The Incredible Melting Man



Might not be the best movie in the world but it difently has the best fat chick running in slo-mo thru a door that I have ever seen.

Post your internet announcements here

I (just now) changed my IMDb username to "SoapboxQuantez8".
I did this in honor of the western, but will probably opt to keep it this way permanently.
This is all I have ATM.

Vacancy 2 (2008)

I watch it every November 1st.
The only thing I like about the first is the theme music, which is quite suspenseful.

In the original, the couple's constant feuding actually kept the film from having significant character development, imo. It didn't hurt that the sequel has a third main character.
This one seem more gritty and realistic, and
by the time Jessica finds her friend dead, there's a vulnerability the first one never reached.
My two cents.

Vacancy 1: 5/10
Vacancy 2: 6.5/10

Inventing new dirty phrases - The Game

I think we should come up with some new disgusting or ridiculous sex phrases. What's keeping us from inventing the new "Hot Carl" or "Dog in a Bathtub?"

So, here's the challenge. One person will start with a random, made-up phrase and the next person will respond with a corresponding meaning to the term. Then offer a new random term of their own, to be defined by the next creative person.

I will start.
You come up with a meaning for this:

"Soupcan Leftovers"

The Official TE Rec Challenge!!!

The time has come... Obama tried to stop us. Putin tried to stop us. ISIS tried to stop us... But when the smoke settled and the bodies were counted and the STD tests had come back clear (mostly), we strong few stood victorious - free to recommend violent, sleazy, weird, fucked-up movies to each other. Twas a time that would become known throughout the aeons as... The 1st Official Trash Epics Rec Challenge!

"But AlcoholicNinja, what the fuck is The 1st Official Trash Epics Rec Challenge and how the shitcunting pissfuck does the fucking thing work??", I hear you all ask.

Well, it's simple really. Each participant will choose SIX (6) movies to recommend for the others. Then we watch all the movies. Then we rate all the movies. This being Trash Epics, I would hope most pics will be of the trashy epic variety. That's about all the rules.

There will be TWO (2) winners: Firstly, whoever finishes watching all the movies first. Secondly, do NOT talk about Fight Cl- ... Wait, sorry, wrong meeting. Secondly, whoever picks the single most highly rated rec.

Here's a list of all the recs with an easy link. My go-to site for this challenge is Veehd. For those without a Veehd account, you need to register before you can stream. If you try to watch without registering, you'll end up with some malware fuckery. Where Veehd is not available, I've listed otherwise, either streaming or torrent.

Ninjz:
The Big Bird Cage (1972) - https://veehd.com/video/4609023_The-Big-Bird-Cage-1972
Deadly Prey (1987) - https://veehd.com/video/4589061_Deadly-Preyl
My Lovely Burnt Brother and His Squashed Brain (1988) - https://veehd.com/video/4799166_My-Lovely-Burnt-Brother-And-His-Squashed-Brain-1988
Lady Terminator (1989) - https://veehd.com/video/4886294_Lady-Terminator-1989l
Goregasm (2007) - https://veehd.com/video/4599779_Goregasm-Attack-Of-The-Cockfaced-Killer-2-2007
The Disco Exorcist (2011) - https://veehd.com/video/4783310_The-Disco-Exorcist-2011-mp4

Renz:
Satan's Little Helper (2004) - https://veehd.com/video/4671998_Satans-Little-Helper-2004
Killer Joe (2011) - https://stagevu.com/video/dlcwuuuknqrd
Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury (2011) - https://veehd.com/video/4644873_Poolboy-Drowning-Out-the-Fury-2011-DVDrip-avi
Spring Breakers (2012) - Torrents everywhere
Cold in July (2014) - https://veehd.com/video/4881345_Cold-in-July-2014-mp4
The Guest (2014) - https://veehd.com/video/4892706_The-Guest-2014-HDRip

Mathz:
Mafu Cage (1978) - https://veehd.com/video/4616438_The-Mafu-Cage-1978
Suspended Animation (2001) - https://stagevu.com/video/aygxtlngmtnx
Blood Car (2007) - https://stagevu.com/video/gspfatbzzvmi
Acolytes (2008) - https://stagevu.com/video/anlqwpvvsvbl
The Cemetery (2013) - https://veehd.com/video/4874751_The-Cemetery-2013-BDRiP
Dead on Appraisal (2014) -

Tromz:
Girl Slaves Of Morgana Le Fay (1971) - https://veehd.com/video/4567227_Girl-Slaves-of-Morgana-Le-Fay-1971-Eng-Subs
Nightbeast (1982) - https://veehd.com/video/4755684_Nightbeast-1982
Scream Dream (1989) - https://veehd.com/video/4783394_Scream-Dream-1989
Blood And Sex Nightmare (2008) - https://veehd.com/video/4526699_Blood-and-Sex-Nightmare-2008-avi
Necronos (2010) - https://veehd.com/video/4725381_Necronos-tower-of-Doom-2010-dvdscr-xvid-flv
Moist Fury (2011) - https://veehd.com/video/4825087_Moist-Fury-2011

Shaz:
Lorna The Exorcist (1974)https://veehd.com/video/4584405_LORNA-THE-EXORCIST-1974-DVDRip-flv-Jess-Franco-Film
Barbed Wire Dolls (1976) - https://veehd.com/video/4813544_Barbed-Wire-Dolls-1976-A-Jess-Franco-Film-WiP-Sexploitation-w-Lina-Romay-flv
Hitch Hike (1977) - https://veehd.com/video/3575362_Hitch-Hike-1977
Happiness (1998) - https://veehd.com/video/2281082_Happiness
Adam Chaplin (2011) - https://veehd.com/video/4825425_Adam-Chaplin-2011
Her Name Was Torment (2014) - Torrents somewhere.

Sethz:
Il merlo maschio aka Secret Fantasy or The Male Blackbird (1971) - https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/5971200/Il_Merlo_Maschio_%281971%29_-_Soft_subtitles__Pt__Spa___Fra.
High Rise (1973) - https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/6441617/High_Rise_%28Classic_XXX%29 - or Seduction of Lyn Carter (1974) - Gonna need a CG account for this one. PM me if you want one.
Pets (1974)
https://veehd.com/video/4548038_Pets-1974
She (1982)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0c25mtS7xmg
Midnight (1982)https://veehd.com/video/4790856_1982-Midnight
Behind the Green Door: The Sequell (1986)https://thepiratebay.se/torrent/6441604/Behind_The_Green_Door_2_-_The_Sequel_%28Classic_XXX%29

Bonus Shortz:
Warren Perso: The Last Aussie Auteur -
Umshini Wam -
Die Hexe - Still searching. Will update when I've found it.

Best of luck, everyone!

#Recchallenge

Artificial Intelligence

I fucking love the Terminator series. I grew up with the first two films almost always in my VCR and I became obsessed. Despite allegations of extremely stupid, incompetent storylines and plot twists being shoe-horned into this Hollywood mistake in the making, I'm still fairly excited to see Terminator Genisys, because Schwarzenegger is the fucking man, and if anything can save this film from sucking a big one, he can.

I gather my intel about this movie from a really shitty, biased source (IMDB's message board https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1340138/board/ ), but the data remains consistent: John is the villain, time travel paradoxes are up the wazoo, the casting for Kyle Reese is atrocious, they just had to add a more advanced villain, and they're still just trying to cash-in on the first two films. I feel like a machine could write a better story. And that's where this thread becomes relevant...


As webmaster here, I work with basic web code obviously. It's simple, but it has a lot of options. I tend to experiment a lot with it, and I'm considering building my own Skynet... or Trashnet... or whatever sounds halfway decent. I really have no purpose for an artificial intelligence, nor do have the faintest clue on how to program that, but it's an interesting concept to entertain.

Theoretically, it would include an interface to communicate (input/output), and its data would be drawn entirely from this site's database. What better way to teach a robot than to have it read from all our lame wiki pages, and media?

The hardest part will be coding it to parse English and understand wtf I'm saying, but it's an idea. I'll probably start this thing really simple, if I start it at all. I just like to experiment in my free time, so if anyone has any input, let's talk about building a Trash Bot!

#Ai #Code #Robot #Terminator

Expressions like "a glass of shut the fuck up"

In the 2003 Dawn of the Dead, CJ the security guard leader says to the character played by Jake Weber, "the plan is, you drink a nice tall glass of shut the fuck up."

I also like the scene in "There's Something About Mary" where the dad says "don't make me open up a can of whup-ass."

Also, sort of near where I live, there is a highway in New Hampshire called the Kancamagus Highway. Based on that, some kids used to have a joke that if you kissed a girl who was ugly, you had taken a ride on the Skankamungus Highway. Girls probably said the same thing, to girls who kissed an ugly guy, or maybe they had their own expression.

Anyone know any other lines like that?

Zombie '90: Extreme Pestilence



As far as foreign language films go, I prefer them dubbed as opposed to the subtitles. Which, from what I understand, puts me in the minority, as most fans seem to find the fake voices "distracting". You know what's REALLY distracting? Having to watch a movie in a language you don't understand while reading the English script. If you think that makes me lazy, then shove it up your ass. I do like a few subtitled flicks, Jean Rollin is great. But for the most part, I try to avoid movies which force me to apply such constant undivided attention. But that's just me.

However, there are some foreign language films that are dubbed pretty badly, and very well might have been better off presented in their original form. I can't really think of any off the top of my head, but since we're on the subject, I'd like to talk about a movie called Zombie '90. I'm not sure if this was ever supposed to be a part of the Zombi series of the 70's and 80's that eventually became the Zombie series. I assumed that it was up until I actually saw it. But there's no way this could have ever been a part of anything besides Andreas Schnaas' insane filmography.

Andreas Schnaas is a German micro-budget gore filmmaker, and is mostly known for the shot-on-video abomination, Violent Shit. Pretty abysmal stuff, all around, and beneath pretty much any of the similar stuff that was coming out at the time. But you can't really complain too much about a movie which features graphic genitalia mutilation. A quality that would be comtinued in his next film. Besides that, Zombie '90 also has about the same bottom on the barrel quality. Fake looking blood and gore, horrible dialogue, no story. But unlike the subtitled Violent Shit, Zombie '90 has the goddamndest dubbing in (home) movie history. These guys either don't care or someone just decided to turn this into some kind of Mystery Science Theater-type joke due to it being obvious that this fim being presented in a remotely serious manner would forever render it worthless. Zombie '90 is alot of things, but I assure you, worthless is not one of them.

Like I said. no story, here. Kind of a Return Of The Living Dead-ish vibe, with an all around quality three steps below that of Redneck Zombies. A plane, carrying a deadly chemical, crashes somewhere in German countryside, giving way to a zombie epidemic. Two doctors go on a zombie-killing spree, in an attempt to end this before it gets too out of hand. What follows is some of the worst gore effects in history. But a whole lot of it. That, bad dubbing, an appropriately bad score, and that'd be about it. But keep in mind. The dubbing IS the movie.

Technically, Zombie '90 is the worst zombie movie I have yet to come across. And one of the all around worst movies in general. Bad enough to earn it a spot alongside the atrocities of Todd Sheets, while hilarious enough to earn it a spot alongside the Troll 2s and Blood Freaks of the world. I'm not 100% on what the original plan was, here, assuming there was ever any plan at all. Or how true this "joke dubbing" is to the original dialogue, is a mystery to me. But the route they took was of course the only way to go. Zombie '90 hasn't exactly earned itself legendary status, but as worthless as it may seem on the surface, it has alot of laughs to offer someone who might be into this type of thing. But keep in mind, I did say "might". 7/10



#Review

Anyone watch wrestling?

I watch WWE weekly out of habit, but sometimes I delve deeper and go through wrestling phases where it's the only thing I watch (if you don't see me on movie forums for a week it's because I'm watching wrestling).

If so which companies do you watch and who are your favorite wrestlers?

Drugs

Anyone a fan? I'm hoping to try some acid soon, myself...