Unfunny/retarded bullshit posted by lame Facebook fucks

Inspired by my misunderstood Kevin VanHentenryck thread, I thought I'd come up with something similar but not similar enough to butthurt the easily-offended, or give ammo to someone like Gymnopedie, who already has a bug up his cunt about me. I don't know about any of you other Facebook people on here, but I find myself, more often than not, asking myself the same questions when scrolling down my newsfeed: "Wow! This person really thinks that's funny?" Wow! That's supposed to be clever?" Wow! What a self-important twat!". Ok, that last one's not a question, but seriously, fuck Facebook people and their lame sense of humor, and whatever they think is cool or meaningful, cuz it's just not. The memes posted in this thread will serve as examples of to what extent social media has turned people into braindead, attention-seeking lame asses.

And if you see anything on your own FB/social media that makes you want to drink bleach, feel free to join in on the fun!

2023 Turkey Challenge

1) Use IMDb ratings.
1.0 = 6 points.
1.1-1.9 = 5 points.
2.0-2.9 = 4 points.
3.0-3.9 = 3 points.
4.0-4.4 = 2 points.
4.5-4.9 = 1 point.

2) First time view = 1 point.

3) The director appears in the movie = 1 bonus point. You can only score 1 point per movie here even if it is co-directed.

4) Can be any genre.

5) Trifectas. Director actors, and series. For director and actors you can bunch siblings and parent / children or grandparent / grandchildren.

6) A movie can only count towards one trifecta.

7) Single Trifecta - 5 points
Double Trifecta - 7 points
Triple Trifecta - 9 points
Quadruple Trifecta - 11 points.
Quintuple Trifecta - 13
Sextuple Trifecta - 15 points.
Septuple Trifecta - 17 points.
Octuple Trifecta - 19 points.

Etc.

8) Movies with 5.0 ratings or better don't count for any points.


9) Must be at least 45 minutes long for full credit. Half credit for films between 25 and 44 minutes.

10) Start - 12:01 AM on November 1. End - You must start you last movie prior to November 30 11:59 PM.

I found something amazing today

Behold! A mythical four-leaf cheese cracker!

Do I eat it? Or do I preserve it for the rest of my life?

Nunyunnini

This is a short animated segment from American Gods, from a few years ago on Starz. Check it out, it's amazing.

Queen of Blood (1966)

I saw this on Tubi (I think), the other day.

I am pretty sure, although not certain, that it was one of the inspirations for Lifeforce (1985). It's about people in the future (which was still 1990, in 1966), finding signals from an alien civilization that was trying to reach us. The aliens seemed to be having some kind of technological problems, but they managed to get a spaceship to Mars. It crashed there...

Probably half or two thirds of the movie is full of logistical stuff about getting our rocket ships to Mars and back, and whether they have enough fuel for certain maneuvers, etc. It's a lot like watching a 1966 version of The Martian, in that way. I had to keep reminding myself that, obviously, rockets and space travel were still very exciting and new at that time. It was sufficiently compelling drama, for many viewers, to just talk about the basics of what space travel would involve, in a (mostly) scientific way.

Anyway, somewhere along the line the astronauts pick up an alien survivor of the alien spaceship crash. She had gotten herself to the Martian moon Phobos, somehow... some kind of lifeboat or rescue craft from another alien spaceship got her there, I think.

For the next twenty minutes or so, we see the astronauts trying to maintain an objective, detached, scientific, perhaps somewhat benevolent interest in the female alien, while it become more and more obvious to us in the audience that she is nothing but a vampiric killing machine who will kill off the entire crew if she is not stopped. Soooooo that's fun.

You can guess more or less how things go. There aren't too many huge surprises, although right at the end they find a way to go out on a cliffhanger. So that was cool.

The female alien vampire is never seen naked, by the way. I probably should have stated that immediately after I compared the film to Life Force. She is kind of sexy, in a dark, hypnotic way, but she is always demurely clothed.

One interesting thing about this movie is the cast. It has Dennis Hopper, John Saxon, and the famous Basil Rathbone, from many decades in the past. That alone is interesting. If you watch this movie, you are seeing actors who have been in movies in practically every decade from the past ninety years.

Basil Rathbone's character is named Farraday. I found myself wondering if the Fallada character in Lifeforce might have been inspired by him. Their names are roughly similar, and both characters are sort of the Voice Of Science in each film, and both are played by more senior actors. Not sure about this, but it did feel that way to me.

Some of the art toward the very beginning of the film is really cool. Just art of aliens and their space stations and spaceships. It is in the style of the time of course, but I still enjoyed it.

There is a female Earth astronaut. She is cute, and her role is interesting to watch. She does have some responsibility, and gets some respect, but in other ways... well, this is just a Mad Men era space story. She does get treated a bit like a secretary at times.

So, anyway, you could do worse, if you felt like watching a sixties space/horror movie. I would say it's worth a watch. Kirk out.

1st 5 films you saw as a kid at the cinemas/theater?

I'm talking live action. I remember going to a double feature on a nursery/pre school trip to see Bambi/101 Dalmatians. I'm not counting that...I hated Disney back then as much as I do now. Fuck that rat, that duck...Goofy was alright I guess. I always preferred Looney Toons or Woody Woodpecker as a child. So here are my 1st 5...

Star Wars (1977)
Superman (1978)
Jaws 2 (1978)
The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Superman II (1980)

...so do you remember yours? If so list them...no judgments cause you were a child and taken to see them probably by a family member.

I bought Flash on blu-ray

Because it's a good movie. I think people are stupid when it comes to the "Snyder-verse". They want and petition for his canon to continue, but they scoff at the thought of watching the final films in that series and let them become box office bombs. Had the returns been greater, the likelihood of continuing the Synderverse would have been far greater. Money talks. Fans can't be that stupid though. Something strange is going on here. I don't know who to blame.

Best and Worst of 2023

I've mostly seen the mainstream stuff, so I'm no connoisseur.

Faves: The Flash (shut up, Vince!), and perhaps a flick I saw a few days ago, Charlie Day's Fool's Paradise, a satire on Hollywood. Plenty of okay movies this year, but nothing really great. Amityville Death Toilet was a good piece of garbage, though.

Worst: Evil Dead Rise, Blue Beetle, The Boogeyman, Knock at the Cabin.


...and for TV...


Poker Face was pretty good, and I enjoyed Gen V. FUBAR wasn't as good as I wanted it to be, and I ejected from The Last of Us early on. Fuck that show.


So what are your favorites of 2023?

Pearl

In this period-piece psychodrama, Mia Goth plays Pearl, an overworked farmgirl who dreams of being famous. Her mom is a strict bitch and her dad is a vegetable, so she's desperate to get away from the lifestyle. Who wouldn't be? Set in the backdrop of WW1, everyone is worried about the pandemic and catching the sickness, so there's a bit of social commentary on masks. Being related to the movie 'X', the plot also includes some film/porn stuff to tie that whole theme together. Plus an alligator.

To explain any further would do it injustice. Other than it being a prequel, I had no idea what I was getting into, so go in blindly and enjoy the experience and mystery of what the hell this movie may be about. Enjoy it for the novelty of an early 1900s-set horror flick. The era and setting have parallels to Wizard of Oz, and Pearl struck me as reminiscent of the Wicked Witch... of the south?

Mia churns out a good performance, and seems to have had a fair behind-the-scenes role as a co-writer/producer. It makes me happy to see Ti West spitting out some entertaining horror flicks. I've liked him ever since House of the Devil. He's influenced by the classics and is artsy, but not fartsy. It may already be part of a franchise, but it could stand on its own. I do, however, wish to give 'X' another go now that I've gotten to know this character more.

If "MaXXXine" is indeed the part 3 of the series, I have no idea what the hell that one will be about.

#Review

Jeff Anderson

I was just thinking recently, I feel like we should hear this guy's name more often. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeff_Anderson Maybe you already do, if you follow the View Askew universe stuff closely.

All I mean is, I'm not sure that Kevin Smith would have been a success, if not for this guy. He (Jeff A) was the funniest part of Clerks, IMHO. He had great comic timing, and just a really good presence that defined his character.

Looking at his wikipedia page, I see that he has stayed involved with View Askew stuff, over the years.
So, good for him. I just hope he gets credit for doing more than his share, in keeping the first Clerks movie moving along.

It is totally different from what I'm about to say, but it does remind me of it. Michael Biehn should get more credit than he does, for the success of The Terminator. Both Arnold and James Cameron would have become successful anyway, of course, but Michael Biehn's performance in The Terminator helped them both a LOT. He had to communicate the entire backstory of the situation to Sarah Connor, and to us, the audience. Without his intensity, and his whole "tough love" approach to Sarah in the early part of the movie, people wouldn't have fully comprehended the significance of Arnold's terminator.

So. Yah. Nothing to do with Jeff Anderson, but, they remind of each other in that way.