Yeah. Troma isn't really what it once was, is it? Nowadays it seems like they only pick up random garbage that nobody else is interested in. And this problem goes back well over a decade. Whatever notoriety they still enjoy is certainly not due to anything they've done lately. Kaufman or Non-Kaufman. I'd go so far as to say 2011's Father's Day is currently their last hurrah. Where did it all go wrong, you ask? Well, don't ask me. I'm not here to figure anything out, today. But we are going to revisit a better time in Tromaville. The very beginning of Troma's peak, actually. Before movies like Terror Firmer, before Redneck Zombies, and even before the timeless Deadly Daphne's Revenge. The one that is responsible for every bit of popularity Troma has experienced. Lloyd Kaufman's own Mickey Mouse. This is The Toxic Avenger!
It's just so perfectly cheesy in every way a bad 80's movie should be. Starting off in a New Jersey health club full of dumb fucks, pumping iron to that gloriously stupid song. We notice retarded looking mop boy, Melvin Ferd, who gets under the skin of two couples in a hot tub, who I'm guessing are Lloyd Kaufman's idea of asshole teenagers. The leader, Bozo, almost ends Melvin, but instead decides to have his meltdown in private. Much like many Tromaville citizens, these four are full of hate. One indication being the little game they play, later that night, where they go around running over people with Bozo's car. A pointless, but priceless scene just to confirm who the dicks are, I guess.
Of course, Tromaville is full of dicks. These four teenagers are just a tip of the ice berg. The toxic waste capital of the world lives up to its name in every way. Good people like Melvin Ferd are shat upon, while people like Bozo, and the 400 pound crime boss-Mayor, Peter Belgoody, are kings. Bozo and friends are still mad at Melvin, and come up with a plan to stick it to him once and for all, by humiliating him in front of the entire Health Club. I figure there would have been quite a few ways to do so, but leave it to Bozo to pick the right one. A plan that would change the course of Tromaville history forever...
Bozo gets his girlfriend, Julie, to seduce Melvin, who has clearly never even felt a boob. Well, one thing leads to another, and Melvin ends up kissing a sheep in front of everyone, leading to an eruption of laughter which follows him as he tries to escape the nightmare. Melvin is so desperate to get away from this unexpected ridicule, that he ends up taking a dive out the window, landing in a barrel of toxic waste, which was in the back of a truck, occupied by careless cokeheads. The laughter doesn't cease. As Melvin catches fire, he runs home to take a bath which is totally reasonable, considering. I'm guessing it was the water mixed with the toxic waste that did it, but at this point, Melvin transforms into a green, muscle-bound freak, who we later discover to have an uncontrollable compulsion to destroy evil, which means about 80% of Tromavlle is pretty much fucked.
We are then treated to a handful of some rather gruesome beatdowns. Most probably favor the taco restaurant scene, where the one guy says "always did wanna cornhole me a blind bitch". The blind bitch is Sarah, and she remains uncornholed thanks to Melvin, who decimates the bad guys in seconds, and gets a hot new girlfriend for his trouble. Melvin's first girlfriend. They fall in love, as the obviously low maintenance Sarah comes to live with Melvin at the dump. Melvin has it all, now. A girlfriend who can't see him, a hometown that's getting nicer and nice to live in, and most importantly, a purpose. Although misunderstood by some, Melvin only kills evil, and he is currently working on those hit and run pricks from earlier. However, that fat slob of a mayor is smart enough to know his days are numbered if he doesn't do something about this "monster hero" fast!Never mind the mainstream appeal. Never mind the influence on future Troma and non-Troma B-movies. Simply put, The Toxic Avenger is everything that's great about the 80's B-movie and 80's Horror. A film which represents the decade every bit as much as a movie like Return Of The Living Dead. It's just fun, and fun is what the 80's were all about. However, our fun got pissed on a few years later with the release of two movies that was originally meant to be one. The Toxic Avenger 2 and 3 ruined our lives forever, or at least until Citizen Toxie saved the day, many years later. It's still unclear as to whether or not the Toxie franchise has already come to an end. Although I wouldn't mind if it ended with part IV, as it was a higher note than anyone probably expected. But most of us favor the grittier original above all. And rightfully so. The Toxic Avenger was a special movie from a special time, which breathed life into a B-movie company that probably never stood a chance, otherwise. So, for anyone wondering why Melvin Ferd's ugly mug has to appear on just about every piece of Troma merchandise, well, he earned it! 7/10
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