Can you believe people used to make movies using VHS camcorders? I'm not talking about home movies, here. I'm talking full length features, intended to be picked up by actual companies for actual money. Which implies a fanbase for such a thing actually exists. Crazy, right? Perhaps. And perhaps it's a small fanbase, as most moviegoers can't be bothered with the unknowns and the unusual. However, the 80's gave us a new type of micro-budget Horror. A new low, so to speak. Weird, yet underappreciated little movies which have aged surprisingly well the last three decades, and have also managed to gain cult status among bad movie connoisseurs. Not all of them, of course. Some of them are damn near unwatchable. But movies like sledgehammer, Video Violence and Black Devil Doll From Hell have managed to make their way into the hearts and remain in the memories of us who love nostalgia or complete and utter incompetence.
As the decade continued, the quality, charm and demand for these things slowly dwindled away. Yet, for us who care, there can still be a few decent ones even as far along as the mid-90's. But in 1988, a young guy by the name of Jon McBride tried his hand at micro-budget filmmaking. And the end result was the now-beloved classic gorefest, Cannibal Campout. A fun and cheesy, "hillbillies in the woods" slasher flick, which was and is right up the alley for any S.O.V. enthusiast. Surprisingly, the same can be said for McBride's next effort. You wouldn't think that going by the title, but Woodchipper Massacre isn't really much of a massacre at all. And come to think of it, it's not even really a Horror movie. although, there are deaths. It wasn't anywhere near the original plans, but Woodchipper Massacre is more of a lighthearted comedy which serves as a homage to wholesome, 70's sitcoms such as The Brady Bunch and The Partridge Family. But don't let that scare you off. There's still the woodchipper, after all.
Again. Nothing in this story is of the Horror genre, or even Horror comedy, really. Woodchipper Massacre revolves around a single father of three kids who is going out of town on business for the weekend. Despite one of the "kids" (McBride) being 17, dad calls upon Aunt Tess to look after them. Aunt Tess has no problem helping out, but has no plans of being remotely pleasant, or even speaking without shouting. Which reminds me. Goddamn the noise! It sounds like the audio was turned up too loud, while the smaller kid's voices were already a bit much as it is. It might be a good idea to turn the sound down while watching this one. Anyway, the smaller kids were ugly, but seem nice enough, and willing to put up with their aunt, who is not only loud and unpleasant, but also a controlling religious fanatic. So, no enjoyment will be had, this weekend. Especially during dinner.
All goes smoothly as the siblings do an okay job at putting up with the old bitch until the little ginger kid gets his sweet Rambo knife he ordered in the mail. Aunt Tess does not approve and tries snatching it from him. The little Red kid has about had it with her, and won't let go. A struggle ensues, and you probably know what's about to happen, unless you're an idiot. Yep. Aunt Tess accidentally stabbed herself to death. And as big brother, Jon, enters the room, the siblings stare in shock at what has happened. Little red kid seems only concerned with going to prison, while the sister is more concerned with what people will think, or how it will effect her popularity. Most of the humor is drawn from the fact that the kids don't really give a shit that a human being is dead, but only with not getting in trouble. Basically remaining oblivious of the traumatic side of the whole thing. As they scramble to figure out what to do, it's decided that the only way to get out of this jam is the woodchipper out back. Perhaps an insensitive approach to the whole, thing, but it was an accident, after all. Not so much the next death. Jesus! These kids really don't want to get in trouble, do they?One would think something like this would have a hard time finding distribution, as some might not quite know what to do with an almost bloodless, shot-on-video sitcom-parody, that's not at all a Horror film. Sounds like something that might take a decade or two to find an audience. But apparently, this movie had no trouble finding distribution or a fanbase right off the bat. And after seeing Cannibal Campout, I'm pretty much on board with anything Jon McBride throws at us. Sadly, he didn't keep on going after Woodchipper Massacre, as the whole process was too big of a pain in the ass. Of course, that may have something to do with the fact that he made this movie all by himself. But along with the pains in the ass, there's also the fact that there was really no payoff for making these movies by the late-80's. But that wouldn't be the end for McBride, as some years later, he resurfaced to join forces with the Polonia brothers to co-direct Feeders, Followed by a handful others. But that's another story. As for Jon McBride's solo-directing career, it was short, but sweet enough to cement his legacy as a key part of the shot-on-video revolution of the 80's. And for that, Woodchipper Massacre will always have a place in the hearts of many. 5/10
#Review