Who do you hate?

I started watching Batman vs. Superman last night, and it was so bad, I turned it off barely 10 minutes in. Then I got to thinking how much I fucking HATE Zack Snyder.

Fuck that guy!

12 movies that should be in the Troma catalog



Troma has done a nice job at living off the reputation it got from putting out movies like The Toxic Avenger, Redneck Zombies and Cannibal The Musical. Although, there are quite a few more great ones and definitely quite a few good ones, too, but considering how few and far between the good/great ones are in a sea of garbage, I'm not so sure Troma is qute as deserving of whatever reputation it may have left. Because, really, what have they done for us lately? Father's day? No. 2011 isn't lately. I'm not sure what's up with that Return To Nuke 'Em High Volume 2, and don't really care, to be hones. I'm sure I'll get a few laughs out of it, but I doubt it's going to be the next legendary Troma movie that will be spoken in the same breath as Combat Shock. But I'm not here to bash Troma, as I've accepted their hey day is over, and that there doesn't seem to be much motivation to improve things. But have you ever been watching some crazy B-movie and thought to yourself "This could totally be a Troma movie"? I have. Here's 12 that I feel would have been a perfect fit for Troma, and could have possibly gotten them a little more long lasting respect.

Blood On The Highway (2008)



Street Trash (1986)



Squirm (1976)



Premutos (1997)



Helen Keller Vs. Nightwolves (2015)



The Abomination (1986)



Dear God No! (2011)



Lake Nowhere (2014)



Teenage Slumber Party Nightmare (2014)



Hobo With A Shotgun (2011)



Special Dead (2006)



Birdemic: Shock And Terror (2010) https://trashepics.com/post/9/73/




I've seen a lot of Troma movies, which goes without saying that I've seen a lot of shit. But aside from that, I've also seen a lot of Troma movies that should not be Troma movies at all. Some are just so abysmal and boring, that they do this company no favors, and mostly just make it seem like the company that'll take ANY movie. "If all else fails, there's always Troma", some wannabe Horror directors probably say, nowadays. That's sad. Troma should have taken a little more pride in itself over the years. Also, some of these films are simply not a good fit, and would seem more at home in the Something Weird catalogue. I don't know what happened there, but there's about as many black sheep as there is unwatchable garbage.

Pigs (1972)



Deadly Daphne's Revenge (1987)



Scream Baby Scream (1968) https://trashepics.com/post/9/21/



Teenape Vs. The Monster Nazi Apocalypse (2012) https://trashepics.com/post/9/9/



Sugar Cookies (1973)



Space Zombie Bingo!! (1993)



Fatty Drives The Bus (1997)



Cry Uncle (1971)



Curse Of The Cannibal Confederates (1982)



Dark Nature (2009)



Demented Death Farm Massacre (1971) https://trashepics.com/post/9/20/



Croaked: Frog Monster From Hell (1981)




Any more suggestions on either end?

Kevin Spacey = Creepy Old Man

I always thought he was a creepy guy.... Guess I know why now.

https://www.vulture.com/2017/11/kevin-spacey-alleged-sexual-relationship.html

https://people.com/movies/kevin-spacey-accused-of-sexual-misconduct-by-eight-house-of-cards-employees-report/

By the looks of it, his career is now over. He's even being killed off from his House of Cards show.

Corey Feldman has been trying to warn people for years about pedophiles in Hollywood. They keep trying to shut him up. I wonder if Kevin Spacey was one of the people Feldman had on his list?

Your favorite Mario Bava movies?

Truth be told - I really hadn't seen many of his movies prior to the October Challenge, except for a couple. I really do like his movies - the thick atmosphere that is present in many of his movies. I only really have skimmed the surface of his filmography. I enjoyed all of his movies that I seen - none disappointed (I didn't rate anything less than a six)

My favorite in order:

Baron Blood (1972)
Schock (1977)
Kill, Baby... Kill! (1966)
Planet of the Vampires (1965)
Lisa and the Devil (1973)
Black Sabbath (1963)
Night Is the Phantom (1963)
Black Sunday (1960)
A Bay of Blood (1971)

Obviously, I have a lot more to see, but it is a good start.

What is some of your favorite Mario Bava movies?

Any movies that you din't like?

Cast a Deadly Spell (1991)

Any fans of this? It sounds really interesting, I'm gonna try to watch it this weekend. It's set in an alternate reality 1940's Los Angeles, where magic is real, and it sounds like it has a lot of humor. I have heard of it, of course, but I don't think it has ever really clicked in my brain, what the movie is. Any fans here??
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0101550/

Your Top 5 Zombie Movies?

Just for the fun of it. What are your Top 5 Zombie Movies?

Here is mine:

I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)
Messiah of Evil (1973)
Flight of the Living Dead (2007)
Day of the Dead (1985)
City of the Living Dead (1980)

If you had to make a Top 5: what would make it?

How do you feel about the Tremors franchise and its future?

I think it's usually fun to watch. A lot of that fun is thanks to Michael Gross' character, Burt Gummer. Burt's a man obsessed with weapons and survival. He started out as a side character in the original 1990 movie and was the main character by the third movie. Gross is the only actor to have appeared in every entry to the franchise.

Like many I'm sure, I thought the franchise was finished after 2004's Tremors 4: The Legend Begins. There were rumors of other sequels for a long time, but none of them ever got past the planning stages. Then in 2015, we finally got Tremors 5: Bloodlines and now there's a part six slated for next year as well as the pilot for a second TV show!

Unfortunately, it sounds like Michael Gross might not be a part of the new show in favor of Kevin Bacon. So far, there's been no mention of Gross' involvement and they're supposedly ignoring anything after the first movie anyway. I wish they weren't ignoring the follow-ups, but we all know how much Hollywood loves rebooting shit.

Even if the new Tremors TV show snubs Michael/Burt, I still hope it's good. It's going to be on Syfy, just like the first show, a channel I've been avoiding for a long time. However, they seem to be trying to finally get their act together. Keep hearing good things about their show Channel Zero, to the point of where I'm interested in watching.

Long live Burt Gummer!

Your Desert Island Band

In Green Room, they discussed who they'd listen to forever if they were stuck on a desert island. Some of our protagonists picked punk stuff, but good old Anton Yelchin picked one that'll I'll agree with, 100%. I'm talking about Creedence Clearwater Revival. They have so many hits, and I never get bored with them.

What artists do you never tire of? I've been listening to The Rolling Stones, Creedence, Alice Cooper, Led Zeppelin, and so many other of the same bands I listened to a decade ago, because they all got it right.

I'm a classic rock guy, if you can't tell. I hate new music, cuz it's dumb and not instrumentally-oriented, and it just misses the point, I think. But what do I know? I gave up listening to new stuff a while ago. I still try to write music, but not so much lately. My thing now is writing shitty stories about delinquents fighting imaginary monsters, but this old-timey music will always have a place in my heart. I guess that kind of thing only gets worse the more nostalgic you get, huh?

What movies did you buy or watch this week (11-5)

Just one for me this week - Slaughter High (Blu-ray)

Udo Vs. Joe: Volume 2



Now, Vampires is just something I cannot get tired of. Even today, after the most recent wave with the Twilight series, and the True Blood for us grown ups. I could still go for some sweet, Vampire action. However, the days of beautiful, atmospheric, and creepy Vampire epics are long gone. Movies like Vampyres (1974), and just about every Jean Rollin film of the 70's. That's what it's all about. Not necessarily lezbo-Vamps, but the atmosphere and eerie tone that has been felt seldomly in Vampire Horror since this period. Today, we're going to take a look at one of the best from the golden era. Well, at least one of the most entertaining. Yes. It's time to explore the second half of Paul Morrissey's Horror double feature. This is Andy Warhol's Dracula!

Still in Italy, and just days after production completed on Flesh For Frankenstein, the Morrissey/Warhol gang gets started on their Vampire movie. An old school, Gothic production with the trashiness and a little of the dark humor from the previous film. Yet, this one is heavier on the dark than it is on the humor. Possibly the most mean-spirited adaptation to date, as well as the most nudity and sex-filled. Once again, high-art meets trash, and the result is once again something quite special, but really, really odd at the same time.

As fortune would have it, we get yet another pairing of Udo Kier and the fabulous Arno Juerging, whose performance is every bit as eccentric as one would expect. It seems like a bit of a reversal of roles , when looking back on their interactions from Frankenstein. This time around, Arno is more or less in charge. Dracula's servant is more hands on than he would probably prefer, because Count Dracula is not doing well. Fresh out of virgin blood for some time, Dracula is aging and withering away pretty fast, and it's up to Anton to think of something quick before he's out of a job. Anton suggests they take a road trip to Italy to find a nice, Catholic family with virgin daughters they may want to give away. This plan, however, does not involve Dracula's sister, who is in the same shape he is. With seemingly no relunctance, Anton and the count stuff her in a coffin and skip town, on a quest for virgin blood.

So, no virgins in Transylvania, I take it. why not just kidnap a child? Anyway, after arriving in Italy, Anton asks around about local Religious families, and is soon pointed in the direction of the broke ass Di Fiore family, who have four daughters. One of them has to be a virgin, right? Well, two of them spend most of their time fucking the asshole servant, Mario, played by Joe Dallesandro. Joe, once again, gets all the poon he can handle, and they're certainly grateful for it. The parents are of course oblivious to all of this, and when approached by Anton, they jump at the chance at gaining a rich in-law, and agree to let them have their pick of virgins to take back to Romania forever.

So, the Di Fiore parents aren't too bright. The father may or may not even be sane, and at least two of the daughters are whores. One is an old maid and the others one is 14. Dracula interviews the two unclean girls, offering them a chance to marry him. As long as they're virgins, that is. As they lie through their teeth, they both are attacked and partially drained. Dracula doesn't get far as his body rejects the unclean blood of whores. So close, yet so far...

As Mario takes occasional breaks from pulverizing the Di Fiore daughters' vaginas, he starts to suspect that something might not be right about this Count Dracula character, as well as that little Anton fuck who is just making everything far more awkward than it needs to be. The parents are too oblivious and money hungry to notice what's going on, but Mario aims to figure this guy out. Not so much out of loyalty to his employers, or the desire to hold on to both of his fuck toys. Mario just really hates rich people. Throughout the movie, he goes on several rants about the rich and how he can't wait until they all get what's coming to them. and while he is the most noble character, technically the hero of the movie, Mario is actually quite abusive to his two friends, slapping them around or raping them when they get mouthy. And in passing, he also makes it quite clear that he'll stick it to the 14 year old if he gets the chance. Actually, that may not be such a bad idea from her perspective, as Dracula is now more desperate than ever for some virgin blood.

Speaking of people who have no problem raping kids, Roman Polanski, of all people, graces us with his presence in a random cameo where he almost beats Anton's ass. Once again, Arno Juerging is my favorite part of all of this. No longer the timid little weirdo from Flesh For Frankenstein, Arno shows he's no one trick pony, as he portrays a more high strung weirdo, who seems positively uncomfortable in his own skin. Joe Dallesandro surprises me, this time. With even more dialogue to work with, he actually says it all like he means it. Maybe he snuck in a acting lesson or two between shootings? Or maybe he just wasn't high, this time. Personally, I liked all these people better in Flesh For Frankenstein, but that mostly goes for Udo Kier. Udo is more desperate and sickly, this time. A bit prissy for some reason, too. Udo just doesn't command attention like he did in the previous film, and isn't really the deviant freak from before. He just wants to not die. And what's up with the VIRGIN blood? Why is that a thing? And why is he out in the sunlight? Of all movies, you'd think this one would get it right. I'm a total Frankenstein guy when it comes to this double feature, but this is still my all-time favorite Dracula film, which is worth every bit of cult status it has. Too bad this didn't lead to a trilogy. Andy Warhol's Jekyll And Hyde has such a nice ring to it! 8/10



#Review