Super Accurate Toy

Saw this on facebook and thought to myself... here's a toy designed by someone who actually knows his shit:

Cannibals: The World's Biggest Assholes

I was just watching one of the very few jungle/cannibal films I haven't seen, called Primitives, and started thinking: Fuck these assholes! It occured to me that every time I watch one of these for the first time, I not only root for the civilized folk to get away, but for as many of these primitive cocksuckers to get killed as possible in the process. What did that guy say at the end of Cannibal Holocaust? "I wonder who the real cannibals are"? It's THEM! The fucking cannibals are the cannibals! Are you serious? Those guys did the local animals a service by burning all those "people" alive. Not to mention anyone who stumbles upon these cunts with their bullshit religion that says it's ok to slaughter, torture and/or eat anything or anyone. Even each other. Entertaining movies. But seriously. What a bunch of unreasonable dicks! Kill them all!

This post is 100% Death Proof

I never held this in a very high regard among Tarantino's filmography, but if I'm baked enough, I'll like anything. This movie is gold.

Sure, Grindhouse was the double feature they put out, but Tarantino's half of it was a double feature in itself. The first half was the more grindhouse-y of the two, and it can be appreciated for the retro grainy look and some dialogue, but I appreciate the other half more. That's when it seems less like a gimmick and more like a Tarantino film, which is all about characters. And dialogue.

Kurt Russell is great as both a charming villain and a whiny bastard. All the cast is, and I still wonder how Tarantino gets A-listers to be in sleaze so readily. The Weinstein guy not only raped woman or whatever, but he was more notorious for raping movies and ruining the director's visions. Somehow, he always let Tarantino slide. He could do anything in his movies. Weird.

Retroactive (1997) 6/10

A police psychologist leaves her position on the force after a hostage negotiation goes south, and ends up an unwitting participant in a time travel experiment.
Pretty good movie, all things considered. I liked how every time she went back in time to fix what went wrong, she ended up making things a LOT worse. Pretty violent film.
I thought Frank Whaley was Matthew Broderick.
Watching "According to Jim," I knew Jim Belushi could act the crazy part, but I was surprised at how well he did with crazy.
Recommend.

Edit: Ever since seeing the Outer Limits (90's) episode "A Stitch in Time," it gave me a whole new way to look at time travel stories. BTW, that is among my top five episodes of the 90's Outer Limits.

Cloned: The Recreator Chronicles (2012) 5/10

Three friends on a hiking trip end up in a house that likes to make duplicates of people who enter the house, but they are superior to the originals.
While watching this film, most of the time I was thinking "What the hell is going on here?"
About halfway through they explain what the hell was going on. It still didn't really make a lot of sense, but at least they tried.

House of the Damned (1996) 4/10

A family moves into a house that has a dark secret.
Kind of interesting film. The basic story isn't anything too original. I did like how after the story seemed to be resolved, the horror really began.
Alexandra Paul did a good job with her part.
For the most part, however, there isn't enough to make it really stand out. Just enough to keep your interest. Well, maybe not yours, but it did mine.

Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)

These may come across as unconventional sentiments out of me, especially after a month of binging trash, but fuck it. Some Kind of Wonderful really is Some Kind of Wonderful.

It's a John Hughes written/produced movie about high school and the prospects of life beyond. It has a strong message about class that probably influenced me more than I realized.

Keith (Eric Stoltz) is the high school "outcast" here, but when I saw this movie on tv as a kid, I always thought he was so cool. Relaxed and conniving at the same time, hard working, and cool in his own right. I always wished I could be in his shoes when my turn at high school came up. He juggled work, school, family, art, and multiple women. Seems ideal, right? Well, my high school experience was nowhere near as cool as his, but that's not the point here. The point is that he was inspiring to me then, a 10 year old looking for a role model in a tv guide, and this movie stuck with me.

I also see a lot of my dad in his dad, played by John Ashton, who nags him a lot about going to college. I always told myself I wouldn't, but I caved eventually. At this point though, I still agree with Keith that school isn't a prerequisite to live a fulfilling life, but it's not about whether he does or doesn't. It's about the opportunity being out there, and only he himself can decide what he wants.

It's a definite coming of age movie with great characters:

Mary Stuart Masterson is Watts, the tomboy who hides her feelings as her best friend Kieth opposes them. Lea Thompson is Amanda Jones, like the song, who Keith decides to free from her social inhibitions. Craig Sheffer is Hardy, a great fuckin' bully who you love to hate. And finally, Elias Koteas is the punker with the heart of gold who gives me vibes of De Niro from Mean Streets. I love him!

Them and all the others are great. They're written as cliches, but the next layer of the script exposes their depth, and that's what life is about. Find the cliches and prove them wrong.

In a way though, this movie may seem like a typical 80s cliche, but it wasn't at the time. It had a message, it said it, and I think it said it very well.

#Review

Killer Sofa (2019)

A woman is haunted by a goddamned recliner. Think of it like a slasher where the killer is a chair. Nobody ever suspects the chair.

More competent than one might expect, downplaying the stupidity and focusing on a slow burn approach that's mildly effective.

Pickaxe (2014)

I first heard of this as a 2019 movie, but apparently it's a 2014 movie that was on hold for 5 years. This movie was mildly entertaining. It's a total F13 and Hatchet knockoff about an old killer who is revived by supernatural means to go on a killing spree, targeting a group of dumb teens at a cabin in the woods.

What makes this movie watchable is the inclusion of A. Michael Baldwin as a new and inexperienced sheriff and Tiffany Shepis as a local drunk who survived the pickaxe killer years ago and went a bit crazy because of it. She's usually reduced to bit parts, but she has a more substantial role finally.

It currently holds a 3.1 on imdb, but it's better than that. This is a 4.1 movie at least!

Bohemian Rhapsody: A Long Review

Rami Malek nailed it. His big teeth didn't even bother me.

#Review