When writing about a movie, I usually like to start out by offering some sort of backgroud info, regardless of how loosely related it might be. But that's just not going to happen, this time. This time, I don't know shit. And sadly, I don't know how to know shit. That's because the movie I'm going to tell you about is that obscure. The term "obscure", when referring to film, is somewhat obsolete, these days. Since dvds popped up, that word has had less and less meaning. Movies which were once obscure became easily obtainable. And with even more ways to find movies, nowadays, along with audio commentaries and documentaries, the term "obscure" doesn't get used much. And if it does, it probably shouldn't. But there are a few Horror films left still worthy of this status. Today, I'm going to talk about a movie called Attack Of The Beast Creatures. Not impossible to find. In fact, it can currently be watched on Youtube. However, no dvd of this exists, while vhs copies are becoming harder and harder to find. And from what I've seen, no information exists. That, I find intriguing.
How did this happen? Of all the horrible, boring B-movies that have even made it to Blu-ray by now, and have long gotten their stories told, why has no one bothered to dust off this gem and introduce it to a new generation, as well as the old one who missed out? That's a question which may never be answered. But for now, lets try to make a little sense out of this lost enigma of backyard cinema.
Alright, well, making sense probably ain't gonna happen, but I can try my best to explain things. First of all, I would put this in the category of the many Gremlins ripoffs of the 80's. In fact, this might be the first, since it was made the very next year. Attack Of The Beast Creatures is no doubt the most unusual of its breed. Aside from having a surreal, almost dreamlike tone, this movie takes place in 1920, which isn't all that obvious at any point. It starts out reminding me very much of Troma's War, of all movies. There's no explosions, and nobody ever gets infected with the AIDS, However, we start with some survivors of a sunken ship, barely making it to a near by island. They all get along fairly well, except some cranky old bastard, making things more difficult than they should be. One of them dies, or is pretty close to death. The others take off and leave him, regardless. Later, a couple of them go back, only to discover his bones have been picked clean. This is our first indication that these people are probably fucked. One of them wishes out loud that it should have been the cranky old bastard who died, which seems to hurt his feelings, as he storms off in a huff.
And that night, just as everyone gets comfortable enough to sleep out in the woods, it happens! People from behind the camera start throwing these red dolls at everyone, as they freak out and act as if they're being killed in a violent manner. No claymation, no fx of any kind. Just dolls being thrown and dolls being held while people pretend to be bitten. This happens quite a few times over the next day or two, as the survivors make their way to higher ground, and possibly food or help. As they fight off the little red bastards, they encounter an acid creek. No. Not the good kind of acid creek. The type that melts your skin off. One guy finds that out the hard way. As their numbers decrease, the survivors stumble upon the creature's turf, where they find them all worshiping a giant statue. This discovery does add some unexpected character development to these things, as pointless as it may have been. Strangely, this is nothing that's ever followed up on or explained in the least.One thing I love about this movie is that nothing really ever is explained, or made sense out of at all. I'm sure this is at least partly due to a lack of creativity. However, it really works, as there is a certain mystique about Attack Of The Beast Creatures. Being rare is only half of it. There's just something about it that sets it apart from other low-budget Horror movies. An indescribable tone that can only be found in movies like Troll 2 or Manos:The Hands Of Fate. I don't know if this film was meant to seem as surreal as it does, but as someone who obviously wasn't very knowledgeable on movie making, the director did a great job at coming up with something unlike anything else, before or since. Besides the whole Gremlins thing, of course. But who knows? Maybe this just happened to be made around the same time, automatically putting it in that category. We don't know. We don't know anything about beast creatures. At least not yet. 6/10
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