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I've been wanting to write about this one for a long time. But the more I love a movie, and the more fascinating I find it to be, the more of a perfectionist I become. And nothing I've ever come up with before never seemed to do this film justice. Blood Freak is a bad movie. But it's not just any bad movie. Unlike many countless others made before and after, Blood Freak has something going for it that would ensure that it would someday gain a fanbase. And that would be the very obvious WTF qualities. There's quite few of them. Manos, Troll 2, Birdemic. There's something about all of them that make you wonder. Was the director crazy? Stupid? Or was it all simply on purpose? These extra weird "so bad they're good" films have been known to be one big practical joke on its audience. However, in the era of the gore film, such a thing was unheard of. Blood Freak is for realz that bad and that weird. It just has to be!
What makes Blood Freak so weird, you ask? Unlike with most WTF cinema, that's a very easy question to answer. Blood Freak is a Herschell Gordon Lewis-style gore film from the earily 70's, which is about a European biker/bodybuilder Elvis look-a-like who's head turns into that of a giant turkey's after eating some chemically enhanced turkey meat and smoking whatis believed to be heroin-laced pot. A pissed off turkey-monster who craves the blood of "dope addicts". And to add to the WTF factor, this movie has a very strong Christian message, as well as anti-drug. So, basically, Blood Freak is an anti-drug, Christian gore movie. A really, really bad one!
We begin with co-director, Brad Grinter, acting as nararator, who shows up and adds his two cents between every other scene. The chain smoking maker of bad movies offers his thoughts on fate and stuff, leading up to his introduction of the cleverly named Herschell, as we see the big guy heading down the Florida Turnpike on his motorcycle. The "pretty girl with a problem", as our narrarator just pointed out, is having car trouble. And the good Samaritan quickly pulls on over to help out. We hear not one bit of dialogue during whatever exchange they may have had, but we're led to believe they hit it off nicely. After fixing her car, Herschell is invited back to Angel's house, which she refers to as a mad house due to the 5 or 6 of her drugged-out, trampy sister's friends who are quietly sitting around chatting and getting stoned.
The drugged-out trampy Ann already seems like alot more fun than Angel, who has now admitted to being a straight-laced Jesus freak, and is already nagging her sister about being high on the pot as well as requesting Herschell to not partake in the fun while he hangs with them. Herschell has no problem with that. But isn't overly fond of Ann's flirtatious nature due to being a gentleman. We then cut to a scene which I'm guessing is later that day where Herschell is sitting around with Angel and some old man, discussing their faith, all leading up to Herschell getting offered a job at a poultry farm.. The God stuff doesn't seem to make much sense to Herschell. But he seems open to it all. But that's not all he's open to, as we find out later. We cut to a scene which may be anywhere from a day later to a week later, where Herschell is cleaning Ann's And Angel's pool, and Ann comes over and offers him some of her joint, and gets turned down flat. She tries convincing him and gets turned down flat. She calls him a coward, and seconds later, the man is high as a kite, laughing his ass off at nothing. This of course leads to Ann easily leading the big guy into her bedroom for a hot fuck session on the dope.After a long, hard first day at the poultry farm, Herschell returns home to Ann already experiencing cold turkey. Due to the heroin that the pot was laced wth, Herschell is now a raging addict, as he proves so by almost beating the shit out of Ann's dealer. At first, Herschell has him pinned down, and as he backs away, you can actually hear co-director Grinter say as clear as day "Get up slow", as the dealer gets up slow, looking grateful that Herschell didn't beat the shit out of him.
At this point, the movie seems to be going in a certain direction. But the next day, we're thrown a bit of a curve ball as the scientists Herschell is working with use him as a guinea pig and gives him some chemically enhanced, experimental turkey to try out. After inhaling the entire turkey no problem, the big guy passes out, and wakes up later that night a changed man. As he creeps back in Ann's bedroom, she freaks out and screams at the sight of his face and head which resembles a paper mache' turkey. As the now mute Herschell grabs a pen and paper and explains best he can, Ann seems to immediately get it and calms down. Damn, that was easy. And in an odd twist, Ann shows a massive amount of loyalty to this guy whom she just recently met, and lets him know that she'll stick with him forever, while expressing concern over what their children may look like.
Ann's love isn't enough to stop Herschell from going on nightly bloody rampages. Searching for dope addicts, this is a thirst which cannot be quenched. One of the many funny things about these killings is that most of the victims give off the same scream/yell. We go back and forth between WTF killings and scenes involving Ann confiding in her friends about Herschell. Scenes which almost seem like their from another movie, at times. When discussing Herschell, it seems as if they're discussing someone who merely gets high too much, as opposed to a bloodthirsty turkey-monster. At one point, one of Ann's stoner pals makes a comment that "He's not Herschell anymore. He's changing". First of all, No shit! Secondly, Ann has known the big guy for a week, tops. How is it that her friend knows Herschell well enough to make such a comment. They couldn't have had any more than a couple conversations. A minor detail, but one of many which make Blood Freak the enigma that it is. Can Herschell overcome his drug addiction? Or does this new dope-blood addiction cancel that out? Either way, Herschell needs help. But from who? You know who! Time to get on your knees and pray, big guy!
If there was ever a movie meant to be a part of the Something Weird label, this here's it, friends. I would highly recommend the special edition dvd which is packed with extras, yet with not nearly enough information for my taste. I'm not even sure how much info about Blood Freak there even is, to be honest. But I do hope for a blu-ray release someday which includes a commentary track. This Miami-shot abomination fits in nicely with the other gore films made in the same period and area. It is a little light on the gore, but far more entertaining than anything H.G ever did. whether it was meant to be or not. Possibly the most inept pre-80's Horror film in existence. It's hard to imagine what exactly Brad Grinter was going for, here. Or who this film was targeted at for that matter. Possibly a good natured attempt to help set the youth of the day on the right track, using their own language.It's been said that this film was a dead project until Steve Hawkes stepped up as co-director to help Grinter get her done. Steve Hawkes' puts on an extremely wooden performance, and comes off unfriendly and super serious at all times. Even when high. Maybe it's just taking all his concentration to hide his obvious European accent that he forgot to put any effort at all into his performance. Or maybe he's just like that. Last I heard, Steve Hawkes aka Steve Sipek was alive and well, and still living in Florida, and has been running his own animal sanctuary. The man claims a Tiger saved his life once during a fire that broke out on the set of one of his Tarzan movies shortly before Blood Freak was made. And he's dedicated his life to taking care of Tigers and other deadly cats. Putting every bit of his trust in them, treating them as house cats. A lifestyle he has yet to regret. But to many of us, he will always be known as Herschell, the big, serious biker with far less will power than he lets on. The man who entertained us in the greatest WTF bad movie of all time. And as for Brad Grinter, well, he'd dead. 10/10
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