Murder-Set-Pieces (2004)

Who here has seen Murder Set Pieces? Chances are you probably think it sucks. I don't know why, that's just what the general populace seems to think. I happen to really like it, and I stand by that notion in this very obvious minority. Well, not really like it, I find it somewhat entertaining at least. Certainly not as bad as most people seem to think. Sure the director might be an absolute and total manipulative douchebag, but lets not compare the artist to the artwork. 😉

First and foremost, I get the hate this one gets. The director, Nick Palumbo is a tool! Selflessly advertising his material, bad mouthing and ripping off other movies, even gloating about hurting/scaring the actresses involved, the guy comes across as a real sleazefest! The commentary reveals just how big this guy's egoreally is. One might normally find using random 9/11 footage to be a tad distasteful, but not Palumbo, he's just getting started!

But... I'm more than willing to look past that. Lets get to the material!

Palumbo has called this movie the sickest thing you'll ever see! Is it? Hmmm, not really. It's sick, for certain. Mean spirited? Most definitely, with some very hard to watch scenes. But I've seen worse. Sorry Palumbo, babe. I'm not convinced.

We watch this German photographer.... this guy!



Mmmmm

......Oh sorry, I got distracted.

So we have this German photographer, who likes to meet women, take photos of them, rape them, kill them, eat them, workout and repeat. That's pretty much it, don't expect anything special here. Most normal people would see that there is something seriously wrong with this character. At a dinner with his girlfriend, he promptly tells his girlfriend's baby sister in his German accent that;
"Women suck blood out of men everyday. But at the end of every month.... it leaks out".
Hehehe, smooth. I will like to add at this point that the girlfriend see's nothing wrong here..... I mean really! Come on!!!!

I'll be honest, I really don't know why I like this movie. It's not perfect, it's nowhere near it, but I can't help but like it! Maybe it's the director's arrogance, maybe it's the unintentionally hilarious dialogue, maybe the German photographer...



Mmmmm

Oh sorry again, or maybe it's the fact that I purposely lowered my expectations. It's certainly not the sick materpiece the director wants you to believe, but for a sick twisted film, it does deliver. Nice effective (by Toe Tag Pictures of all companies. You'll even see a cameo by them), very gritty, very mean spirited and intense... and there's a hot German guy in it so there was no complaints from me!

I rated it 7/10. Nowhere near perfect, but enjoyable for what it is.

Thankyou for reading.

#ChildMurder #Extreme #FredVogel #MoreRape #Rape

Rank the Cannibal Films

The ones you've seen. From favorite to least favorite.

Cannibal Ferox
Jungle Holocaust
White Cannibal Queen
Mountain Of The Cannibal God
Amazonia: The Catherine Miles Story
The Green Inferno
Cannibal Holocaust
Massacre In Dinosaur Valley
Eaten Alive!
Man From Deep River
Cannibal Terror
Zombie Holocaust
Emanuelle And The Last Cannibals
Devil Hunter
Cannibal Holocaust: The Beginning

Beware: Children At Play (1989)

For my first ever review here in the Troma zone, I had planned on writing a review for what most people consider the greatest of all Troma movies, the Legendary Toxic Avenger. But in true Tromafreak fashion, I've decided to write about some random piece of shit that nobody cares about instead.

A terrible movie this is. Possibly the worst killer kid flick in existence. Out of all the so bad it's good Horrors of the 80's, the Troma Team always seems to go after shit like this. But sometimes, even shit like this can have redeeming qualities. Unfortunately, said qualities don't show up until the last scene.

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We begin with Father and son playing and frolicking amongst nature. Awkward little scenes involving the father quoting Beowulf for fun, and father and son singing sweet tunes like "Old McDonald". One day, Father gets careless whilst frollicking with son, and gets his leg stuck in a bear trap. Son sits by dying father's side, listening to him babble and go insane, and obsessively quoting Beowulf, and eating beans.

A lot of talk about cannibalism. Father eventually croaks. Newly brain-washed son ditches beans, and mutilates and eats freshly deceased father for supper. What a little asshole.

Fast forward 10 years. John Dewolfe, along with his irritating little family, is driving out to rural New Jersey to help out his old army buddy (sheriff of Rural New Jersey) and his irritating little family, who are all stressed because his daughter was kidnapped some time ago. Actually, a lot of kids from this town have turned up missing. Is it foul play, or did they simply take off just to get away from their unreasonable, religous fanatic parents? Well, whatever the case, Sci-fi writer, John Dewolfe, Army-buddy-Sheriff, his pal, Dr. Fish, and some psychic chick who calls everyone "dearie" should have enough brain power between them to get to the bottom of this. The bottom being that the little kid from the beginning is still lurking the woods, and has grown into one mean bastard who thinks his name is Grendel, and has kidnapped all these missing kids and brain washed them into a small army of little pussy killers.

If there is any reason to seek this movie out, it's the unexpected ending that almost makes the experience worth it. If this movie is known for anything, it's definitely that. As the rest of the movie goes, there is some potential somewhere in there. It's a good idea for a movie. Reminiscent of Children of The Corn at times. But the delivery is abysmal on so many levels. From the little pussy kids who never acted a day in their lives, to the annoying cheap key board score to the unsuccessful attempts at humor by an ugly as fuck cast. Beware: Children At Play sucks. But not unwatchable. And that ending I spoke of should leave you with atleast one fond memory of rural New Jersey. 3/10

#Review

Eko Eko Azarak: Wizard of Darkness

Everybody loves Japanese Girls and Satanism. So putting them together into one movie seems like a great idea. Plenty of gore, witchcraft and lesbian sex scenes. But far less than the movie could have actually had.

This is pretty tame compared to Urotsukidoji: Legend of The Overfiend. But then again everything is.

Misa Kuroi, a very attractive Japanese witch indeed.

Apparently according to this movie Lucifer is a giant handsome blue Japanese man with white feathery angel wings. Most likely.

And Circles of Protection don't really work unless you really know how to do them.

Boobs

Anybody else love tits as much as I do?

#Boobs #Breasts #Funbags #Hooters #Knockers #Mammaries #Tits

The SOV thread

Because I mean hello, there has to be one at a place called trash epics. Troma made some SOV threads singling out a few particular movies, but I figured one big fat free-for-all post that either celebrates or lambasts this supremely niche sub-genre of bottom-feeding white trash horror deck would be appropriate.

I myself love these movies. I can't quite put my finger on why, since, in some cases, even on an entertainment level (we already know on a technical level this is about as bad as it gets) they can be pretty boring. Maybe what appeals to me most is that aesthetically, these movies are ugly. They remind me of the old home videos my parents took when camcorders were becoming readily available and more common back in the '80s.

Something about cheap video quality just appeals to me; the documentary-like look, weird and dated "state of the art" computer effects, the faint buzzing sound in the background, and to say nothing of chintzy homemade gore fx, bad synth scores, everyday, average people who ordinarily would never be in a movie otherwise (hello: old aunt in Splatter Farm), and the decorum of people's homes where many of these movies would solely take place, looking as plain and brown and depressing as can be, wood-panelled walls, linoleum flooring and all. There ain't no fancy schmancy set dressers here! Porn-staches and tube socks also need apply.

My whole life I've naturally flocked toward all things retro and outdated and simple. I don't like big expensive productions. I like amateurism, mistakes, and things that are corny or trashy. I may seem like a walking contradiction typing all this on my cellular telephone, and hey, that's OK. Where am I going with this? I dunno. I think I lost my train of thought a bit. Oh yeah, SOV! Talk about it here if you'd like.

I think my favorite SOV might be Sledgehammer. There's something strangely wrong with this movie. It sorta seems to take place in its own little world where, while Halloween and Friday the 13th are the film's obvious influences, somewhere along the way things went seriously astray. It walks a fine line between total garbage and surrealist arthouse horror. The scenes where the hulking beast of a killer can barely stand up straight without hitting his head on the ceiling in the director's real apartment, stalking his victims down narrow, sad little hallways that seemingly stretch on forever, is the stuff of nightmares.

I showed my girlfriend a few clips of Black Devil Doll from Hell and she thinks it's hilarious, but sitting down to watch the movie in its entirety isn't really worth it. Every now and then we like to go, "Biiiiiitch" and "Wake up, bitch! Wake up!" because it's just the best, you know.

Anyway, imma stop now, because my fingers are tired from typing.

Hi

First

Boar (2018)

If you love John Jarratt in Wolf Creek, love monster movies, practical monster effects and love Australian horror movies then you might be interested in this one.

Good cast with Bill Moseley, Roger Ward, Nathan Jones and even Ernie Dingo.

Good Breeding Gone Bad

No, that's not the name of the movie. The name is Thoroughbreds, but that poster says otherwise. I think it's funny when they make the taglines bigger than the title. They did that for Edge of Tomorrow, and people at the theater kept asking for "Live. Die. Repeat". Anyway, I digress. This is a movie also taglined as "Heathers meets American Psycho", which is kind of accurate.

Olivia Cooke plays our first lead character. She's emotionally challenged, but she's not a bad person. In fact, I think she's great. I think Olivia was great in Bates Motel, and she's really cute. I like her. Then, we have her character's friend, played by Anya Taylor-Joy, from M. Night's Split. She hates her stepfather, because he's a rich prick who treats mom badly. Of course, she could be overdramatic about it. There's rapey vibes, but the movie generally steers clear of much action. It's just a strange look into a bad situation, through the eyes of these unhappy, overprivileged teen girls.

As for the Heathers comparison, it is kinda like Heathers. Not as funny, but not as light-hearted. American Psycho comparisons are because Olivia's character has plenty of Bateman moments, and is unphased by some disturbing material, and that's why they call her the creepy girl. She's not creepy though. I'd totally do her.

Another notable factor in the movie is Anton Yelchin, in his final film. I loved Anton. He picked a lot of great roles, and would have went on to keep making great movies, I think. Still such a goddamn shame he had to go so young, and in such a bizarre way. He was good though, playing a quasi-pedo drug dealer, but I liked his character. I always like his characters.

Overall, an interesting movie, and I might have to reflect upon it some more. While I might not sound overly enthused by this review, it's still the kind of movie I'm very happy to see get theatrical treatment. We need more dark, R-rated movies like this. It's a teen drama, but it's not about the teenybopper shit. It's about human feelings, and what to do with them.

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On a side note, some of the trailers looked alright. Unsane and Hereditary are two movies I want to see now.

Favorite "Tales from the Crypt" episodes?

In memory of Don Rickles, I watched his "The Ventriloquist's Dummy" episode, directed by Richard Donner and starring Bobcat Goldthwait. This show was all about great guest stars and directors.

A few days before that, I watched Arnold's "The Switch" about the old man (William Hickey) who trades body parts with a young man (Rick Rossovich) to win his woman's heart.

Throughout seven seasons, they've had a ton of great episodes. Another of my favorites off the top of my head would be Walter Hill's "Cutting Cards" with Lance Henriksen and Kevin Tighe.


Here's a reference for you:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tales_from_the_Crypt_episodes


Is this the best horror anthology out there? I think the most notable competitor would be Tales from the Darkside, but I haven't seen many episodes of that series... YET!