I went camping once, a long time ago. I never knew whether or not it would turn out to be something I enjoy, and to this day, I still don't. Let me explain. The one time I went camping, I was deathly hungover. The kind of hangover that keeps you uncomfortable for a better part of the day. I wanted no part of this camping trip, but my friends made the day's plan out to be far cooler than it was. It turned out to be a disastrous, humid as fuck, Florida day, despite several rides on a white pony, which cured the hangover, and to be honest, was what got me out of bed in the first place. Although this still did nothing to enhance my camping experience. Quite the opposite, once bastard pony kicked me off for the night. A tense, pointless night which included awkward silence, lots of sweating, with no smores or sleep in sight. I'm pretty sure that's not how camping goes.
God, I hate ponies! And sure! I still don't know much about camping, but I do know my SOVs! And today, we're going to explore what I feel is one of the all around best shot-on-video Horrors of the original era. Cannibal Campout. As it would turn out, this is the movie that originally got me to see these things in a different light. Before Cannibal Campout, I wanted very little to do with these movies, just like the other 99.9% of the world. Maybe it was the sweet 80's vibe that drew me in. Maybe it was the always delightful Jon McBride. Or maybe I just appreciate Jon's version of what camping is like. Yeah. Maybe this is how it's done... minus the obvious.
Two College couples head out to the woods for a relaxing weekend amongst nature. The girls aren't bad looking, and one of the guys is Jon McBride, himself. The other one has an unusually round head. He makes a joke about dead babies, which puts his pregnant girlfriend in a mood. Well, I thought it was funny. Jon probably did too. The awkwardness is forgotten when they come across an ornery clan of cannibals who the guys seem ready to take down after provoked, but they puss out pretty quick. The couples lose the bad Deliverance stereotypes and make their way into a nice spot for the weekend. They probably should have turned back. Well, definitely, but damned if that's not some lovely scenery!
The backwoods cannibal family consists of three guys. One of which is obviously the leader, with a loudmouth spaz and masked mute, who the other two call "retard". These three brothers have a mother that's never seen on camera, who has sent her boys out to hunt for food. They're obviously experienced at this, as they stalk for most of the movie, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And once they do, it all turns into quite the gore-fest. In between, we're treated to some damn fine 80's schlock, and then some. Oh, and how could I forget? That repetitive keyboard tune that sounds like it's trying to play Aerosmoth's Dream On, but is too shy to get started. A somber-sounding little tune that makes me think of Autumn. To me, that's what camping should always sound like.This was Jon McBride's first SOV feature, and in my opinion, his finest moment. Filmed in the woods of New Jersey, Cannibal Campout makes it easy to forget exactly what quality of movie you're watching, as it's more worth a watch than most SOVs before it or since. Much like McBride's next film, Woodchipper Massacre, there is a certain aura of fun and relaxation to it all, as if they had all the time in the world to wrap it up. It's believable that everyone involved had a blast with this one. Unfortunately, Jon McBride's solo-directing career would end the next year after he released his own shitcom, as mentioned above. McBride would give up filmmaking for several years until he finally joined forces with the mighty Polonia twins, come the mid-90's. Another SOV story for another SOV day. I've liked everything I've seen that McBride was involved with, but trust me. Cannibal Campout, alone, is enough to cement the man's legacy. However, for me, it's more than just a fantastic 80's SOV. Cannibal Campout, above all, is a reminder of how much more I enjoy camping movies than camping, itself. 6/10
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