGHT be barely possible to watch this and not be too bummed out that you spent a precious hour and a half of your life watching it. It just sort of fits in with the general ambiance of mid to late 80s cheap horror movies, and horror comedies. Sadly, I'm pretty sure this was not intended to be a horror comedy, it just makes me think of horror comedies. As I said earlier: Ouch.
Katja Crosby, who plays Michael Moriarty's love interest, reminded me a little of the main girl in Phantasm 2. (It might just be that they had comparable hairdos).
The Stuff could put you in the mood to watch this, just because it has Michael M as the hero, and they're both Larry Cohen movies. (Not Larry Clark, I always have to correct myself).
House could put you in the right frame of mind, maaayyybeee, just because it's about a guy inheriting a house from an aunt, and finding paranormal shit going down in the area. Also, you can just tell it's from the same period, the way people dress, etc are very similar.
Return of the Living Dead 2 came our around the same time, and it just has a similar vibe sometimes. RotLD2 is funnier and better, though.
All the scenes with the children kept reminding me of Children of the Corn. Not for any cosmic reason, it's just an obvious comparison. Some of the sequels are more like Return to S.L. than the original, I think... it's hard for me to say which ones, they all run together in my brain. Speaking of the children, there's a marriage scene between two vampire kids that is kind of interesting. I don't think they really explained it in much detail, unless I dozed off and missed it, but I imagine that the vampire "kids" were suposed to be many decades or centuries old, and had had their growth halted... there are plenty of movies that feature this type of situation, of course.
What else, what else... Serpent and the Rainbow came out not too long before this, I think. That may have had some influence on the director's idea of having the main character be an anthropologist coming straight from studying cultures south of the US. No wait, the dude in SatR was an ethno-botanist... well, you know what I mean.
So anyway... why did I even make this post. I don't know. It's just not a great movie, and I don't recommend watching it if you haven't sat through it already. But, if you've already seen it, it is possible that thinking about it in the context of the other movies I mentioned here might make you want to vomit a little less. That is all. Kirk out.
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Sci-Fi/Fantasy Challenge 2023
It's time again for the Sci-Fi/Fantasy Challenge.
You get one point per minute watched of any sci-fi or fantasy movie or TV series. The challenge starts at 12:00 AM September 1st and ends at 11:59 PM September 30th.
Make your SPOT below. Ask any questions in the shoutbox.
2017 - https://trashepics.com/post/7/11/
2018 - https://trashepics.com/post/9/211/
2019 - https://trashepics.com/post/8/73/
2020 - https://trashepics.com/post/1/748/
2021 - https://trashepics.com/post/102/19/
2022 - https://trashepics.com/post/8/101/
It's time again for the Sci-Fi/Fantasy Challenge.
You get one point per minute watched of any sci-fi or fantasy movie or TV series. The challenge starts at 12:00 AM September 1st and ends at 11:59 PM September 30th.
Make your SPOT below. Ask any questions in the shoutbox.
2017 - https://trashepics.com/post/7/11/
2018 - https://trashepics.com/post/9/211/
2019 - https://trashepics.com/post/8/73/
2020 - https://trashepics.com/post/1/748/
2021 - https://trashepics.com/post/102/19/
2022 - https://trashepics.com/post/8/101/
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
An ode to Debi Sue Voorhees' big scene.
I can't believe I'm just finding this now. It was referenced in Red Letter Media's re:View of the Friday the 13th series. I'm even familiar with some of Jon Lajoie's stuff, but I never heard of this one.
I can't believe I'm just finding this now. It was referenced in Red Letter Media's re:View of the Friday the 13th series. I'm even familiar with some of Jon Lajoie's stuff, but I never heard of this one.
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Gen V (The Boys)
This show premiered 3 episodes today, a spin-off of The Boys about college students with superpowers. It's comparable to X-Men in that sense, but given the source material, it's much more violent than any of that sanitized Disney shit.
The Boys is one of my favorite current shows, so naturally, I'll be watching more of this one (only watched ep1 so far). However, it does disappoint me when a show gets some big names attached to it, only to kill them off in the first episode. But on a funnier note, this one chick has the power to get small, and she goes to fuck this douche college boy and he only wants her to go pint-sized on his dick, so there's a tiny girl squeezing a man's shaft and bouncing on his balls.
That's all I have to say about this show for now, so idk... The end?
This show premiered 3 episodes today, a spin-off of The Boys about college students with superpowers. It's comparable to X-Men in that sense, but given the source material, it's much more violent than any of that sanitized Disney shit.
The Boys is one of my favorite current shows, so naturally, I'll be watching more of this one (only watched ep1 so far). However, it does disappoint me when a show gets some big names attached to it, only to kill them off in the first episode. But on a funnier note, this one chick has the power to get small, and she goes to fuck this douche college boy and he only wants her to go pint-sized on his dick, so there's a tiny girl squeezing a man's shaft and bouncing on his balls.
That's all I have to say about this show for now, so idk... The end?
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
EXPEND4BLES 2023
Those rascals are at it again after a near 10-year hiatus. Part 3 and its PG-13 antics killed the franchise there for a while, but they got that violence back. Somehow, this movie is still underperforming in the box office, but then again, isn't every movie? I'll blame people's falling interest in the cinema for that.
So how is the movie? Well, if you've seen any of the other movies, then this movie is like those. Just like those. There is nothing new in this entry. In fact, this movie is even missing certain things, notably Arnold Schwarzenegger and... yeah, Stallone basically isn't in it. Jason Statham carries the movie, yet with all that said... it's still a dumb entertaining popcorn flick. If you want to see your guys killing the shit out of the villains, then here you go. Of course, for today's representation-obsessed demographics, we have a couple of female expendables now. Megan Fox is one of them, and while I still don't take her for a bad-ass, that Jennifer's body is still top notch.
Early rumored casting from years ago suggested Hulk Hogan would be in this movie. Too bad that never happened, because I would have loved to see Rocky get a rematch with that hot dog. Alas, Stallone is showing his age a bit here, not only by joking about it, but by avoiding all physicality. All he does is fly planes here, but I'll take what I can get.
This movie is not great, but it's not bad.
#Review
Those rascals are at it again after a near 10-year hiatus. Part 3 and its PG-13 antics killed the franchise there for a while, but they got that violence back. Somehow, this movie is still underperforming in the box office, but then again, isn't every movie? I'll blame people's falling interest in the cinema for that.
So how is the movie? Well, if you've seen any of the other movies, then this movie is like those. Just like those. There is nothing new in this entry. In fact, this movie is even missing certain things, notably Arnold Schwarzenegger and... yeah, Stallone basically isn't in it. Jason Statham carries the movie, yet with all that said... it's still a dumb entertaining popcorn flick. If you want to see your guys killing the shit out of the villains, then here you go. Of course, for today's representation-obsessed demographics, we have a couple of female expendables now. Megan Fox is one of them, and while I still don't take her for a bad-ass, that Jennifer's body is still top notch.
Early rumored casting from years ago suggested Hulk Hogan would be in this movie. Too bad that never happened, because I would have loved to see Rocky get a rematch with that hot dog. Alas, Stallone is showing his age a bit here, not only by joking about it, but by avoiding all physicality. All he does is fly planes here, but I'll take what I can get.
This movie is not great, but it's not bad.
#Review
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
Lets hear it for the early 70s
In my game as an sorta easter egg, I'm including a list of the great cult films of the 70s and 80s
But the more I was listing them it was like nearly 3/4 were from the 70s so I thought OK I'll just do the 70s, but looking further it was mainly just the first half of the 70s (71-74).
Holy fuck whatever was in the water but it was a magical time.
Theres at least 20 giallos I didnt include otherwise it became too weighted
And Soon the Darkness (1970)
Crowhaven Farm (1970)
Valerie and her week of wonders (1970)
I Start Counting (1970)
Le Boucher (1970)
Queens of Evil (1970)
The Ancines Woods (1970)
Night Slaves (1970)
Han cambiado de cara (1971)
The Third Part of the Night (1971)
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
The Devils (1971)
Black Noon (1971)
What the Peeper Saw (1971)
Glass Ceiling (1971)
Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things (1971)
Demons (1971)
Wake in Fright (1971)
A Bay of Blood (1971)
Fright (1971)
The Fifth Cord (1971)
Inn of the Frightened People (1971)
Deviation (1971)
Crucible of Horror (1971)
The Night God Screamed (1971)
Revenge! (1971)
Erotic Witchcraft (1972)
Terror at Red Wolf Inn (1972)
Arcana (1972)
The Last House on the Left (1972)
The Screaming Woman (1972)
Morgiana (1972)
The Other (1972)
Straight on Till Morning (1972)
What the Peeper Saw (1972)
The Devil (1972)
Demons of the Mind (1972)
A Reflection of Fear (1972)
Crawlspace (1972)
The Dead Are Alive! (1972)
the night strangler(1973)
love me deadly(1973)
The Vault of Horror (1973)
Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)
The Baby (1973)
Don't Look Now (1973)
High Plains Drifter (1973)
Torso (1973)
The Candy Snatchers (1973)
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973)
Isn't It Shocking? (1973)
Mystery in Dracula's Castle (1973)
Hex (1973)
Devicanska svirka (1973)
Nude for Satan (1974)
Inside Amy (1974)
Let Sleeping corpses Lie (1974)
Symptoms (1974)
From Beyond the Grave (1974)
Frightmare (1974)
Blood for Dracula (1974)
Reflections of Murder (1974)
House of Whipcord (1974)
Sweet Movie (1974)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Messiah of Evil (1974)
Vampyres (1974)
Bad Ronald (1974)
Puzzle (1974)
The House on Skull Mountain (1974)
In my game as an sorta easter egg, I'm including a list of the great cult films of the 70s and 80s
But the more I was listing them it was like nearly 3/4 were from the 70s so I thought OK I'll just do the 70s, but looking further it was mainly just the first half of the 70s (71-74).
Holy fuck whatever was in the water but it was a magical time.
Theres at least 20 giallos I didnt include otherwise it became too weighted
And Soon the Darkness (1970)
Crowhaven Farm (1970)
Valerie and her week of wonders (1970)
I Start Counting (1970)
Le Boucher (1970)
Queens of Evil (1970)
The Ancines Woods (1970)
Night Slaves (1970)
Han cambiado de cara (1971)
The Third Part of the Night (1971)
The Blood on Satan's Claw (1971)
Let's Scare Jessica to Death (1971)
The Devils (1971)
Black Noon (1971)
What the Peeper Saw (1971)
Glass Ceiling (1971)
Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things (1971)
Demons (1971)
Wake in Fright (1971)
A Bay of Blood (1971)
Fright (1971)
The Fifth Cord (1971)
Inn of the Frightened People (1971)
Deviation (1971)
Crucible of Horror (1971)
The Night God Screamed (1971)
Revenge! (1971)
Erotic Witchcraft (1972)
Terror at Red Wolf Inn (1972)
Arcana (1972)
The Last House on the Left (1972)
The Screaming Woman (1972)
Morgiana (1972)
The Other (1972)
Straight on Till Morning (1972)
What the Peeper Saw (1972)
The Devil (1972)
Demons of the Mind (1972)
A Reflection of Fear (1972)
Crawlspace (1972)
The Dead Are Alive! (1972)
the night strangler(1973)
love me deadly(1973)
The Vault of Horror (1973)
Lemora: A Child's Tale of the Supernatural (1973)
The Baby (1973)
Don't Look Now (1973)
High Plains Drifter (1973)
Torso (1973)
The Candy Snatchers (1973)
The Spirit of the Beehive (1973)
Isn't It Shocking? (1973)
Mystery in Dracula's Castle (1973)
Hex (1973)
Devicanska svirka (1973)
Nude for Satan (1974)
Inside Amy (1974)
Let Sleeping corpses Lie (1974)
Symptoms (1974)
From Beyond the Grave (1974)
Frightmare (1974)
Blood for Dracula (1974)
Reflections of Murder (1974)
House of Whipcord (1974)
Sweet Movie (1974)
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)
Messiah of Evil (1974)
Vampyres (1974)
Bad Ronald (1974)
Puzzle (1974)
The House on Skull Mountain (1974)
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?
The future of horror
Do you ever wonder what the state of the horror genre will be in let's say, 20-25 years? Or even 10 years. Or even further into the future than that, like 40-50 years (although most of us won't be around to worry about that)?
How many reboots of Halloween will there have been by then? How many Saw sequels? How about remakes of movies like Hereditary and The Conjuring? Will we be getting reboots / legacy sequels to movies like Terrifier? It's actually terrifying to think about...
Do you ever wonder what the state of the horror genre will be in let's say, 20-25 years? Or even 10 years. Or even further into the future than that, like 40-50 years (although most of us won't be around to worry about that)?
How many reboots of Halloween will there have been by then? How many Saw sequels? How about remakes of movies like Hereditary and The Conjuring? Will we be getting reboots / legacy sequels to movies like Terrifier? It's actually terrifying to think about...
📝 Reply to Post
🔁 Repost
What would you like to do with this post?