MANDY (2018) is utterly fantastic

"You owe me an apology. That was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life . . . and it's not even close." Those were the words I heard uttered from a dude in front of me, who had also seen MANDY. The man looked rather normal, so you could assume that his reaction was the result of an amazing film that is not for normal people. And you would be correct in that assumption.

MANDY (2018) - Taking place in 1983, a lumberjack (Nicolas Cage) lives in a secluded cabin in the woods. His artist girlfriend Mandy spends her days reading fantasy paperbacks. Then one day, she catches the eye of a crazed cult leader, who conjures a group of motorcycle-riding demons to kidnap her.

Panos Cosmatos is one of the most interesting directors working today. One reason for this is because virtually every frame in his films is gorgeous to look at. He truly has an imaginary handling of color and light, which creates a vibrant and visually arresting viewing experience. The dark ambient score by Johann Johannsson is intense and helps to produce a disturbing, otherworldly atmosphere. The plot is simplistic and the characters are not exactly deep, but I did enjoy the interaction between them, which is crafted very nicely and is far more engaging than most films with this premise. There is some gory violence and a touch of "B-movie" madness to boot. Casting is spot on, with Cage, Linus Roache (as the cult leader), and Andrea Riseborough (as Mandy) being stand-outs.

When compared to Cosmatos' first film BEYOND THE BLACK RAINBOW, MANDY has a more conventional narrative that may be more accessible for some. It's still damn weird though, and not for normal people. I HIGHLY recommend this, and it gets a physical/streaming release on October 30th.

You Might Get Lost (Yeah, no shit)



I'm a pretty big time travel movie fan. Always have been. Even a bad one, I often find at least a little fascinating. Lucky for me as I recently came across one that's not great. However, it was anything but boring. It's like a Butterfly Effect type deal, but not as creative. British film about this poor excuse for a wife/mother. A woman sleeps around on her husband, stays out every night, drinking and getting it on with a co-worker, without a care in the world. Just an irresponsible, selfish person, this woman. Her husband is quickly losing patience, however her young son is far more forgiving. One day, after being late picking her up son from school again, the two of them get in a wreck on the way home. As Arlene was stopped at a red light, she dropped her phone on the floor board, and as she reaches to pick it up, she accidentally takes her foot off the brake. The car rolls into traffic, causing a wreck as well as the death of her son.

A totally avoidable accident, but honestly, it could have happened to anyone. However, this incident is treated like the result of Arlene's history of being an irresponsible piece of shit, but it really isn't. However, this doesn't stop her husband from leaving her, pretty much sending her straight to rock bottom. But what's weird is how random people this woman runs into in public are furious with her and have no problem expressing it. They're all like "Oh, you're that woman who accidentally caused her son's death, aren't you?" Well, fuck you, cunt! I hope you rot in hell!" One woman even walks up to her in a store and spits in her face. People acting like it was their own child that was killed, or that this woman is some known child murderer who somehow got off. It feels like the poor woman is one step away from being tarred, feathered and ran out of town. I'm not entirely sure what's going on here.

What's the solution to all this, you ask? Well, time travel, of course! Arlene is offered a second chance by the Endeavour Institute who can make time travel possible, but for a hefty price. Basically, they give Arlene a pill which kills her but allows her to wake up on her desired date with all memories in tact and a chance to do things differenctly. So, it doesn't take much effort to make sure the wreck doesn't happen. However, Arlene is so grateful to get her old life back, she immediately decides to change once and for all and become the wife and mother her family deserves.

One problem: Arlene uncontrollably kills a bunch of people. First, she stabs her ex-lover in the eye when he tries to convince her to keep their fling going, then, after burying him in the backyard, she strangles her father to death. Unfortunately, he was the only one she had to confide in about all of this. Arlene decides she must get in touch with the Endeavour guy who originally approached her so she can travel back in time again. He says "fuck off", but gets himself killed after Arlene accidentally pushes him down some concrete stairs. Before this happens, he explains to her that she's been reliving memories that no longer exist and it's messing with her brain, which is a really flimsy excuse for why she's been murdering people. Arlene steals the card key from her latest victim and uses it to get into the Endeavour building so she can steal another pill and die again.

Awakened once again and now faced with two sets of memories as well as the current reality. Arlene wisely takes a little vacation in an attempt to not hurt anyone while all of her memories hopefully get straightened out. And they supposedly will as soon as Arlene can make it to the point in time she originally time traveled. She does pretty good this time around as her biggest mistake is strangling a dog to death. That is, until she makes it back home. Let's just say it ain't pretty. And there will certainly be a need for more time travel.

Back To The Future, this is not, however, You Might Get Lost is still a fairly watchable little movie. Especially if you just dig time travel, and maybe not mind a bleak premise. The tone of regret and sorrow offers some extra layers and substance. Although at times, it almost felt like someone really wanted this to be part horror and decided to wedge in these uncontrollable murders to make it so. While funny, this ultimately felt a bit out of place for the particular story. A story that could easily draw you in either way, but an all around inept movie with seemingly not much thinking outside of the box. Mostly for time travel enthusiasts. And maybe for those who like to laugh at dumb movies. 5/10



#Review

The Third Saturday in October part V, and part I...

There's really nothing new about modern filmmakers trying to recreate the feel of the horror films of the past. However, I haven't seen anything done quite the same way as The Third Saturday in October. Many people who grew up in the 80s or 90s, and rented a lot of horror movies, or watched them on TV, probably originally saw a lot of the big franchises out of order. Maybe the video store didn't carry the all of them, or a sequel was just what was playing on TV that night. The filmmakers here have recreated that experience by releasing part I and part V simultaneously, with the intention that you watch part V first.

Yeah, it's pretty gimmicky, but I'm a sucker for a good gimmick. Part I is supposed to be from 1980, while part V is from 1994. They got the feeling of those time periods down pretty damn good, if you ask me. Unfortunately, you do see a drop of CGI here and there, but the effects are mostly practical, and look pretty good, considering the obviously very low budgets.

After his execution, unstoppable killer Jakkariah Harding goes on a killing rampage in a small Alabama town, but only ever strikes on the third Saturday of October, which also happens to be the same day the local college football team always play against their main rival. In my research I found that this annual rivalry is very real. As such, in both movies, the plot kind of revolves around the main characters getting together to watch football. A somewhat inordinate amount of time is spent showing people watch football on TV. That's something I would have definitely shortened from the movies. However, I still did enjoy them quite a bit. They were faithful to the time period, and didn't stray too far into parody. They were mostly pretty earnest. If this was a real series of movies from the time period, it would probably be considered a c-tier slasher series. Nothing that remarkable, but still fun and collectable nonetheless.

Texas Frightmare Weekend 2023

I've been doing this con since 2012, with the exception of 2020. I hope I can get another chance to meet Tom Atkins and Ken Foree. But this year is different. It's at the end of the month instead of the beginning, and it's no longer at the Hyatt Regency in DFW, but the Irving Convention Center rather. I think the issue was crowd size, so the 'convention' center was probably more adequate.

I feel they were a little understaffed in the entry protocols though. No onebody knew where they were going, so my party of five cut in front of a lot of people. There was a huge line for will-wall, too. Those poor suckers are probably still there. A mere QR code can change that obscene wait time?


When I meet any of these badass celebrities, I never have anything specific I care to say to them. I just like get an autograph. That little contact with something a bit more grandeur than myself. Those cult film actors.


It was a cool guest list too, but I already met some of them, so I was focused on the ones I haven't met. Yet. This year's haul of encounters includes:

Amie Donald, who played the main doll in M3gan. Her pricing was low, and she was very nice. I hope she comes back for the sequel.

Grant Cramer, the main guy from Killer Klowns from Outer Space. It's a B-classic. Nice guy. There were a lot of other crew from the movie, but I only felt the need to meet one.

Andrew Divoff, the evil asshole genie in Wishmaster 1 & 2. @der believes I made him sad with my queries. He had ideas for Wishmaster 3 that were discarded and thus factored into his separation with the franchise. 3 and 4 dick suck without him. Also, Spielberg is a dick for undermining his worth and not giving his character any weight in Indiana Jones 4, thus reducing him to an extra basically. It is kind of insulting, don't you think? This guy is cool though.

Bill Zebub. I never saw any of his movies, but for $20, my party received two signed copies of Dick Shark on dvd. Pretty sweet deal based on that title alone.

Ray Wise. I wanted to amuse him with my preferred topic of... FDR: American Badass. The greatest WW2 presidential werewolf movie of all time. He's the man, in many classics.

Sheryl Lee, who was (not) the main character in Twin Peaks. She's in there somewhere though, as a main character with minimal screentime. Lynchian genius we all suppose? Very sweet lady. I had her sign that famous living room photo of high school Laura Palmer. I put all my pictures in a binder, but I might frame that one.

Harry Goaz, who played the goofy deputy in Twin Peaks. Quicker than his character Andy Brennan, which is probably a good thing, even though I really only know him for that one role. An almost stupid role. I asked him his thoughts on Wally Brando, and he wasn't aware of the significance of Michael Cera, seemingly amused by Wally's single-take scene.

Zach Galligan. Waxwork is the tits, but he's petty cool either way. My annual convention accomplice and I watched him in a mildly amusing recent Halloween anthology called Bad Candy.


I think it's weird that there's always problems figuring out where lines start and end. Lots of merch there, but that's not my thing. Lots of good looking women and fun cosplay. I try not to linger too long, because those event rooms can get claustrophobic. I think John Carpenter had his own floor or something. I didn't even catch a glimpse of him. Standing in line sounds exhausting.

Pretty good experience overall, but I forgot to meet Andrew Robinson. Hellraiser is classic, but oh well. And now, I'm going to raise some hell... by taking a nap.

The Endless (2017)

Anybody catch this one? It's pretty interesting! For a low budget movie, I would say this is quite a respectable effort. The way the brothers interact is especially good. Very very brotherly, pretty much all the time.

I shouldn't say too much about it, or I'll wreck it. I'll put in a link to the wikipedia article about it, but please don't read beyond the first paragraph or so. I'll just say that it made me think of, at different times and in different ways, Believers (2007); Nope; Phantasm, and also Mandy, a little, just because of some of the background imagery; John Dies at the End, for the same reasons as Believers.... and maybe some other movies, who cares. Anyway, it's basically about a cult, or semi-cult-like group of people, and you spend much of the movie trying to figure out exactly what this group of people is all about, and whether they are good or evil.

OK, here's the link. Remember, if you want to really enjoy it, don't read beyond the beginnings of the plot outline. Here, I'll just tell you, if you want to just find it and watch it on your own, all you need to know for googling purposes is that it was produced, directed, and acted in by Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead. I have no idea if Aaron Moorhead is related to Agnes Moorhead. Anyway, here is the wikipedia article.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Endless_(film)

Knock at the Cabin

M. Night is back, and better than ever! A group of armed assailants intrude upon the cabin of a small family. Now this family is two gay dudes and a little Asian girl, so M. Night is going there. It's all about that inclusion.

So intruders try to convince happy gay family that the world is going to end, but the family refuses to believe it after all the signs and bizarre shit that goes on. Maybe it's a metaphor? Maybe it's bullshit? Well, one thing's for sure. It's not very cool. For an R-rated romp, they try to go that whole less-is-more approach. Bautista is cool. He has weird wrinkles on his head. Skip this movie.

#Review

Clerks III, 2022

It took 12 years for the second movie to come out. Then it took 16 years after that for the third movie to come out. Obviously, it faced a lot of difficulty getting off the ground, but something finally clicked in the 2020s and here we are, almost 30 years into Kevin Smith's filmmaking career. If you didn't already know, this movie stems from a very personal experience from the director, and this whole movie feels very personal.

I never expected the movie to be so sad. Yeah, there are laughs throughout as Randal essentially remakes the first movie in a very meta way. There's some backstory that might break your heart a bit, as well as an ending that makes this trilogy fairly conclusive. Not exactly what I was expecting, but that doesn't make it any less worthwhile.

Movies about making movies are always fun, especially when you showcase the fuckups, which seems to be the story of Randal's^everyone's life here. One of these days, I'm going to get a heart attack and confront my life goals and finally decide to make a movie^{jerk off even more}. Solid end to a fun series.

#Review

Are you a water snob?

I stock water at work sometimes and there's too many different types. Dasani, Pure Life, Ozarka, Aquafina, Fiji, store brand, other store brand, elctrolyte this, Smartwater that... A six-pack of Core costs almost $10 while the 40-pack of store brand is $5.

Smartwater's motto is "Whatever the choice, keep it smart". The smart thing to do is pay a reasonable price for water, damn you!

So do you only drink a specific brand of water? Are you picky about which water tastes better?

Skinamarink

I made the mistake of seeing this at the theater last night. "Experimental horror" bs. This is quite possibly the worst thing I have ever sat through, and I'm pretty open-minded to anything in the horror genre & beyond. But this was complete incoherent crap.
There's no synopsis to give, because there was no plot whatsoever. None. (I paid to see it and wasn't alone, otherwise I would've been done 5 mins in.)

Tales from the Darkside, season 3

I did this for the first two seasons. Then I started on season 3, but lost all my mini-reviews when my computer crapped out. Years later, I found a backup of some of them, so I finally finished this fucking season.



s3e01 - The Circus - directed by Michael Gornick
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716981/

This was an okay start to the season, featuring the weird and creepy William Hickey as a circus owner who had a bizarre assortment of cliche monsters. A reporter goes to the circus to get a feel for what's going on there, and he doesn't believe it at first, but it quickly becomes too obvious that it's legitimate monsters going on. I'm talking vampires, werewolves, and Frankenstein monster shit. The end is slightly amusing, even if it is completely expected.

s3e02 - I Can't Help Saying Goodbye - directed by John Strysik
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716949/

A little suburban girl suddenly and sadly says goodbye to her mother before leaving her in the kitchen, and she dies. This girl says it and she means it! It's an okay episode, but it plays out as you would expect.

s3e03 - The Bitterest Pill - directed by Bryan Michael Stroller
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716979/

An annoying and erratic salesman bothers an irritable dad and a pushover mother about a pill that increases your brain capacity. Dad thinks this guy is full of shit and gets rid of him, leaving a mess of pills that the son has to clean up. However, being a dumb-ass kid means that a pill = candy, and he tries it, and the result is just as the salesman said it would be, but a bit too abrupt for a 30-minute story that spends most of the time dealing with the salesman trying to convince them of the merits.

s3e04 - Florence Bravo - directed by John Lewis
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716943/

After a troubled history of cheating and mental instability, a couple buys a new house to start over. Lori Cardille from Day of the Dead plays the wife, and she's beginning to hear voices from the previous tenant who murdered her no-good cheating husband. Is history about to repeat itself? This is the darkside. What do you think? It's nothing new, but it's a pretty good episode either way.

s3e05 - The Geezenstacks - directed by Bill Travis
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716988/

A girl gets a new dollhouse under mysterious circumstances. Dad (Craig Wasson from Dream Warriors and Body Double) is the only one who seems to pick up on the eerie coincidences about the dolls and the real family. A paranoia episode that ends up being justifiably so.

s3e06 - Black Widows - directed by Karl Epstein
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716932/

A reclusive mother with a bizarre appreciation for spiders laments her daughter's new fiance. She doesn't want to lose her daughter, even if it's to a decent man, but the spider meanings take on a whole new meaning in this episode. Pretty amusing episode.

s3e07 - Heretic - directed by Jerry Smith! aka Gerald Cotts
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716947/

This was a good one about a greedy art dealer who receives a rare painting about religious punishment. This is also a karma story about walking in the shoes of those you step on, and it never ends well in the dark side. Featuring Roberts Blossom as the inquisitor who demands confessions while his lackeys inflict punishment.

s3e08 - A Serpent's Tooth - directed by Frank De Palma
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716922/

A mother finds the means of making her children actually listen to her for a change. An enjoyable cautionary tale on the errors of frivolous wishing.

s3e09 - Baker's Dozen - directed by John Harrison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716927/

A con-man extorts a voodoo baker lady. She gives him the recipe all right... one he plans to take advantage of in ways you can't imagine! But what is a baker's dozen? There's the twist! Romero wrote the teleplay for this one, and it's got some great moments in it.

s3e10 - Deliver Us from Goodness - directed by Warner Shook
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716934/

A woman is too saintly for her own good, and it simply will not do! She can't be a saint! I suppose it's time to commit some sins to counteract this supreme goodness! Another great episode from the great Warner Shook! His episodes are real standouts.

s3e11 - Seasons of Belief - directed by Michael McDowell
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716972/

This is a Christmas story, and it's strange. Not so much because of the narrative, but rather the fact that old E.G. Marshall played the husband of a woman nearly 40 years younger than himself, and nobody said a thing about the age difference!

When you get beyond that, it's actually a pretty good episode with an abruptly dumb and seriously wtf ending about traumatizing little children for life. A highlight.

s3e12 - Miss May Dusa - directed by Richard Blackburn
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716960/

A blind sax player in the subway meets a lady he's not allowed to look at. I was a little slow at figuring out what the hell the name meant, but it played out interesting enough.

s3e13 - The Milkman Cometh - directed by John Strysik
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716992/

Robert Forster! This one is basically about getting wishes from a mystical milk man/monster thing, and you know how any story with wishes goes. Typically, there's a twist and things don't come out with the desired effect. Damn milkmen, cumming all over the place...

s3e14 - My Ghostwriter - The Vampire - directed by Frank De Palma
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716963/

I remember catching bits of this on tv and not knowing wtf it was until the end credits when I saw Romero's name as exec producer. Ah, the good old days when you could work cliche vampires into a tv episode and it didn't seem dated. In fact, it works just fine here, where a guy blackmails a vampire for good stories, but what do you think happens when you mess with a vampire? Nothing good, that's what!

s3e15 - My Own Place - directed by Theodore Gershuny
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716964/

A guy in the city gets a great deal on an apartment... only there's this obnoxiously tranquil Indian dude who wont fuck off. I can sympathize with the guy for going insane because of him. Then it turns into some social commentary about third-world poverty or some shit...

s3e16 - Red Leader - directed by John Harrison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716970/

The devil tries to recruit a business man who believes he isn't all that bad. What I remember most about this episode is how the "red leader" looked like such a fucking asshole. Good job to the casting department and the makeup guys for making me hate this guy with just a glance!

s3e17 - Everybody Needs a Little Love - directed by John Harrison
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716940/

Two noir-esque businessmen share a mannequin and it becomes this weird lifestyle with jealousy over an inanimate object. Is she a metaphor for an actual woman, or what?

s3e18 - Auld Acquaintances - directed by Richard Friedman
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716926/

Two bickering old witches nag each other about some powerful artifact.

s3e19 - The Social Climber - directed by Armand Mastroianni
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716999/

This one has something to do with haunted shoes. At this point, they may be losing a little bit of steam with these bogus stories. It's not the worst, but it still is a story about shoes.

s3e20 - The Swap - directed by John Drury
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0717001/

A woman has an agreement to be with an ugly old voodoo creep for his money when he dies, so the woman and her real boy-toy plot to kill the man. There's a swap in there somewhere with the old idea of be careful what you wish for.

s3e21 - Let the Games Begin - directed by John Lewis
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716955/

Two entities battle for the soul of some normal jerk and get carried away with each other. Basically a joke of an episode.

s3e22 - The Enormous Radio - directed by Bill Travis
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0716985/

A woman gets an "enormous radio" delivered to her place. Obviously, the thing drives her insane. This seems like a pretty redundant plot device, doesn't it? Some haunted item haunts some nobody.


When you have seasons of 22 or more episodes, you know you're getting some filler in there somewhere. Overall, it's a hit-or-miss season, but it's still a great age for horror. Horror anthologies are great, and I'm glad we had a resurgence in Creepshow (another team-Romero series). Black Mirror is coming back too, if anyone wants an interesting sci-fi anthology.

#Review