John Waters earned his place in Exploitation/Trash cinema history a long time ago when he made the movie which is still considered the undisputed trashiest and one of the most shocking movies in existence, Pink Flamingos. A movie I have yet to hear referred to as "overrated", or anything other than what it was intended to be. It was intended to be a lot of things, I guess, but first and foremost, Pink Flamingos is simply the movie John Waters will be remembered for. Maybe he's made a few since then that he's more proud of, but the legendary status of Pink Flamingos is what it is, and has probably been set in stone as far back as 1972. Pink Flamingos was magic. It worked, and that's all we need to know. But after such success, pressure usually comes from one place or another once the time comes for a follow up. Pressure to match or top the success. Or atleast match or top something the prior movie had going for it. And in 1974, Female Trouble was born. It wasn't as trashy, or as disgusting, or as fucked up, but Female Trouble, in my humble opinion, is far funnier, and far more mean spirited. And in that sense, John Waters did not let us down.
Dawn Davenport is an ornery, outlandish hog of a teenage girl, who resents everyone, and thinks the whole world owes her. She doesn't care about school, her future, her figure, apparently, or anything important. A typical rebelious teenager. Atleast in the mind of John Waters. Christmas is coming up, and Dawn is expecting black cha cha heels from the parents. And we can already tell that anything less is most likely going to ignite one hell of a shitstorm, and ruin Christmas for the Davenport family. And now that Christmas has been officially ruined, Dawn runs out of the house and into the cold, with tears in her eyes, breaking away from her less than perfect life which doesn't involve cha cha heels. And after seconds with her thumb out, seeking to hitch a ride, some fat douchebag (also played by Divine), picks her up, takes her to a junkyard, finds a matress, and commences to impregnate the fat bitch. How was YOUR Christmas morning?
We cut to months later, where a now pregnant Dawn gives this scumbag a call, demanding money, and rudely gets told to go fuck herself. Dawn just goes off and gives birth all by herself, and even bites through the umbillical cord, which was pretty gross, actually. We then witness the next few years at a comical speed, where Dawn has turned to Go-Go dancing, prostitution and burglary, just to support herself and her daughter that she detests and absues on a regular basis. Her daughter, Taffy, grows up before our very eyes into a fucked up, 14 year old crack baby, played to perfection by Mink Stole. Dawn despises her even more by now, and either considers her retarded, or just tells her she is just to mess with her already fragile head. Meanwhile, Dawn has been married to a douchebag named Gator who hates her as much as she hates him. Gator's Aunt is constantly on his ass to turn gay, but he's more interested in getting his step daughter to blow him. But she ain't having it. I'm guessing she wouldn't know how, or might even bite it off. But that's irrelevant, because Dawn just kicked him to the curb.
This movie is mainly about Dawn's relationship with a prissy, uppity couple, Donald and Donna Dasher, played by David Lochary and Mary Vivian Pearce. They own a salon, where Dawn is their "star costumer". A title never really explained. These two have an unusual amount of influence over Dawn, encouraging her descent into madness, insisting she's some kind of celebrity while clouding and corrupting her mind further with heroin. There's no turning back, now, as any good that may have been in Dawn has been destroyed by these people whose motives are never made all that clear. Not that Dawn cares. There was never any hope of her turning out decent to begin with.The last movie produced from John Waters' Dreamland Productions. Not the last of his imfamous trash classics, but the last one starring David Lochary, who died of an Angel dust overdose, and the last one starring Divine, which was mainly meant as a Divine vehicle. A plan which seemed to work very well. Besides that, Female Trouble is simply example after example of Waters' obsessions and interests (same thing?). The role of Dawn Davenport was based on certain trashy, delinquent girls Waters had found fascinating back in school. I suppose Dawn was nothing more than his fantasies about what became of them in their adult years. Demented, drug addicted trash with no redeeming qualities. Divine, once again, does a superb job capturing exactly what Waters is going for with this charater. My all-time favorite of his roles. But I must mention Mink Stole's bizarre portrayal of a child who never stood a chance at a normal life, being raised (badly) by a truly rotten human being. Pretty dark stuff, here. But it all just comes off so ridiculous. Female Trouble isn't quite as memorable as the almighty Pink Flamingos, or as good, quality-wise, as some of his newer stuff. But Feamle Trouble sums up so many of John Waters' quirks and obsessions. And really, it's HIM in a nutshell. And much like most everything else the man has ever done, Female Trouble has a strong following, which will most likely become more and more true as time goes on. 8/10
#Review
Amy Blue and Jordan White (played by Rose McGowan and James Duval) are an 18 year old couple who are as different as night and day. Amy is a hot-tempered meth head. An ornery little bitch who wouldn't think twice about kicking someone's ass. Jordan is a typical movie stoner. Kind of peaceful. Actually a pretty chillin' guy. But an idiot just the same. Despite being so different, the two teens are totally in love. And one night in Amy's car out in a parking lot, the two are finally about to get it on for the first time until a young drifter named Xavier Red gets thrown on Amy's car and is quickly beaten and stabbed by a pissed off bunch of people for a reason that is never explained. Xavier jumps in the car and quickly recommends Amy get them out of there, which immediately starts an arguement between the two, and lasts up until the point when Amy kicks him out a peace down the road. Soon after that, Amy and Jordan head to a convenience store for some food, only to be held at gun point by a psychotic clerk after they forgot their money. Seconds away from being blown to hell, Xavier jumps out of nowhere and saves the day, accidentally blowing the clerk's head clean off. A head which insists on talking shit to them even after being blown off. The three hightail it.
Not taking a second to realize how possible it would have been to explain things to the authorities, Amy and Jordan immediately become fugitives, along with their new friend, whom Amy still despises. Although, once he whips his dick out in a motel one night after Jordan falls asleep, Amy starts to warm up to him a little, and they soon become lovers, which Xavier isn't shy about discussing in front of Jordan, who honestly seems to not give a shit. Or is just that nice of a guy. Everywhere the three go, chaos follows. Xavier either kills someone (in self defense), or one of Amy's psychotic ex-lovers spots her and tries to make trouble for them. Amy always insists these people are crazy, but it's never confirmed whether she was lying or not. Despite being a bit of a psycho, Xavier seems to be a pretty swell guy, at times. Despite that, he is very much poison to these two aimless teens. Despite what his true motives may or may not be, Xavier is very much the Serpent to their Adam and Eve. And the longer they keep running aimlessly with this snake, the closer they come to their own destruction. But you just know they're all going to find a way to fit in a threesome before anything major goes down, which is what the whole movie seems to be leading towards.
The three, young up and coming actors is what makes this stupid movie not so stupid, and very much watchable, I remember thinking, when watching this for the first time, what a cool character James Duval's Jordan was. Not unlike Jeff Spicoli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and that other long-haired guy from Dazed And Confused. Being older, now, this guy just seems more like a dumbass little pussy, which is actually more entertaining, now that I think about it. Rose McGowan's character, Amy Blue, is that of a hateful little bitch. A person I'd probably not want to be associated with in real life. But even now, this is by far my favorite of all her roles. She does have something special about her, and watching Rose in this, it's clear she has a bright future post-Doom Generation. And Johnathon Schaech (Xavier) would of course move on to much bigger things as well. Namely, a marriage to Christina Applegate. Enough said, there.
Herschell's "This is a business, not art" outlook on directing is heard loud and clear throughout the entirety of this obnoxious, substance-lacking, cheeze-fest. None of his movies are meant for superior brains. But this one especially seems like it's intended for only the most dimwitted of trash lovers. A bit of a precursor, if not inspiration for the modern Troma film. And of course, a pretty simple story. Strippers at a sleazy club have been getting slaughtered by a maniac at an alarming rate. A hot reporter enlists the help of private eye, Abraham Gentry, who is supposedly good enough to be a total douchebag at all times and get away with it. The douchier he gets, the more the reporter wants to blow him. Uninterested and unimpressed with pretty much everything but himself, and only concerned with getting paid, the douchebag tries losing her several times. Even going so far as to get her wasted so she'll fuck off, but this tenacious lady wants some of that, and hopes to help in this investigation if at all possible. Meanwhile, we are treated to some rather inventive murders, one of which includes the killer snipping off the tips of a woman's nipples, and filling up 2 glasses with milk. One of which comes out chocolatey. Of course it does...
While I consider this to be Herschell Gordon Lewis' most overrated (gore) film, I can understand why so many considers this the ultimate in HGL gore. Sure, it's got alot of that. And it's a little harsher than usual, and there's a noticable bit of puns, toilet humor and a self awareness not present in Herschell's earlier gore epics. Sounds great. It really does, but something about this movie just rubs me the wrong way. The shit acting, I can of course handle. But the dialogue seems to have been written by a blithering idiot, and the characters, as well as the actors themselves, were far from likable. Especially that main character, Abraham Gentry. A smartass dick smoker with a snarky one liner waiting every 10 seconds. A character seemingly meant to be a smooth, pimp daddy who is far too badass to give this hot chick the time of day. Whoever wrote this garbage obviously didn't realize they were making this guy out to be more of a homo than anything else. But such stupidity does add a couple of "so bad it's good" cool points. That, along with the unusually painful looking kills, make this one far from unwatchable.
After a chemical plant accident unleashes a deadly virus on the world, a SWAT team heads to New Guinea to investigate. What they find is walking corpses. But shortly after running into a hot reporter, they're all taken in by a primitive tribe when she gets naked for them and puts on a little face paint. These scenes which involve said tribe kind of makes this a cannibal movie as well as a zombie flick. Just sayin'. The jungle hospitality is short-lived as the living dead make their presence known after eating several cannibals. As the group ditches their new friends, they make their way through a very stock footage-filled jungle, taking an unusual amount of time to figure out that shooting zombies in the head is the only way to kill them. One guy either already insane, or getting there due to all this madness, sees fit to have a little fun with the extra slow-moving ghouls, and tease them, obviously setting up for the moment it all blows up in his face. As this group gets closer to salvation, they also get closer to finding out the truth behind all this. Knowledge they may soon regret learning.
Alot of fuss gets made over Lucio Fulci's Zombi 2, which is a sequel to nothing, by the way. While this one here hasn't gotten a fraction of the appreciation as well as the legendary status that it deserves. I'm not sure what makes that other one so great, other than who directed it. Not that Fulci was all that great, himself. But Bruno Mattei isn't quite as respected in his field, as he's known for nothing but trash, as opposed to Fulci, who put out some classy stuff, early on. but Mattei already earned my respect with such mean-spirited exploitation cheese-fests as Women's Prison Massacre and Rats: Night Of Terror. Both bad, both entertaining. But this trash epic takes the cake.
Set in 1957, New Zealand. This film involves a young man named Lionel, his controlling old mum who keeps him under her thumb, and his new love interest, Paquita, who falls for Lionel at first sight, which ends up creating quite the shit storm. Paquita practically pushes herself on Lionel right off the bat, and practically tricks him into asking her on a day date to the Zoo. Mum is not pleased by the news of her son's first date, and in what would prove to be a very stupid move, the old bitch follows them in order to spy on their happiness. Blind with anger, mum doesn't look where she's going, and gets too close to a cage containing a very dangerous creature. A vicious little bastard rat-Monkey. A species supposedly conceived by rat on monkey rape. Mum, of course, gets bit. Lionel immediately recognizes her screams and ditches his date to take his poor mum home, where she milks this "tragedy" for all it's worth. She gets waited on, hand and foot. Mum once again has her son's undivided attention.
One problem (aside from the obvious). Mum isn't getting any better. In fact she's getting worse. Much worse. Lionel's mum is starting to look almost like a dead person. And she's starting to act like someone else. Or something else. Mum now seems downright monstrous by this point. She does eventually die. But returns from the grave a full fledged member of the living dead, courtesy of rat-monkey. Not sure where to go from here, Lionel does all he can do to hide this from everyone they know. Even Paquita, whom he coldly blows off. Instead of putting his undead mum down, Lionel continues doing what he does best. Look after the old bitch at all costs. Mum kills a few people, Lionel takes them in, and looks after them all, which leads to some truly ridiculous situations, as well as one hell of a blood bath like you've never seen. All leading towards Lionel finally gaining his independence.
More widely known as Brain Dead, Dead Alive is not only the goriest film you'll ever see, but also one of the most fun zombie flicks out there, that could easily rival that of Return Of The Living Dead. A little slapstick here and there, but not enough to make it dumb. While Dead Alive is a gore film, a zombie film, and a Horror-Comedy, it's also the inspirational story of a man who has been forced to stay a boy for far too long by a repressive parent, and somehow, finds the inner strength to finally make some major decisions, grow up, and break away to find happiness. It's just all buried underneath some rather unusual circumstances. Considering that, and the fact that all of this is set in the 1950's, makes Dead Alive one very unique gore-fest. I've seen many gory movies and plenty of films far more disturbing than this, but seeing Dead Alive as a teenager more or less ruined the shock value of the August Undergrounds and the Slaughtered Vomit Dolls of the next decade. Unfortunate, but that's life if you're a gorehound.
Andreas Schnaas is a German micro-budget gore filmmaker, and is mostly known for the shot-on-video abomination, Violent Shit. Pretty abysmal stuff, all around, and beneath pretty much any of the similar stuff that was coming out at the time. But you can't really complain too much about a movie which features graphic genitalia mutilation. A quality that would be comtinued in his next film. Besides that, Zombie '90 also has about the same bottom on the barrel quality. Fake looking blood and gore, horrible dialogue, no story. But unlike the subtitled Violent Shit, Zombie '90 has the goddamndest dubbing in (home) movie history. These guys either don't care or someone just decided to turn this into some kind of Mystery Science Theater-type joke due to it being obvious that this fim being presented in a remotely serious manner would forever render it worthless. Zombie '90 is alot of things, but I assure you, worthless is not one of them.
Like I said. no story, here. Kind of a Return Of The Living Dead-ish vibe, with an all around quality three steps below that of Redneck Zombies. A plane, carrying a deadly chemical, crashes somewhere in German countryside, giving way to a zombie epidemic. Two doctors go on a zombie-killing spree, in an attempt to end this before it gets too out of hand. What follows is some of the worst gore effects in history. But a whole lot of it. That, bad dubbing, an appropriately bad score, and that'd be about it. But keep in mind. The dubbing IS the movie.
For 20 years, the Capulets and the Qs have been at eachother's throats. A feud that started between Monty Q and his former friend, Cap Capulet. They once owned a softcore film company together, and soon become rivals once Cap Stole the business out from under him, as well as his wife. Monty, now a babbling drunk, living in poverty, he, his son, Tromeo, his cousin, Benny, and their overly confrontational friend, Murray, are now in the middle of a deadly family feud with these arrogant, perverse Capulets. An encounter with any of these people can escalate at a ridiculous rate. Otherwise, the Q family and their friend are pretty easy going. However, Tromeo is the ladies man of the group, but makes a habit of ending up with chicks who shit on his good nature. However, when he meets Juliet at a costume ball, it's love at first sight. Unfortunately, she's the one Capulet he's never met. Her father, Cap, has always kept her on a short leash, to say the least. Later that night, Tromeo sneaks in the Capulet house, and finds Juliet locked in a glass case. The 19 year old is being punished for having a wet dream by her father who often watches her sleep. Cap is a drunken, wife beating pervert who has promised the vegetarian Juliet to a billionare who owns a meat company. A high strung tool whom she has very little affection for. This, however, doesn't discourage Tromeo, as he quickly proposes, which would end any chance of this farce of a marriage from happening, as well as any chance of Cap gaining a billionare son-in-law. As this 20 year long feud rages on, and Cap catching wind of this new marriage, the shit is finally about to hit the fan.
Unlike every movie Lloyd Kaufman made before or since, Tromeo And Juliet does lack a bit of the goofy humor he normally applies. And I think easing up for once was the right decision. Regardless of whether it was his decision or not And let's not forget this movie has some damn fine actors. And not to mention James Gunn's genius script. Just a lot of good decisions all around. I don't claim to know anything, but I'd tend to give Mr. Gunn more credit for this accomplishment than Lloyd, as this is clearly unlike anything Kaufman ever did, and probably ever will do, again. Tromeo And Juliet is hip. It's unique, and could possibly be taken seriously by a non-Troma fan. A movie I could easily see gaining more mainstream appeal than the ones that were actually meant to. There's still plenty of Kaufman's signature slapstick in this, and shout outs to his past movies, like a Toxic Avenger Part II poster on Tromeo's bedroom wall. Nothing wrong with that. There's also a a strong anti-meat message going on, here, that I can only assume is the PETA-friendly Lloyd's doing. It works well, though. Juliet's fiance, London Arbuckle, is one of the most entertaining characters in the movie. And then there's the penis monster, decapitations and other dismemberments, freaks, perverts, incest, and some pretty hot fuckin'. All the while, dialing the silliness back a notch, Kaufman went all out in every other direction.
So, this writer, Jennifer Hills, is traveling from the big city out into the sticks to write her new book. If not for a retard named Matthew, she mght have actually gotten somewhere. Matthew is a grocery delivery boy, and when delivering Jennifer's groceries, he develops a crush on the semi-flirty Jennifer. Nothing wrong with that, but after bragging to a bunch of ass holes at the gas station that he saw her tits, these Connecticut rednecks get all riled up about pussy, and get all up in Matthew's shit about being a virgin. And before we know it, a raping has been planned. A raping which is supposedly meant to rid Matthew of the burden that is his virginity. Wow! For a bunch of dicks who clearly hate Matthew, they sure are going all out, just so he can get his dick wet. But as we suspected, these good 'ol boys are planning on making a day of it. But virgins first, as they say..
I look at I Spit On Your grave in two different ways. One, overrated as an extreme film. And two, a film undeserving of much of the hate it's gotten in the past. Again, because it's not really THAT extreme. Sure. It is pretty harsh, at times. There is a 22 minute rape scene which the entire movie is based on, but it's off and on, and isn't all that graphic. One of the revenge scenes is arguably more disturbing. This film was once condemned to no end by critics who saw the film as nothing but an evil story with no moral, told from the rapist's point of view, with no self awareness. Obviously, nothing could be farther from the truth, as the men who raped Jennifer were portrayed as nothing more than obnoxious and ignorant. Besides also being a bit of an "Evil hicks vs. city slicker" Horror flick that was so popular in the 70's, I Spit On Your grave is a women's lib movie at its core. And the original title of Day Of The Woman is a good indication of that. Maybe the hate this movie has gotten had something to do with the unpleasant retitle, which sort of made this movie into something it was never meant to be. But what I Spit On Your Grave is, is a success. It's harsh, it's raw, and like Jennifer Hills, it doesn't give a fuck. 6/10
Filmed in England, and directed by Spanish filmmaker, José Ramón Larraz. Vampyres begins with two beautiful women getting ready to get it on in an old rundown mansion, until an unseen assailant creeps in and blows them both to hell for an unknown reason. It is not clear as to how this made them come back as vampires, later on. Or maybe they were already and were unphased by the bullets. I don't know. They looked pretty dead to me. Perhaps this scene was supposed to be after the story in which we're about to see. We don't know. But we then begin sometime before or after these events. Longtime Companions, and lovers, Fran and Mirian roam the English countryside, hitching rides from men who might be in the mood for a little action, only to lure them back to their lair for a little softcore fucking, with the occasional threesome. And of course, the inevitable blood drinking for dessert. Anyone who falls for this trick is a gonner.
Fran, the hot brunette, takes a shining to her most recent find, as well as his cock. But mostly his blood. Instead of killing him right away like she usually does, she decides to play with him for a while and savor the experience, despite the pretty blonde, Miriam, advising her against it. Fran keeps him alive far longer than she should, draining him slowly. She leaves him weak enough so that he can't leave the bedroom during the day when she sleeps. And at night, she returns for more blood and cock, with a little lesbian action here and there with Miriam's assistance. Fran and Miriam have guests over often whom they drink wine and get it on with, Always resulting in said guests getting drained of all blood and cast aside for the next unfortunates to come along so the vampyres can maintain their unholy existence. All the while, keeping that same poor, dying guy around for those rainy nights. If Fran doesn't listen to Miriam soon, they both may live to regret it.
Alan is a ridiculous sack of fat shit with serious anger issues and an apparent fear of bathing, or changing clothes. A whiny spaz who allegedly has mental problems, and milks this for all it's worth to get sympathy. He gets picked on mercilessly by his peers to the point that you might feel sorry for him. But then he turns around and does the same to the smaller kids. And is a complete dick to the authority figures who could otherwise be on his side. But nobody cares about Alan's fat ass. And within the first minute of watching him in action, you can't really blame them. As unhappy as he is at camp Manabe, Alan is stuck here for the Summer. He seems to take great pleasure in tormenting those smaller than him, yet, one could easily picture him going on a killing spree once the tables are turned. That's what this movie mainly is. Just one teaser after the other. Is Alan insane or simply misunderstood? Does it even matter? No, it does not. We are treated to a few inventive murders between Alan's tantrums. So, there is a killer amongst all this stupidity, which doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. It's painfully obvious who is doing this, but then we keep on going back to the fat kid. Insane or misunderstood? Again. Doesn't matter.
I'm sure most people find the Alan character a confusing one. And most likely, an infuriating one. Especially if you were hoping for a sequel where Felissa Rose is the main attraction. I'll admit, it does take alot of nerve to pull something like this after making fans wait decades for the real sequel. Like it or not, this one's it. But I think I get what Robert Hilzik was going for with this kid. Alan is a parody of the idea that the kid that gets picked on could one day snap and kill everybody. It's all just done in a completely outlandish manner. And while I think it was a great idea that was done very well, at times, Hilzik seemed to neglect every other aspect of the story. and the movie, as a whole, turned out pretty bad. At times, It seemed as though Hilzik put no thought into what Sleepaway Camp fans might want to see, and just got high and lost track of everything after coming up with this weird plot that should have been more of a comical sub-plot. At some point, he should have realized this approach would kill the movie's chances of ever gaining a fanbase. But he just never did.