L.A. Wars (1994)

Just watched LA Wars as I grabbed the Vinegar Syndrome release a while back. If you are into action/exploitation you need to see it now. Right up there with Action USA as cheesy gold. It has everything from over the top gun violence, martial arts, boobs, ridiculous 90s attire, and your typical 90s meat head in the lead role. The exchanges with him and his captain are hilarious. They are almost straight out of the ones they made fun of in the Last Action Hero but they were trying to be serious. Anywho Vinegar Syndrome knocked it out of the park with this one.

Limitless (2011)

I just saw this movie for the first time, two or three days ago. I guess I had heard of it, and maybe vaguely knew the general idea, but somehow I missed seeing it.

I liked it! The WAY they shot the movie is borderline spectacular... it has lots of very cool shots that I think might be called fractal... the camera appears to be zooming in and in and in for MILES along a city street, and the central point in the frame keeps expanding until it moves beyond you and you seem to be within it, and then the new central point just keeps expanding. It just suggested what was happening to the main character, from his point of view... he was getting insanely higher levels of perception and awareness of detail, when he took a certain drug... I'll get to that later. Anyway, I also liked the way the colors (do you say the "palette?") changed, whenever he took the drug. When he was his normal, ordinary, average slob of a loser of a self, all the colors in every setting were sort of grayish blue... it made me think of the colors of most scenes in The Ring... it was almost like he was underwater all the time. Then he takes the drug, and almost instantly all the colors he sees become BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT BRIGHT super vivid, fill of warm reds and yellows, like a sunny day in a flower garden.... suddenly everyone's skin looks very healthy and youthful... basically his whole world becomes exponentially more enjoyable and more fun to live in, whenever he takes the drug. I hope this movie didn't prompt too many people to get really into drugs, now that I'm thinking about this... for me, even coffee is usually more than enough. Yikes.

Anyway, as most of us here probably already know, the idea of the movie is that a pretty regular guy who happens to live in New York City, and tells people he is a writer although he never actually writes anything... this dude more or less accidentally bumps into an old acquaintance who gives him a drug, and it makes him... I don't know, maybe ten or twenty times smarter. The point being that he becomes MUCH smarter, so much smarter that... it's just impossible. Suddenly he can learn languages in just a few hours or days, and remembers every line of every book he was forced to read in college, and is super gregarious and sociable, and finds math to be an absolute blast, and can understand significant PATTERNS in the stock market, and can write the great American novel in just a few days... and luckily, he also happens to be Bradley Cooper, so all the ladies find everything he does to be super attractive and interesting.

The downside of all this is that the drug wears off after a while, and he needs to stay jacked or he REALLY crashes, and could even die. So, he needs a constant supply. Also, there is some kind of hit man stalking him. He knows this has something to do with the drug, but he isn't really clear on exactly why for most of the movie. ALSO, he ends up having ANOTHER hit man stalking him (well, a Russian loan shark and the loan shark's henchmen), because he was so overconfident and manic when he was on the drug that he got involved with this loan shark just to get his hands on more money, faster than he could otherwise.

Other plotlines involve his off and on girlfriend, who has serious qualms about this drug, and also his budding career in the corporate/Wall Street world. He also meets his ex wife, who has had some experience with the drug and who was so frightened by it, and so negatively affected by her withdrawal from it, that she seems to have aged thirty years, and just wants to spend the rest of her life hiding from everything, probably curled up in a fetal position as much as possible. She is a disturbing and spooky character to see, but she gives him some important advice that I think helps him to survive.

This is very much a New York City movie, by the way... As a Massachusetts guy, I have always enjoyed the similar movies Good Will Hunting and Charly (a Cliff Robertson adaptation of Flowers for Algernon that they filmed in Boston, in the late 60s). But, Limitless is VERY NYC. I have mixed feelings about this, just like I do about how many movies take place in L.A. The fact that Eddie (the main character) lives in NYC means he very quickly meets global titans of finance and industry, and that he has hundreds or even thousands of bars and nightclubs he can go to to meet random women. I kept thinking, if this movie took place in a normal small town, I'm not sure if his life would actually change very much no matter how much smarter he got. Most of us are sort of fenced in by various obligations, and our lives wouldn't necessarily change very much even in the circumstances shown in the movie. Soooo that's depressing as fuck.

OK, that gets me thinking... one thing that makes this movie work is that Eddie is basically a likeable guy, who just got dumped by his girlfriend. He seems basically decent and honest, and nice, if not necessarily incredibly smart, and watching the movie, you just root for him and you want his life to get better. So... yeah, the factthat he just got dumped by his girlfriend, is on the verge of getting kicked out of his apartment, and is going nowhere career-wise means that he is more open to sudden, huge changes in his life than most of us would be, no matter where we live. Soooo.... yeah, whatever that means.

So, just in general, this is a fun movie, a good thriller, and clearly it got under my skin enough that I'm writing this long review/commentary. If you haven't seen it, you should check it out! Kirk out.

Flesh Eating Mothers (1988)

This movie is almost competent. It seems like some crap Anchor Bay might have put out back in the day, and that crap was always pretty awesome either way. This movie has some charm to it, but only a little.

The plot is brilliant though. A guy sleeps around with the housewives of suburbia, unknowingly spreading his VD that turns women (who have had children, mind you) into some very very hungry women. They're almost zombies, but not braindead enough. Furthermore, they look like rip-offs of Fright Night vampires, but before I could draw that comparison, I saw them more as a prelude to Jack Nicholson's Joker with their frozen grin faces.

Mildly entertaining. Funnier yet is that this movie was released around the same time as Troma's Rabid Grannies. Should I bother with that one?

Sam Jackson and Richard Roundtree

Samuel L. Jackson, born 1948
Richard Roundtree, born 1942

I had no idea they were only 6 years apart. Shaft prime sure started early!

Jeepers Creepers 4

I realize, many people refuse to have anything to do with this franchise, because the director is such a shitstain. I can't argue with that. But for me, this is a guilty pleasure... I have enjoyed at least a few scenes in all the movies in the franchise so far. I will have to find a way to watch this so no money goes to the director... anyway, it looks like they are well into filming, and possibly have already finished. It says it will be released later this year.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeepers_Creepers:_Reborn

Savage Streets (1984)

So this movie is basically perfect. From the late Danny Steinman pre F13-5 infamy, this here is high school rape/revenge gang movie set in Los Angeles 1984. You can't get a more perfect setting.

As it begins, our female protagonists are led by Linda Blair, whose nips are the first thing you see. Don't worry, you eventually get to see her topless, but we'll get to that later. Her deaf little sister is played by Linnea Quigley, and it's funny to see her playing such a naive and innocent girl. Well, she almost gets hit by a car driven by our punk antagonists, and here's the funny thing... the gang apologizes and offer the girls a chance to party. The girls respond by telling them off, stealing their car, and trashing it. Who is in the wrong here?


We're eased into a high school setting, which offers a lot of great 80s cheese to fluff out the movie before the main action starts. Apparently, gym class encourages the students to wear the most skimpy of outfits, but I'm not complaining. Then there's the shower scene, which is chock full of titties. There are a lot of titties in this movie. It's wonderful.

As things escalate between our heroes and villains, the bad guys decide to take it out on sweet little Linnea, because after all, she gets raped in a lot of her movies. It's her calling card. Things don't stop there as the gang becomes increasingly unhinged as one of the newest members (who kinda looks like a twerpy version of Al Pacino) experiences remorse and regret, and from then on, you can figure out the rest.


The 80s flair is through the roof. You'll even hear some cheesy anthems to accompany quasi-montage scenes until the violent climax hits. At first it seems all too easy, but then it becomes a cat and mouse chase. I tell ya, this movie has villains that you love to hate. What I really like are the little scenes that are there simply to add character and authenticity. Things like John Vernon playing himself, students fucking with the teachers, and crossbows. This movie has all kinds of shit to offer, so you're bound to like some of it.

#Review

BlacKkKlansman

Everybody ought to know by now that Spike Lee is the one of the most racist directors of all time. Somehow, his movies always end up alright in spite of his awful and ironic sentiments, and this movie is no exception. It's actually kind of funny for the most part, because everybody likes to laugh at white supremacists. Especially when they're all dumb rednecks, which is exactly how Spike Lee views every white person.

John David Washington sports a killer afro and sounds exactly like his father. He's the voice and Adam Driver is the vessel to infiltrate the klan and the progression is fairly entertaining for the most part, but it starts to get preachy at the end before it all falls apart.

For those less astute individuals, the title of this movie contains three letters that ought to give you an idea why this movie was made: BlacKkKlansman


Don't you just hate it when an otherwise good movie turns to complete horse shit in the closing moments? We had a decent 1970s biopic on our hands, it wrapped itself up, and then it turned into an anti-Trump PSA by (in a typical CNN manner) playing footage completely out of context. Yes, the movie was racially motivated by then current events, but the final message was so incredibly forced and heavy-handed that this movie ends up being another piece of racial propaganda bullshit that wants me to feel guilty for being white.

#Review

Demonic Toys

I don't have a terribly high opinion of Full Moon. I love the idea, but I haven't seen many that I would call great. They're known for Puppetmaster, right? And that one was pretty mediocre, so naturally, they had to make an excessive amount of sequels and spin-offs. Here's another. Demonic Toys.

Right off the bat, I notice a standout in the credits. David S. Goyer wrote this film before he was writing A-list movies, and because of this, the movie isn't terrible. By Full Moon standards, it's pretty good, which in regular cinema standards means it's still below par.

The fast-food guy represents the classic tough-talking dude who turns into a sissy in the face of real danger. The security guard was the best though. I just love sloppy inept characters of any type, and this is one of 'em. They could have made the whole movie about him and it would be better.

Different Ways that Los Angeles is Destroyed or seriously bleeped up in films, books, etc

I started thinking about this after I posted something here about the SNL recurring skit, The Californians. Los Angeles is, of course, massively over-represented in pop culture. There is basically no escaping it. Probably more than half of all movies released in many, many, many given years are filmed there, at least partly, and are often set there. That sucks, of course.... it would be nice if more of an effort were made to spread things out, and film movies in more major cities in the US, at least. Or even all around the world.... I would support that.

But... be that as it may. For better or for worse, Los Angeles is the king of movie locations. So, I have been thinking: what are some movies, books, video games, or any other type of created experience designed to tell a story, in which Los Angeles is somehow menaced or laid waste by some kind of disaster, scourge, alien, zombie apocalypse, terminator, or whatever? Just stick to Los Angeles. There are shitloads of movies like this, of course... I know some of us can come up with some good ones.

Here are a few to get started.
They Thirst, by Robert McCammon
I am a fan of this book. Some people might think it's a Salem's Lot rip-off, and that is probably how it got started. But, the author really spent time and effort setting it in Los Angeles specifically, and he stuck in a lot of cool details. It is about vampires taking over L.A., if you haven't figured that out yet.

Lucifer's Hammer, by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle.
The Earth is hit by a comet. The book focuses mostly on Los Angelenos, struggling to survive tsunamis, storms, earthquakes, starving refugees, etc.

Inconstant Moon, by Larry Niven.
A short story, set in L.A. The idea is that there is a massive, terrifying solar flare, which occurs in the middle of the night for L.A. So, the entire far side of the Earth (the far side from the perspective of L.A.) is basically destroyed instantly, and people in L.A. who understand what is happening have a few hours to decide if they can even try to survive.

Them! (1954)
Giant mutant ants threaten L.A.

Night of the Comet (1984)
Makes no sense, but I love it anyway. Something about a passing comet causes everyone who sees it to turn to dust, and a couple girls survive in L.A. because they were in steel reinforced buildings.

OK, I know there are many more, and I'll come back to this, I hope. If everybody can just post one, the first one you think of, this could become a fun thread. Don't even spend any time describing it, if you're in a hurry, just mention any book, movie, video game, or whatever in which L.A. gets really fucked up.

Terminator/space shuttle columbia connection?

I know I repeat myself here sometimes, I think I might be doing it now... sorry. Anyway, I am watching Terminator: Genisys again, and I was just thinking about something John Connor says. He mentions something called the Nacogdoches Offensive, which sounds like some kind of post-apocalypse battle by the resistance against Skynet in the 20-teens or 2020s in the original Terminator timeline.

I was just thinking, I bet they mentioned that particular location because it was where a lot of the debris from Space Shuttle Columbia landed, in 2003. They were probably just throwing that out there, planning to fill in some details later, about how Columbia was destroyed by some kind of attack by Skynet. Maybe an advanced model of Terminator from the future materializing in the middle of the Columbia.... something like that. They could create all kinds of stories based on that, and on the Resistance's efforts to head it off.

Wait, does this make sense... OK, maybe they would say that the Terminator that materialized in the middle of the Columbia destroyed the Columbia, but was neutralized itself during the explosion, but then maybe a decade or two later it was re-activated by a lightning strike, or by some kids playing in a junkyard... I'm sure they could come up with something. This would all be coplicated even more by the possibility of multiple Terminators from multiple future timelines coming back to mess things up even more, of course.

Welp, had to share.