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The tit patrol, that's who! * 🌐 âš ī¸ NSFW
Who Cares If We Fail?

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John Waters earned his place in Exploitation/Trash cinema history a long time ago when he made the movie which is still considered the undisputed trashiest and one of the most shocking movies in existence, Pink Flamingos. A movie I have yet to hear referred to as "overrated", or anything other than what it was intended to be. It was intended to be a lot of things, I guess, but first and foremost, Pink Flamingos is simply the movie John Waters will be remembered for. Maybe he's made a few since then that he's more proud of, but the legendary status of Pink Flamingos is what it is, and has probably been set in stone as far back as 1972. Pink Flamingos was magic. It worked, and that's all we need to know. But after such success, pressure usually comes from one place or another once the time comes for a follow up. Pressure to match or top the success. Or atleast match or top something the prior movie had going for it. And in 1974, Female Trouble was born. It wasn't as trashy, or as disgusting, or as fucked up, but Female Trouble, in my humble opinion, is far funnier, and far more mean spirited. And in that sense, John Waters did not let us down.

image Dawn Davenport is an ornery, outlandish hog of a teenage girl, who resents everyone, and thinks the whole world owes her. She doesn't care about school, her future, her figure, apparently, or anything important. A typical rebelious teenager. Atleast in the mind of John Waters. Christmas is coming up, and Dawn is expecting black cha cha heels from the parents. And we can already tell that anything less is most likely going to ignite one hell of a shitstorm, and ruin Christmas for the Davenport family. And now that Christmas has been officially ruined, Dawn runs out of the house and into the cold, with tears in her eyes, breaking away from her less than perfect life which doesn't involve cha cha heels. And after seconds with her thumb out, seeking to hitch a ride, some fat douchebag (also played by Divine), picks her up, takes her to a junkyard, finds a matress, and commences to impregnate the fat bitch. How was YOUR Christmas morning?

image We cut to months later, where a now pregnant Dawn gives this scumbag a call, demanding money, and rudely gets told to go fuck herself. Dawn just goes off and gives birth all by herself, and even bites through the umbillical cord, which was pretty gross, actually. We then witness the next few years at a comical speed, where Dawn has turned to Go-Go dancing, prostitution and burglary, just to support herself and her daughter that she detests and absues on a regular basis. Her daughter, Taffy, grows up before our very eyes into a fucked up, 14 year old crack baby, played to perfection by Mink Stole. Dawn despises her even more by now, and either considers her retarded, or just tells her she is just to mess with her already fragile head. Meanwhile, Dawn has been married to a douchebag named Gator who hates her as much as she hates him. Gator's Aunt is constantly on his ass to turn gay, but he's more interested in getting his step daughter to blow him. But she ain't having it. I'm guessing she wouldn't know how, or might even bite it off. But that's irrelevant, because Dawn just kicked him to the curb.

image This movie is mainly about Dawn's relationship with a prissy, uppity couple, Donald and Donna Dasher, played by David Lochary and Mary Vivian Pearce. They own a salon, where Dawn is their "star costumer". A title never really explained. These two have an unusual amount of influence over Dawn, encouraging her descent into madness, insisting she's some kind of celebrity while clouding and corrupting her mind further with heroin. There's no turning back, now, as any good that may have been in Dawn has been destroyed by these people whose motives are never made all that clear. Not that Dawn cares. There was never any hope of her turning out decent to begin with.

The last movie produced from John Waters' Dreamland Productions. Not the last of his imfamous trash classics, but the last one starring David Lochary, who died of an Angel dust overdose, and the last one starring Divine, which was mainly meant as a Divine vehicle. A plan which seemed to work very well. Besides that, Female Trouble is simply example after example of Waters' obsessions and interests (same thing?). The role of Dawn Davenport was based on certain trashy, delinquent girls Waters had found fascinating back in school. I suppose Dawn was nothing more than his fantasies about what became of them in their adult years. Demented, drug addicted trash with no redeeming qualities. Divine, once again, does a superb job capturing exactly what Waters is going for with this charater. My all-time favorite of his roles. But I must mention Mink Stole's bizarre portrayal of a child who never stood a chance at a normal life, being raised (badly) by a truly rotten human being. Pretty dark stuff, here. But it all just comes off so ridiculous. Female Trouble isn't quite as memorable as the almighty Pink Flamingos, or as good, quality-wise, as some of his newer stuff. But Feamle Trouble sums up so many of John Waters' quirks and obsessions. And really, it's HIM in a nutshell. And much like most everything else the man has ever done, Female Trouble has a strong following, which will most likely become more and more true as time goes on. 8/10

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