Other Forums

I don't know about you, but I'm kind of losing it without other forums to use. 🥴 The other imdb replacements aren't proving themselves to be very competent, or they're just dead. I need new stomping grounds. We need more trash addicts!

What forums do you lurk, and perhaps even post in? Are message boards like this fading away in favor of sites like Facebook with groups and whatnot?

The Crow Remake

Ugh... there's talk of this happening again. 🙄

Everyone has been reluctant to make this movie happen, because Brandon Lee did such a terrific job in the original, and it always falls through. I've heard about this happening on many occasions, with many directors and actors attached, and every version was scrapped.

Now there's talk of Jason Mamoa taking over the role, and I'll be honest... I don't like that guy. Hasn't impressed me once, in any of the shit he's been in, but they keep casting him in any movie they can. He's already been in one shitty remake that nobody EVER talks about (Conan), and now they're casting this 6'4" beefcake to play Eric Draven? As if!

My hopes aren't very high for this movie. If it's like any of the other attempts to remake the movie, it'll get cancelled too.



Now, I know this movie has a stigma of Brandon Lee fanboys dismissing any possible new entry, but a remake is completely unnecessary. The crow mythology could be taken in various other directions, but the damn studios always tend to rehash everything.

Personally, I loved The Crow: City of Angels, with Vincent Perez as the title character. He did a great job, but nobody gives a fuck because everyone's too busy sucking Brandon Lee's rotten cock. They could make a new story about this stuff... but they don't have a fucking clue how to do it.

😞

Thoughts on The Crow '94 and/or the rest of the series?

The Crime Challenge Results

Now that everyone's had a few days to add up any final points, here are the results for the Crime Challenge https://trashepics.com/post/8/38/.

foz: 4711
Ballz: 4209
Box_a_Hair: 3789
BarkingBaphomet: 2202
Messiah_Of_Doom: 1326
iceflamez: 1292
Gymnopedie: 1256
ZombieCPA: 1101
Amon_101: 831
markus-san: 607
rogerthemoviemaniac8: 0
OnyxHades: 0

That makes @foz the winner. I tried to keep up, but he eventually managed to slip away from me. Congratulations.

Any favorite or least favorite FTVs?

My favorite FTVs were Casino (1995), along with Death Wish 4 and 5. I thought the Death Wish movies would get worse as they went, but they never really did. Had there been a part 6, I would've gladly watched that too.

The FTV I regret watching most was Guilty as Sin (1993). Took me two tries to even finish it. For a movie whose poster quotes a review calling it "an erotic thriller", it wasn't very erotic or thrilling.

Thanks to everyone who participated in this challenge. It's probably not a challenge worth having annually, but maybe we can try it again in a couple years.

Light up a smoke, cause life is no joke.



I just came back from seeing my favorite punky folky comedy rock band, The Dead Milkmen. Shortly after I got there I saw their singer Rodney Anonymous standing right in front of me. I shook his hand and had a brief chat about how much I love them. It was pretty amazing.

There was an odd mix of opening acts, all local. First was Mr. Kitty, who assume are named after Cartman's cat, a weird industrial electronic duo, not really my thing. Then came Chant, just one guy with an enormous drum set and recorded electronic music. His drumming was super impressive, easily the best of the openers. Then a kind of bland indie rock/punk band called The Golden Boys.

The Dead Milkmen were awesome of course. I was right up front, close enough I could read their set list taped to the floor in front of them and sang a few lines into the mic when it was stuck in my face.

Afterwards, while I was waiting for my bus, this pretty little hispanic twink came up to me, said "como estas", shook my hand and just held onto it and caressed it. He told me I was beautiful and asked if I was looking for a boyfriend. I politely told him no, then he asked if I would give him a hug. As flattered as I was, I had to shoot him down. Yikes. Besides, I bet he says that to all the guys.

Any chance to have a Documentary or Found Footage Challenge for the upcoming month?

Title says all!

Brutal prison movies?

With the opportunity of the challenge that's currently running i finally got the chance to check The Green Elephant (1999) and while it definitely qualifies as an "extreme" piece i thought that Uwe Boll's (as strange as it sounds) Stoic (2009) was more disturbing.

Any more recommendations?

Austin And Bundy: Two Peas In A Pod



OK, hear me out. Today, I'd like to talk about two unlikely pop culture icons, who, at first, may not seem all that similar, and in many ways, they're not. However Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin actually have a lot in common. Both were portrayed as the blue-collar every man, allowing them to easily relate to their audience with distinct personalities one could describe as "rough around the edges". The anomaly that was Austin and Bundy's abrasiveness made an impact that no one could have expected. Any other time in history, maybe neither of them would have been so lucky, but in the 1990's, pop culture started to change. People wanted something different. People wanted more of an edge to their entertainment. And thanks to these guys's influence, sitcoms and Pro Wrestling both became a little more interesting for a while. This isn't about who was better, but rather a celebration of them both. This one is for the ornery redneck and the born loser.

I'll start with Al since Married With Children began before Austin's Wrestling career. The sitcom began in 1987, and actually didn't start out as what it would eventually turn in to, come the 90's. Married With Children was always supposed to be "the Cosby Show alternative", meaning it was to be less squeaky clean and more "real" than your average sitcom. Actually, I've heard that, in the beginning, the idea was thrown around to call it "NOT The Cosby show". For some reason, that doesn't sound like it would have been a good idea. Al Bundy was a shoe salesman from Chicago, whose life hadn't turned out quite like he imagined, going by his teenage glory days, which was filled with pussy and touchdowns.

Al has a wife he's not overly fond of, named Peg. He married far too young, and has regretted it every day of his life. Al and Peg have two kids who they both would probably rather not exist. All Al has is the simple pleasures of football and beer. However the relaxation they may provide usually gets ruined by members of his unwanted family, or the neighbors, the Rhoades'. Al doesn't like them either. Steve is OK but Marcy is very much the fingernails on Al's chalkboard. Al had a shitty life, but, for some reason, many of us found comfort in this on Sunday nights. Married With Children was different. It offered something people had never seen before. Although once we had, and the popularity of this show and FOX sky rocketed, things began to change for the Bundys.

After a couple seasons, Married With Children began to change. Not necessarily for the worse. Better and worse, I guess. Much like Roseanne, Married With Children became an exaggerated version of it's former self, bordering on self-parody, at times. Al went from being an unhappy, low paid schmuck to a miserable bum who made about 2 bucks a week, and suddenly went from disliking his wife to finding her repulsive beyond words. Peg went from annoying and lazy to a worthless pile of shit. Al's daughter, Kelly, went from being a ditzy slut to a retard who couldn't even tie her shoes. Bud, however, Bud ended up the most normal, despite his petite frame and lack of pussy-getting skills. Although his "Grand master B" nickname suited him well. By the way; they're all apparently starving to death. Meanwhile, Marcy replaced Steve with pretty boy, Jefferson, who Al seemed to like more, so, at least there's that. Marcy, however, became an angry feminist who made it her mission to ruin anything Al found pleasure in, because that's just how they role. But the joke is on here, because Al thinks she's ugly as fuck.

In the latter years of the show, Al became more crude, sexist, and a borderline degenerate with a toxic body odor, which he was actually quite proud of. The running joke was always that Al never got his day in the sun, regardless of how close he came, at times. The live audience was like no other. They didn't just politely chuckle. They cheered. You could tell, they truly believed in Al and wanted good things for him, while laughing uncontrollably at his misfortune along the way, because it was the misfortune, and the acceptance of such, that made Al who he was. Married With Children was abruptly and unfairly cancelled in 1997, and Sunday nights have never been the same. However, many of us have fond memories of the days when Al walked through that door after a hellish day's work, where he found his wife, watching Oprah and eating bon bons. A man so defeated that suicide was never far from his mind. Only in the 90's would such a concept gain the following that it did.

And speaking of beloved concepts. What was it about good 'ol Stone Cold that people loved so much? Whatever it was, it was enough to take eyes off a red hot WCW and breath new life into a WWF that had been experiencing a five year slump, both creatively and financially. In 1997, the crumbling WWF's top heel experienced an explosion of popularity, forcing them to turn him babyface. This wasn't just "Wrestling popularity". This was something so huge, it has mainstream appeal, which has never been common even in Wrestling's best days. Coincidentally, this was around the time Married With Children ended. So, not only was Stone Cold passed the WWF torch, but also unknowingly took over as America's most beloved blue collar asshole. But let's back up a little.

In 1991, after getting broken into the business in World Class Championship Wrestling and USWA, Austin landed a job in WCW, and became known as Stunning Steve Austin. Over the next 4 years, Austin reached an above average level of success, winning the WCW Tag Team, Television, and U.S. Titles. It seemed as though Steve Austin was destined to carry "the big gold belt", made famous by Ric Flair. It's been said that 1994 was to be Austin's time. I've heard rumors that in the summer of that year, Austin was to go over Flair, making him the main eventer he was meant to be. Of course, we know now the man was meant to be much more than that. However, plans to make Steve "the guy" changed when a slightly washed up Hulk Hogan joined the company, derailing quite a few plans, I would imagine. Soon, it would become clear that if Steve Austin remained in WCW, he would be stuck in the mid-card.

After sticking it out in WCW for as long as he could, Steve was fired via Fed Ex after suffering an injury. Talk about turning piss into lemonade! Austin soon landed a job in what many still considered "the big time". The WWF. A WWF that desperately needed to change, but was still unaware. When Austin showed up, they stuck a silly gimmick on him like they did most of their acquisitions at the time. When Stone Cold's WWF career began, he was known as "The Ring Master". Not so much a gimmick as it was a name, but naturally, the fans didn't take to it. Eventually, Austin brought up the idea of a name change, and in extremely fortunate luck for everyone, his request was granted. Not long after this, Stone Cold Steve Austin got his ass over quick as the top heel. A push fueled by some groundbreaking mic skills, as well as help from guys like Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels, whose legacies he would soon equal and eventually eclipse.

1998 was the year of Stone Cold. Steve not only won the WWF title in the main event of Wrestlemania 14, but helped the company gain some mainstream attention due to a staged rivalry with Mike Tyson. However it would be Autin's next rivalry that made the real difference. For reasons I'm not going to go into, Vince McMahon became a very hated man around this time, which was used to spark a new feud. "Ornery redneck vs. oppressive boss" gained the WWF ridiculous ratings and drastically altered the WWF's content for the better. Because of Steve Austin, the WWF was finally the powerhouse it once was, and to this day, Austin remains the only wrestler one would dare compare to Hulk Hogan in popularity. Unfortunately, after many great feuds and victories, Austin's career was cut short, due to neck injury. In 2003, Stone Cold quietly called it quits. Possibly the only quiet thing he ever did.

The pissed off redneck and the cursed failure. A 6-time WWF champion and a man who once scored four touchdowns in ONE game. Their lives certainly took different paths, and I think it's safe to say Mr. Bundy, as always, got the short end of the stick. However, just like Stone Cold, the already defeated shoe salesman made his mark in the world, and will forever be remembered for not only having great one-liners and shit-talking skills, but for always standing up for what he believes in. So, what does Al Bundy and Stone Cold Steve Austin really have in common? Well, we know both men hated their bosses and the world, in general, and they definitely loved their beer, but it's also safe say that neither man gave a damn what you thought of them. Ultimately, that's why they kicked so much ass!

Martin (1978)

Still one of my favorite vampire movies.

Very unique and one of a kind for the genre.

Romero has stated that he believes character isn't truly a vampire, but the film itself leaves it open to the viewer's interpretation.

What do you think of the movie?

Do you have a point of view on whether Martin is a vampire?

There is a significant amount of the film that demystifies both faith and also vampire myths, so for me that leans heavily towards Martin just being a human killer.

Why does everybody drive so fucking slow?

I am a pretty impatient person by nature, but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to wish that people would AT LEAST drive the speed limit. My preferred driving speed is actually 5 mph over, which will not get you pulled over unless you're in a school zone, but I would be happy if people would just drive the speed limit. But at least 95% on the road like to go a good 5-10 mph under, and they have no idea what the difference is between the right and left lane, and I swear one day they are going to make my heart explode. Maybe I do have road rage, but it wouldn't be a problem if everybody wasn't so fucking retarded!

There is a spot on my way to work where they have one of the speedometer signs on the side of the road that tells you how fast you're going. The speed limit is 55, but whenever I'm behind someone and we get to that sign, as if they were not going slow enough already, they ALWAYS slow it down to about 45 or 40. EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. TIME. The numbers don't even start flashing until you get to 60, but for some reason these fucktards must all be afraid they might get pulled over if they even begin to approach the goddamn speed limit.

The worst are these fucking morons who are in a hurry to go slow. You know, they want to turn on to your road, and you're quickly approaching, and they should really wait for you to pass, but they are in too much of a hurry and pull out in front of you AND THEY DRIVE HALF THE FUCKING SPEED LIMIT! Why in the flying fuck were they in such a fucking hurry to get out if they were going to drive like a fucking grandma??? ARE THEY AFRAID I'M GOING TO SLOW THEM DOWN???? GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!

Been a slow month, huh?

I've been a little out of it this month. Watching a lot of Trailer Park Boys for the crime challenge, working on a website for a starter company, writing the last few chapters of my next novel (even though no one read the first), and playing a lot of Left 4 Dead 2 on my new computer. It can handle this game perfectly, but it can't handle the Friday the 13th Game. I tried, but that shit is laggy as fuck. Too bad Valve never made that game, or it would be smooth as fuck.

I think there isn't a lot of talk these days because nothing interesting is happening in the world of movies and entertainment right now. That's about to change though, with tomorrow's season 3 premieres of Ash vs Evil Dead, as well as Mr. Pickles. That's a funny animated show about a lovable dog, who also happens to be a satanist.

Next month is the trash challenge, so this can all hopefully be considered the calm before the storm. Besides, next month is also when we get new Trailer Park Boys, so I'm ready to get all kinds of fucked up to see John Dunsworth's final season as a drunken trailer park supervisor. Also next month is Jessica Jones season 2, which ought to be good.

Just writing this because I'm bored, and I know you're bored, too, because you're reading this. Get high, get drunk, and go on a rant. How's life?