Hitchhiking is just one of those things that was once common in America, but is now as dead as the Drive-In. It once seemed like a perfectly reasonable way of getting from point A to point B, but nowadays, hitchhiking is more something one might only attempt in the case of an emergency. An understandable change. It was only a matter of time, anyway. As the population grew, naturally, the number of killers and rapists would grow with it. Today, I'd like to talk about a movie that might make one reconsider hitching a ride from a stranger, even in an emergency situation. An underseen little gem from the 70's, resurrected on DVD some years ago by Something Weird Video. A rapey nerd who misses sis. A smothering mother who is oblivious to her son's damage. A cop played by THE Russell Johnson. This is Hitch Hike To Hell!
Howard has issues. He's a nice guy. He genuinely likes people, and loves his mother dearly, in a completely normal way. He works at a laundromat, he always goes right home to mama right afterwards, he does what he's told, and always stays out of trouble. At least in his mind, he does. I mean, technically, he does since he's never been caught, but sometimes, Howard kills people. Mostly females, and only teens who have the gall to try and run away from home, which breaks their mama's hearts. Howard has sort of subconsciously appointed himself defender of all heartbroken mamas.Some years ago, Howard had a sister who got sick of mama. Sister moved away forever, mama resents her, therefore Howard resents her. I can imagine there's been many tears from mama over the years, witnessed by Howard, making him sad. A sadness which was repressed and drowned in Root Beer for far too long. A sadness which is turning into a rage which can only be dealt with by rape and murder. Yes. Howard has issues.
Howard genuniely thinks everything is cool. When he's not blacked out, he is quite pleasant and always minds his own business. He delivers washed clothes for a living, but has been getting a lot of heat from the boss as of late, because his work is slipping. He's taking longer to get to where he's going, he's even starting to get lost. Which is weird, becasue he's lived in this town his whole life. Howard is clearly distracted. He's taking more and more time to sit and wait for hitchhikers. In his oblivious mind, he probably thinks it's just to have someone to talk to, but once they get to talking, and their agenda is revealed, Howard blacks out, goes into a blind rage, whips his dick out and punishes for mama. Then, he whips out a wire coat hanger and strangles them to death. In his free time at home, we notice that he's starting to crack. Howard is becoming plagued by glimmers of guilt, sending him into even more blackouts and fits of hysteria. Meanwhile, the Professor and his partner put their heads together to figure out the identity of the rapey psycho and put an end to this runaway killing spree.
Howard may consider all these runaways to be ungrateful little cunts. And in some cases, he may be correct. But one has to wonder what a lousy ass town this must be to have so many young people wanting out so bad. Even when warned of what's been going on, nobody will budge. Even the thought of losing their lives isn't enough to keep them around. All I can say is that Howard's sister really should have stayed in touch.A cozy little B-movie, with a deliciously dated 70's feel to it. A good example of a low-budget going a long way. Hitch Hike To Hell is up there as one of the best all around films in the Something Weird Video catalogue. It's no polished blockbuster, but if you like these types of films, it should be difficult to come up with a negative word for it. Robert Gribbin did a great job carrying this movie as the naive, friendless mama's boy, adding just enough comic relief. And Russell Johnson's presence added a certain legitamacy and class. No complaints, really. However, I do feel like we could have used a little more insight into the mother and son's past, showcasing exactly how bad mama could get, and how damaging her smothering ways may have been. Or maybe a scene showing an example of whatever shit she put the daughter through that drove her away. Maybe Howard's portrayal of a sympathetic character would have been more noticeable and effective. That's about it. Certainly nothing that makes it any less enjoyable. So, turn off your brain, have a Root Beer, work on your hobbie, and enjoy! 7/10
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