#HouseOfTheDead
Part 1 (2003) & Part 2 (2005)

These movies aren't deserving of two posts. Based on a video game series, these two essential equate to Syfy channel movies, so you should already be asking yourself why they even exist.

The first is directed by Uwe Boll. Yikes. A group of college-age tools head to an island for a rave on a ship operated by Captain Kirk (Jurgen Prochnow) and his useless doomsayer shipmate Clint Howard. he doesn't want to take them there because he knows a lot of stupid shit is going to happen on that island, but money talks. When they get there, they're quick to notice that no other party-goers are there, but there are some zombies!

Once they realize they're in over their heads, Jordan Casper (Ellie Cornell) shows up to shoot some zombies and then a bunch of cliché things happen. Then, we get some mad scientist type of plot about an undead dude to seeks immortality and we get a lot of cheesy action. Cheesy in a bad Syfy channel way. At some point, this movie does end, and that's a good thing. There are a few hotties in the beginning though, but the movie basically gets worse and quite generic once the zombies get involved, which is sad.

Enter the second movie. It begins in a college with Ross Patterson trying to haze some pledges. Jennifer Holland from Peacemaker is there for a couple minutes, too, as is Theo Rossi, both in completely useless roles. Sid Haig appears for a couple minutes, too, doing some mad science on a female student before succumbing to the zombie infection himself. Ellie Cornell returns Jordan Casper for a cameo role, despite having died in the previous movie.

Once the outbreak begins, some military types head in to clean up the mess, and again, the movie gets worse once the zombies get involved. The future talent is reduced to useless roles, and the established talent is also wasted in insignificant roles. Get the big names in for 5 seconds, then subject your audience to some genuine horse shit.