I've never really been much of a Werewolf fan. I've enjoyed an exclusive few over the years. An American Werewolf In London and Ginger Snaps is just about all I can come up with off the top of my head. At least as far the the more traditional stuff goes. But over the years, there have been some unusual, or just plain weird ones that have caught my eye. Movies like The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!, and the more recent Werewolf In A Women's Prison. Neither all that great, but odd enough to be enjoyable. Much like the film I want to talk about today. And that'd be Werewolves On Wheels from 1971. Not only the bottom of the Werewolf barrel, but the bottom of the biker flick barrel, as well. By the time this film came along, the biker genre was all but dried up, and needed extra shit thrown in to spice things up while the last few dollars were milked out of it. "Shit" meaning Werewolves in this case. And shitty werewolves they certainly were. Come to think of it, the bikers weren't much better.
"The Devil's Advocates" is what they called themselves. They'd like you to think they be some mean mothers, but in reality, they're merely a bunch of crude, obnoxious drug addicts who kid around with each other ALOT. But like any biker gang, there's power in numbers, so, they have no problem acting tough when necessary. Led by a ruffian named Adam, The Devil's Advocates ride across country, fancying themselves whatever the hell, raising all sorts of hell, but nothing too out of hand, from what I see. One of the members, a psychic/fortune teller type, insists some kind of danger hovers over the gang. The gang decides a nearby Satanic monastery is responsible. They also decide that going there is the best move. In one of many scenes which suggests nobody has any idea of what to do, the gang gets all rowdy with each other outside the monastery, and carried away with their rough housing, not noticing how fucked up it is that they've been surrounded by a bunch of Satanic monks.
At first, the monks seem ok, showering them all with wine and bread. One of the advocates suggests that all they need now is some dancers. The dancers never show up. And within seconds, The Devil's Advocates all pass out from the wine. Long enough for the monks to kidnap Adam's girlfriend and take her inside to be their sacrifice. Everyone comes to just in time to save her, but while doing so, a curse has been placed upon them. These guys aren't too bright, but bright enough to figure out that something bad just happened. Adam, the alleged brains of the outfit, decides they all need to head out to the desert to get their head straight. Good plan, I could certainly think of worse places to do so.
As they head out into the desert to hang out and horse around, very few of them are all that concerned any more. A lot of fuckin', drug taking and laughing with seemingly no point intended. However, a couple of them are torn to shreds by a werewolf on the first night. At least one, that is. The next morning, a funeral is had, once the bodies are discovered. With the usual beer and cocaine, of course. They all seem to get over the shock as they walk away. "We can't be goddamn women over these things", claims Adam. Wiser words were never spoken. As the boys have a fun filled day of stealing gas for their sweet rides, and picking on some ornery, old fat man, The Advocates head back to their new favorite hangout to turn over a car which was occupied by Adam and his bitch. Just for laughs, of course. A guy called Movie is torn to shreds that night, which makes the boys even more suspicious that something isn't right. That's three of them dead, now. There's definitely something wrong.Ok, if this film isn't at least 90% improvised, then, I just don't know what to think. As lazy and possibly non-existent as the script for this movie may be, a bit of realism often shines through the unbelievable mess that is this movie. I mean, it's believable that this is what a bunch of druggie bikers act like when they're out and about, raising hell and whatnot. Most of the movie seems aimless and pointless, and the kills aren't much. But the cheese factor is what Werewolves On Wheels really has going for it. I know. hard to believe, going by the title.
Anyone into 70's schlock would be wise to not overlook this Werewolf-Biker hybrid. The only real downside is that nothing was ever taken all that far. It's pretty tame on all levels, seemingly just for the sake of being tame. There's blood, nudity and profanity, but considering all the unrated/X-rated stuff that was coming out in this era, I expected a little more in those areas. I suspect someone who was financing this film might have been a big old prude. Although, this minor flaw shouldn't be a deal breaker. The fun and stupidity should be enough for a night's entertainment. So, say your "ooblah dooblahs", get high on whatever you can find in your leather jacket, and check out this Werewolf abomination which could only exist in the early 70's. 6/10
#Review