The Sleepaway Camp franchise is an unusual one. Some might even say an unnecessary one. And I might tend to agree. The first installment is an otherwise mediocre slasher from the early 80's which flaunts a mind blowing ending. One of the scariest as well as shocking endings in Horror history, in my opinion. And an ending which permanently put this film on the map. Some years later, Two sequels were made. Two very different sequels taken in a new direction by a new director, and starring a new actress in the lead role, as Angela. Practically a new character all together. Played by Bruce Springsteen's little sister, Pamela, Angela 2 was more of a wise cracking prude in these sequels who just went around killing people who annoyed her. Both these films lacked storylines for the most part, and came off more like shameless cash-ins, having almost nothing to do with the original. Both dissappointing if you're a huge fan of the original, but somewhat fun if you don't put too much thought into it.
Alot of people probably don't know it, but there was a part 4 in this series made in the early 90's. Almost, that is. An abondoned project with only a fraction of the intended scenes intact. They were released on dvd a few years ago mixed with scenes from the first three movies in order to pad it out and make it somewhat relevant to the series. It didn't work. In 2008, original director, Robert Hilzik, finally returned to make some sense of all this and once and for all give us the real sequel we've all been waiting for. It didn't work.
First of all, Return To Sleepaway Camp is a bad movie, and there's no getting away from that. It's absolutely mind blowing that THIS is what Hilzik finally came up with after 20 years to think it over whilst watching these pseudo-sequels tarnish the series. Return is universally hated, And for many good reasons. I could never fault anyone for seeing it as anything but a dissappointment. BUT I personally found it to be one of the funniest goddamn movies I've ever seen. But only because of one character. One very pointless, random character that seems to exist mainly to mess with the viewer's heads. No other explanation makes sense. Some might say this person is annoying. And he certainly is. But I very well might be the only person on the planet who sees Alan as a positive for this movie. Because, without him, there's not really anything left to say. Like it or not, Alan IS Return To Sleepaway Camp.
Alan is a ridiculous sack of fat shit with serious anger issues and an apparent fear of bathing, or changing clothes. A whiny spaz who allegedly has mental problems, and milks this for all it's worth to get sympathy. He gets picked on mercilessly by his peers to the point that you might feel sorry for him. But then he turns around and does the same to the smaller kids. And is a complete dick to the authority figures who could otherwise be on his side. But nobody cares about Alan's fat ass. And within the first minute of watching him in action, you can't really blame them. As unhappy as he is at camp Manabe, Alan is stuck here for the Summer. He seems to take great pleasure in tormenting those smaller than him, yet, one could easily picture him going on a killing spree once the tables are turned. That's what this movie mainly is. Just one teaser after the other. Is Alan insane or simply misunderstood? Does it even matter? No, it does not. We are treated to a few inventive murders between Alan's tantrums. So, there is a killer amongst all this stupidity, which doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything. It's painfully obvious who is doing this, but then we keep on going back to the fat kid. Insane or misunderstood? Again. Doesn't matter.Besides Alan, and the return of the original "you know who", Return To sleepaway Camp also has South Park's Isaac Hayes playing the role of "Chef", that Big Pussy guy from The Sopranos, the counselor with the short shorts from the original, and also, Angela's cousin, Ricky. If there was anyone in this movie to root for, I guess it would be those two. Although, they're nowhere near being significant characters. Oh, no! There's only one significant character in this movie. And he's got plenty of sand in his vagina. Alan goes back and forth between getting shat upon by everyone, to fucking with the little kids, to having an emotional breakdown, to taunting those who pick on himn, to telling the authority figures "your ass stinks". A phrase used about a dozen times in this movie. And God help me, it never gets old.
I'm sure most people find the Alan character a confusing one. And most likely, an infuriating one. Especially if you were hoping for a sequel where Felissa Rose is the main attraction. I'll admit, it does take alot of nerve to pull something like this after making fans wait decades for the real sequel. Like it or not, this one's it. But I think I get what Robert Hilzik was going for with this kid. Alan is a parody of the idea that the kid that gets picked on could one day snap and kill everybody. It's all just done in a completely outlandish manner. And while I think it was a great idea that was done very well, at times, Hilzik seemed to neglect every other aspect of the story. and the movie, as a whole, turned out pretty bad. At times, It seemed as though Hilzik put no thought into what Sleepaway Camp fans might want to see, and just got high and lost track of everything after coming up with this weird plot that should have been more of a comical sub-plot. At some point, he should have realized this approach would kill the movie's chances of ever gaining a fanbase. But he just never did.Unfortunately, not enough people got the joke (or thought it was funny) for there to be future sequels. I heard about a possible Sleepaway Camp Reunion for years after this came out. A finale, I asume. But I'd imagine funding isn't so easy to come by for Robert Hilzik, anymore, because I haven't heard a thing about this in forever. I guess that's all she wrote for Angela Baker. Thanks alot, Hilzik! You and your fat little asshole finally killed the franchise just when it was getting back on its feet. But I don't care what anyone says. I still like this movie. Hopefully, one more will happen one of these days. But I'm not holding my breath. Like it or not, Return To Sleepaway Camp IS currently the finale, and probably always will be. Who knows? Maybe future generations will get the joke, and be able to overlook the horrible mistake this movie actually is. 7/10
#Review #Slasher