mono

This is probably a sensitive subject for Laurie. Maybe we should stop talking about it.

Yeah, that's definitely a red flag. You give that out only after you get hired on. Otherwise, it gets filed away in some stack of discarded applications full of people's social security numbers, and that's how a lot of fraud happens.

I assure you, we test all discs before sale, and it worked perfectly. As a coaster.

Will you accept a replacement copy?

That's the travesty of the whole situation. Practically nobody knows who Buckethead it. And I'm not just referring to how his identity is a complete mystery. Nobody knows what he looks like, and despite being a viruoso with dozens of albums, I've never met anybody who's heard of him.

Buckethead is supposed to be on that album somewhere. He's honestly one of the greatest guitarists I've ever heard. He makes Slash look like an amateur.

It's all about voting for the lesser of the two evils.

It's two Democrats running against each other anyway. McCain is a total RINO who's never done anything useful. Don't waste your time thinking your vote makes a difference. This is Alien vs. Predator shit. Whoever wins, we lose.

What in the actual fuck did I just put myself through?

You're hired.

Got any qualifications?

I asked him about it, but he started talking about corporate propaganda, how it's not a real holiday, blah blah. I told him the other record store across town was giving discounts, then he said "maybe." Which at the Java Hole means no.

You can try. I'm not saying it's impossible. I'm saying I've watched him argue with someone over a 50-cent cup of coffee, so good luck.

What exactly are you planning to discuss? Favorite flavors?

Who gives a shit.

I did. He came in, looked at it, and said, "Yeah, I know."

Then walked away. I don't know if he was fucking with me or if he genuinely thought it was supposed to be there.

That's the spirit. I'm tempted to write "MEAT KNOWS" just to see if he suddenly develops paranoia.

About a week or two. Customers have noticed and given him shit about it. He still hasn't noticed.

Nothing that'll get me fired. Yesterday's was:

THE COFFEE IS A LIE.

Before that I wrote:

PLEASE RETURN ALL UFOs TO THE PARKING LOT.

He erased that one himself because he thought somebody was fucking with him. I told him Derek probably wrote it and he's been acting all passive aggressive to him ever since. I almost feel bad about it, but not really.

He thinks I'm doing him a favor when I erase it at night. Which is technically true, I guess.

On the days I work, I've been changing the quote on the chalkboard. Just to see how observant Meat is. The answer is not. Not observant.

I figured he'd notice eventually, but apparently the man can stare directly at something every day and never actually see it.

I tried to post "Dirk is a homosapien", but nullfire's system is pretty buggy and cuts off the thread title sometimes. Sometimes the body text, too. It also doesn't always let me edit a post. Sorry if it was misleading, but I wasn't doing it to be malicious. I was just trying to say Dirk is a homo