The old Universal monsters were great. At least I'm sure they seemed like it at the time to all the depression-era folks who got their minds blown by all the Horror come to life. I mean, sure. They're ok. I mostly liked them as a kid, and will always respect them for what they were. But Dracula? Frankenstein? Wolf Man? The Mummy? They have a place. And t's called the 1930's and 40's. But of course, there's Hammer, who resurrected them all for the late 50's to early 70's era. A seemingly endless amount of films that probably should have been a little more interesting than they were, and despite wearing out their welcome a bit, they too ran their course. So, by 1973, who would want more of that? Trust me. You want this!
In 1973, Trash/semi-gay-themed Art Film director, Paul Morrissey was ready for something a little different. Best known for his Flesh/Trash/Heat Trilogy with friend/producer, Andy Warhol, Morrissey would try to infuse his Waters-esque style into a horror project, which quickly became two horror projects. More on the second one some other time, but the first was to be Flesh For Frankenstein, also known as Andy Warhol's Frankenstein. A trashier, more perverted take on the Mary Shelley classic. In other words, Morrissey dragged the legend of Frankenstein into the 70's. And with Udo Kier brought on board to play the Doctor, it seems as though we're finally in for something different.
That Baron Frankenstein is a weird one, eh? Being married to his sister and all. Having two kids with her, even. Plus, he's always in that laboratory with that little weirdo, Otto, who is probably a little too dedicated for a mere assistant, but hey. Good help isn't always easy to come by. And the Baron is sure to keep him in check. Those two rascals have been gathering up dead bodies and sewing parts together so that the Baron can create a race of Super Serbians, starting with a man and a woman, whose purpose will be to mate. These Super Serbians will answer only to Baron Frankenstein. Something about ruling the world. It's a hobby. I guess it's a hobby. It's the only thing he ever thinks about or talks about. And seemingly the only thing that matters to him. That's called a hobby, right?
Dr. Frankenstein is a lot of things, but family man is not one of them. Baron's sister-wife doesn't seem to mind as long as nobody bothers her with anything. Their two kids don't have personalities, and probably hate them. One could say that the Frankenstein's are one lousy ass family. We find out the Baron is a bit of a hypocrite, as he is not shy about showing what a big prude he is. Meanwhile, he decides to test out the female before she's even brought to life. By the way. Is there a word for that? If you make love with someone who isn't alive yet, that's technically not necrophilia, right?
So, the female is obviously good to go. however the head of the male has yet to be retrieved. Frankenstein and Otto spy on a couple of locals who aim to get their dicks wet at the local brothel. One of them seems to be tearing them all up pretty good. Due to a misunderstanding, Frankenstein and Otto ambush and remove the head of the wrong guy. And when I say "wrong", I mean asexual, or possibly a repressed homo. We don't really get to know him well enough to tell.
The one whose life was spared would have served them well, though. Nicholas is all about the poon. A very out of place character played by Morrissey regular, Joe Dallesandro. Joe isn't happy to find his buddy's head missing when he wakes up the next morning. Nobody needs that shit AND a hangover. Joe is determined to solve this mystery, or at least slightly motivated, but in typical Joe fashion, he is distracted by an affair he stumbles upon with Baroness Frankenstein. He tries getting her to help, but she doesn't care. After stumbling upon the laboratory, Joe very well may figure something out, this time. Oh, and yeah. The Super Serbians aren't ever going to fuck. The Baron is not pleased. This makes Otto sad.And there you have it. The perfect 70's B-Horror flick. Gore, nudity, all kinds of perversion, atmosphere, beautiful score, beautiful location. Just beautiful! Considering the hit or miss, John Waters-light, career that Paul Morrissey had going, this was no doubt shockingly good to many who originally saw it. The 3D gimmick was also probably a welcomed quality. Monique van Vooren added a touch of weirdness that didn't go unnoticed. The idea of a married brother and sister, who have no interest in one another, is a bit which never gets old. And Joe... well, he's definitely Joe. Nothing can take that away from him. Apparently, he figured his acting in past Morrissey films was adequate, as it certainly hasn't improved since Andy Warhol's Trash. My favorite part of this movie has always been the assistant, Otto, played by Arno Juerging. We never really find out what his deal is, but I'd be willing to bet he's the sickest fuck of them all. If you like good Horror, if you like bad Horror, if you like anything at all in this world, you'll love this movie. Promise! 9/10
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