Facebook had driven me INSANE

Prepare for another long-winded rant here... because FaceBook has driven me to the brink of my sanity!

Ever since the most unfortunate departure of our proiminent users, I've been racking my brain trying to come up with ways to make this place more appealing to potential new users.

I'm not going to lie to you. I've been in a bad place for the past few months. People I'm friends with tend to hate the living shit out of each other, and it's caused a major divide in my life, as well as this site. Coupled with the stress of going broke and juggling two jobs for adequate hours to make ends meet, I am still holding out hope that TE will survive the fuckery of my detrimental existence.

What do people want? Well, as a web developer, I try to figure out what it is exactly that causes people to gravitate toward certain websites and platforms, and everybody seems to go on facebook, for some damn reason...

So with that said, my best effort has been to emulate that stupid piece of social media they all call "Facebook", and as much as I want to, I can't seem to crack it.


As most of you loyal bastards have seen, I do what I can to give people the proper outlet to express themselves here, and one of those aspects is alternate skins. When the Internet Movie Database shut down its boards, I snagged the source code of those boards immediately and plugged in our TE content to make the TEDb https://trashepics.com/tedb/, a near identical visual representation of our long-lost IMDb message boards. Sure, I got a few cheers, but people still quit TE left and right in favor of lesser, non-compliant representatives of the boards. Fuck my life.

On a whim, I tried to capitalize on the random nostalgia of the mid-2000s by creating the MyWaste https://trashepics.com/mywaste/ rip-off. Truth be told, I thought MySpace was waaay better than Facebook. It allowed customization of one's profile page to create a unique page for users, but seeing as how most people didn't understand how HTML and CSS worked, that caved in on itself because MySpace couldn't fathom those contigencies. That's when you'd see people's profile pages that had WAY too many pictures and conflicting elements that caused pages to load forever, as well as scroll sideways for miles. (Ironically, MySpace thought it would be good to make page layouts automatically scroll sideways, and they fell off the face of the earth after that stupid idea).

So yeah... Nobody took to the idea of MyWaste either. Oh boy... So when we lost a cluster of our best users... to goddamn FREEFORUMS, no less... Holy fucking hell, did that piss me off! We ain't living in the 2000s anymore! TE has more capabilities than that, but they left nonetheless, so in a spiteful effort, I ripped off the look of their shitty FreeForums site for FleaForums https://trashepics.com/app/ff/. Clearly, our userbase was already too fargone for that to matter, so I began to sink into a further depression...

Shortly after this clusterfuck, I figured... why not try my hand at Facebook? Oh, what a grueling task it has been...

I tried dissecting the sourcecode of Facebook to make one great big farce of it, but it's proven to be an arduous effort that has nearly cost me my sanity.

Jesus Christ, does facebook overcomplicate the ever-loving HELL out of their code! I looked at their code and thought I'd be able to emulate it in a couple of days. Boy, was I wrong. It's taken me MONTHS to wrap my head around it, and I'm not even halfway there. I tried to make a TE skin for Facebook, as a means of potential new users having that familiarity to make the transition here as easy as can be, but I still haven't worked out all the kinks. Sure, I've been so busy with work, relationships, and simply trying to eat enough that I don't starve, but GOD DAMN! Why is facebook so complicated?!!!

If anyone is curious, I haven't gotten very far in it, but here's my effort for the Farcebook https://trashepics.com/app/fb/ skin on TE. There are a LOT of holes I have yet to fill in, but there's a vague desktop AND mobile presence to it. Learning how fb operates has taught me a few things, and is why we have the notification system. I'm trying to fathom how the comment system works, and that's also given me a few ideas on how to streamline the TE experience, as well as a boatload of headaches.

Looking at their source code, it's a goddamn miracle that Facebook can even load, because those dumb bastards call hundreds of scriptsets and stylesheets when you view their page. If this was the 90s, it would take a fucking YEAR for these pages to load, because as I've said, facebook is an overcomplicated mess, and I've been trying for MONTHS to get this skin working, and it's barely halfway there.

My God... how stressful this has been, and I don't even have much to show for it. I've been struggling for weeks trying to wrap my head around the comment system, as well as the seemingly infinite amount of conflicting stylesheets it presents that end up making each page visit use about a megabyte of data, which is GODAWFUL. I'm seriously surprised FB loads as fast as it does, because the code for it makes me sick to my stomach just looking at it. It's just bad, bad, BAD!


And what stresses me out even more is that this skin isn't even the only thing I'm working on. I'm still trying to restore Johan's old posts, while trying to update our markup system to be dynamic, among about a dozen other things.

So stressful this has been, and I haven't even gotten to user profiles yet. Sometimes, I wonder why I bother, but sometimes... when I'm drunk and high enough... I can look beyond my own self-pity to remember all the great ideas I have yet to tackle... Ideas for content, media, literature, and so much else that my brain just begins to melt when I think of how little time I have to do any of it.

I love horror, and I love trash. One of these years, I might be able to express myself in a way that people might actually see the filth that I've been dreaming about all my life. Some day, I hope...

2019 Documentary Challenge



In the mood for some learning? Then you should make your SPOT below for this challenge.

1 point for any documentary.

2 points for a documentary about dark subject matter.

3 points for a documentary about the horror genre.

1 bonus point for an FTV.

DVD and Blu-ray commentaries are allowed and fall under the same rules, but no FTV point.

This year, we're going to try one small change. If you want to watch a documentary that's less than 40 minutes, you can, but you only receive half the points.

Mockumentaries are also allowed, but they must be feature length.

The Documentary Challenge will begin with June and end with June.

If you need some ideas for what to watch, here's last year's progress thread https://trashepics.com/post/9/197/.

Movies you know you've seen, but remember nothing about

Kind of a weird topic, I know. But what do you make of this "phenomenon?" What do you do about it? I mean, you know you've seen the movie, but remember very little or maybe even nothing at all about it. Do you ever have the urge to revisit it? Should we even be bothering in the first place, since there's an infinite supply of movies to see? (as I type this, 15 new movies just came out.)

For me, the majority of my rabid movie watching was in the '90s up until about 2004 or 2005, and then I kinda got burnt out, got a life (yeah, right), and found other interests. So I find that so many movies that get discussed, like around here for instance, I sometimes remember practically nothing about because it was so long ago. Can my opinion even be taken seriously??

And the older I get, the worse my short term memory is becoming. Even a movie I saw maybe 6 months ago can be a downright blur when I try to recall it.

Are there any particular movies you can think of that you know you've seen, but remember nothing about?

Hey, Trash Epics-ians! I Got a Good One For Ya!



It's only a half hour long and there's some gnarly gore in it. That's all ya need to know.

Assorted Horrors: Stephen King's "Night Shift" (1978)

Last month's Stephen King Challenge put me in the mood to read some Stephen King. Because I don't always enjoy his novels, I decided to go with one of his short story collections, his first of several released over the last forty-one years, "Night Shift".

The book kicks off with "Jerusalem's Lot", a prequel to "'Salem's Lot". It's told through letters and journal entries from 1850, a time when (Jeru)salem's Lot was a deserted village the people of neighboring towns avoided. Near the end of the book is a second related story, "One for the Road". It's set two years after the events of "'Salem's Lot", involving a family of three who take a wrong turn while traveling during a blizzard.

There are a few stories anyone more familiar with the feature film adaptations rather than the writing of Stephen King might recognize based on the titles alone: "Graveyard Shift", "The Mangler", "Sometimes They Come Back", and "Children of the Corn".

I can't speak for "The Mangler" or "Sometimes They Come Back", but the other two are moderately faithful adaptations. Being short stories, the movies had to expand their plots some, but "Graveyard Shift" is still about workers clearing out the basement of a rat-infested textile mill and "Children of the Corn" is still about a couple discovering a town surrounded by corn and full of demented children.

Then there's "Trucks", which served as the basis for "Maximum Overdrive". The main thing "Trucks" and "Maximum Overdrive" share is the basic plot of people trapped in a truck stop while the trucks drive themselves, mercilessly running down any humans who dare to step out into the open. None of the characters are the same, although some of the characters in "Trucks" share certain traits with the characters in "Maximum Overdrive", most notably the (Bible) Salesman. A few lines of dialogue from "Trucks" are also spoken word for word in "Maximum Overdrive".

I would include "The Lawnmower Man" with the above titles, but the controversy surrounding the 1992 adaptation is well-known. And if you don't know, the producers put Stephen King's name on the movie, but it turned out to have nothing to do with his story other than a man mowing lawns. King didn't appreciate that and sued them into removing his name. I'm one of those weird people who think the movie's good and in fact, I prefer it over the story, but who can blame him for suing?

"Night Surf" is worth mentioning, if for nothing more than that King recycled the idea for his other 1978 book, "The Stand". The two stories are only alike in that they're about a virus nicknamed Captain Trips killing off most of humanity. The characters are different and the problems they face in the aftermath of the virus's devastation are different. Still, it's interesting to see where one of King's most renowned novels got its start.

Possibly my number one favorite story is "Battleground", the tale of a hitman versus a box of toys sent to him by the mother of his most recent victim, a toy-maker. Toy soldiers to be exact, which are somehow alive, and their miniature guns are just as real. It might sound like a silly concept, but the story is as brutal as you can expect from Stephen King.

Other favorites include: "I Am the Doorway" (an astronaut returns to Earth with some thing), "Gray Matter" (a bad beer leads to bad things), and "Quitters, Inc." (a man endures unusual treatment to help him stop smoking). There's also "The Ledge", where a man caught having an affair with another man's wife is forced into circumnavigating the thin ledge of a high-rise's penthouse if he wishes to continue leading a happy life.

While I enjoyed "The Ledge" despite it being more of a thriller than horror, it reminded me of the "Creepshow" segment "Something to Tide You Over". Specifically, the husband getting revenge on the man banging his wife by putting him in a situation he likely won't survive. The endings are slightly similar as well. Since "Something to Tide You Over" isn't based on any of Stephen King's stories, I'm thinking "The Ledge" crossed his mind once or twice while writing the screenplay. A few years after "Creepshow", "The Ledge" along with "Quitters, Inc." appeared in the movie "Cat's Eye", another screenplay written by King.

Many of the stories in "Night Shift", including some I didn't mention, have been made into short films, sometimes more than once. This is thanks to King's Dollar Baby arrangement, where he allows students and aspiring filmmakers to adapt his short stories into short films for just $1. As cluttered as all those short film credits have made his IMDb page, it's impossible to criticize that level of generosity.

As a whole, I really liked "Night Shift". There were only a few stories I didn't care much about and none I outright disliked. The great thing about a short story collection is, like any other form of anthology, if you aren't enjoying one story, it'll be over soon enough and there's a chance the next one will be better.

Butcher, Baker, Nightmare Maker

This aired on TCM Underground last night. Unlike most of what they run on there, I hadn't heard of it before.

It starts with a couple leaving their young son, Billy, with his Aunt Cheryl before they take a road trip. This is the last they see of each other because his parents soon die in a freak accident.

Fourteen years later, Billy's a high school senior with a girlfriend and he's a great basketball player with a chance to earn an athletic scholarship. He's also still living with Aunt Cheryl, who isn't handling Billy growing up well at all.

There isn't anything Aunt Cheryl won't do to keep Billy under her roof, including commit murder. I actually thought she might try to fuck him at one point, due to both her words and actions, but things never go that far.

Aunt Cheryl is portrayed by Susan Tyrrell. Not an actress I'm familiar with, but it sounds like she had some interesting roles over the years.

Bo Svenson is an unlikable detective who tries to make Billy's life hell after the first murder. Another actor I'm not too familiar with, although I've wanted to see his "Walking Tall" sequels for a while.

Then there's Britt Leach as another cop. Not a name that rings a bell? He's the toy store owner in "Silent Night, Deadly Night". He's also apparently the guy in "The Great Outdoors" who was struck by lightning sixty-six times (in the head!).

And last but sure as fuck not least is Bill Paxton in a small role as another basketball player and Billy's main rival at school. This was his first horror film.

I just realized that this is a video nasty. In terms of violence, it's one of the weaker video nasties I've seen. Still, it's pretty good. 7/10

The Devil's Rejects

Just finished watching this movie for the billionth time and wow! This is my favorite Rob Zombie movie ever! Watching this makes me super excited for "3 from hell". My boyfriend and I were discussing how it would've made sense for them to make another movie, but after rewatching it I can see how they pulled it off.. plus I just saw the teaser for the new movie & it makes sense!

To me there's never a dull or boring moment.. The brother gives me Charles Manson vibes! I wonder if they did that on purpose? Who knows!

I felt bad for the police officer at the end though..(I won't say anything for the people who haven't seen it😬)

Sheri Moon Zombie is an amazing actress! I love that he puts his wife in his movies! She does a great job at being psycho lol.

I don't know if anyone's posted about this movie, but I wanted to share my thoughts and see what everyone's opinions were as well!

Anyone else excited for "3 From Hell"?

A different kind of Child's Play

Most of you are probably aware of the drama going on between the original Child's Play series versus the remake, which was made without the consent or blessing of the original team. Don Mancini wrote every damn one of those movies, and even directed the latest installments.

Chucky is his baby, and it means a lot of him, and Brad Dourif, and everyone else who's been a part of it, because like 'em or not, they were all probably very fun movies to make, and it's become it's own mythology. Chucky is often included in the ranks of Freddy, Jason, Michael, etc and he's become a big deal in pop culture, even if he is pretty stupid. I think Brad Dourif is pretty awesome though, and he's the reason why Chucky is kind of bad-ass at the same time.

Suffice to say, the concept of a remake while the original creator is still continuing his own saga is pretty damn disrepectful, but it had to happen sometime, right? Be it sooner or later, and it's already happened to most franchises. Several known horror series have had remakes before reverting to the original series, and it's nothing new. I guess some guy wanted a quick paycheck, and we got a Child's Play movie out of it. Okay then... This movie ought to be trash.



So the setting is the same urban type circa Christmas, and our mom and her son Andy get tangled up in the malfunctioned Buddi doll/robot. No more voodoo shit. No fantasy elements at all, with a more sci-fi approach because this robot can connect to other devices.

It's a huge genre shift in that sense, because our killer isn't a living soul trapped in a doll's body, but rather an AI whose interpretations yield dramatic results. If you're up for the change, the movie itself... is surprisingly not too bad.

We've got a few good kills, a decent story progression, and fuckin' Luke Skywalker voicing our friendly antagonist. At the very least, this ought to be somewhat entertaining.

This movie could have easily been tweaked into something else. Just call the movie "Buddi" and change the doll's look and bam. It could have been its own thing. Instead, Chucky was shoehorned into another type of movie and we got a loose remake. I wonder if we'll see Buddi fight the original Chucky in Mancini's upcoming show. Chucky is known for breaking the fourth wall, so he can probably do it.


The greasy janitor chould have been played by Jack Black. As far as remakes go, this isn't the worst. I look forward to the show. Cult left too many things unresolved, because they knew the show was coming to wrap them up. Everything gets a tv show at some point, right? I guess this movie is doing well enough that it might get a sequel too. I find it hard to care either way. Okay movie. Sequel not necessary. The only sequels I need are Halloween 2³ Part 2 or whatever it's going to be called, Three From Hell, and Terrifier 2.

Horror fonts experts?

Is anyone here knowledgeable about horror fonts? I have been looking for one that I saw somewhere once, and can't remember exactly where. It might have been in a horror short film on Youtube, possible a Fewdio... but, I have been looking through the Fewdios, and haven't seen it.

I'm thinking of a specific fancy, elegant, ornate, old-fashioned font, with lots of funky little curlicues sticking out in all directions. It was complex, but not so complex that it was irritating. I think elegant is a good word for it. It might have been in a steampunky sort of sepia brown, but I'm not sure of that. Also, although it had curlicues, it also had some long straight lines. Like, say, the top horizontal line in a capital E might stick out abnormally far, for some random reason. It reminds me a little of Edward Gorey cartoons, but more complicated than them.

Does this ring a bell for anybody?? I have been googling all the words in the last paragraph, but I can't find it.

Movies with good buddy-banter?

I didn't say that the way I mean it, I don't know how to say this right. I have U.S. Marshals on TV right now, on the AMC channel. Tommy Lee Jones's gang of deputy underlings crack me up, the way they interact with each other and with Tommy Lee. I started thinking, that was kind of a trend in the 90s and maybe the late 80s, to have a lot of banter between buddies in a group of people who somehow assist the main character. Think about it. There was U.S. Marshals, The Fugitive, Twister, Dante's Peak, Lethal Weapon 1 + 2... probably others. Try to remember the repartee between those secondary characters in any of those movies, and maybe you'll get reminded of others.

OK, now that I have typed all this out, maybe this is a really weak idea for a thread.... Box, just delete this if it's too stupid. I don't know, I just got thinking about this somehow. I'm just trying to think of any movies with a group of scientists, cops, or other professionals who act as a team working for the main good guy, or someone who we think is the main good guy, etc.