mono

My favorite is that every public clock is five minutes fast on purpose.

Don't tell him that. He'll spend forty minutes explaining why he's not a sell-out.

He said the mall puts benches in the wrong places so old people have to walk farther past stores.

He also thinks radio stations deliberately kill good music by playing it until people hate it.

Since Meat apparently has a theory about everything, somebody should start writing these down.

Today's theory was that the supermarket rearranges the aisles every few weeks so people will forget where everything is and buy more shit.

A large frappuccino and a napkin ought to do the trick. It's not really coffee anymore. It's a lifestyle.

I knew somebody who spent about ten bucks a day there. Every day.

That's not really the selling point you think it is.

What exactly are you planning to discuss? Favorite flavors?

Who gives a shit.

What did you expect with an origin story? You already know where the family ends up.

Give it five years and it'll know what you ate for breakfast.

MySpace at least lets you customize your page and put music on it. Facebook looks like somebody designed a dating website and forgot to make it sexy.

People are already obsessed with Jackass and beating off. We're halfway there already.

Then it becomes a Soapbox thread regardless of where you put it.

That's not really the point. Sandbox is supposed to be stuff that doesn't matter. Soapbox is general discussion where people are going to argue.

We're literally having an argument about whether people are getting dumber. On the internet. While posting on a forum.

Is the internet listening?

I'm sure Meat would appreciate you calling him a martyr. But don't tell him I said that.

Meat doesn't want people kissing his ass anyway. He'd rather somebody tell him he's full of shit. Then he'll tell them they're full of shit. Then they'll argue for forty minutes. That's basically how the store works.