Death Ship (1980)

A happy cruise ship experiences technical difficulties. Probably because it was piloted by that dumb fuck George Kennedy. Only a handful of survivors are left to crawl aboard some abandoned Nazi torture ship from decades ago. And guess what? This ship is haunted!

As the merry band of heroes navigate the ship, it randomly kills them in dumb, psychic ways. It threw Saul Rubinek overboard before he could ever make his war epic Coming Home in a Body Bag.

Fortunately, this Nazi ship didn't account for one thing. One of the passengers on board was Richard Crenna. Colonel Trautman to some, That other guy from Rambo to others.

I fell asleep during the third act, but I'm pretty sure it played out exactly like this: The psychic ship read Trautman's mind and she knew that Rambo would come to blow her to bits if she fucked with his homeboy Trautman, so she let him go.

What I don't understand is how they can even call it an Expend4bles movie when Stallone wasn't even there on the boat with them in that movie. And most of the movie was on that boat. It was Statham and a few other cunts trying to avenge Barney's^Rambo's death. So Stallone never even got to fight the Death Ship, but it was the threat of war that had caused the death ship to surrender because it faced its own mortality. The End.

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