What is the most notorious film ever made? It's an interesting question and one where quite a few candidates leap instantly to mind. It would have to be a film jam-packed full of the most debauched obscenities imaginable, yet well-known enough that your average Joe or Jane on the street had heard of it and knew the specifics of its content. That cuts out the more obscure sickfests like the August Underground series or the Vomit Gore trilogy. You can't achieve notoriety if noone's aware of your existence. Pink Flamingos is a possibility. A midnight-movie classic, with the Roger Ebert 0-star seal of disapproval ensuring that even casual movie-goers know about the fatass trannie who chows down on real dogshit. Or there's Cannibal Holocaust. Not many movies out there where the director was thrown in jail for making it. Then you've got your Human Centipedes and A Serbian Film, which have caused hordes of outraged do-gooders worldwide to vent their spleens in indignant fury over works of fiction they haven't even seen.
But what if there was a movie where the trailer alone was so vile that it caused en masse vomiting and mental scarring among those who watched it? So sick that it swept the world by storm and became a dare to actually watch it? So inhumanly repugnant that thousands upon thousands of people would film their disgust while watching it and post their reaction on the net for all to see? If a film could achieve that, purely from its fucking trailer, wouldn't that make it the most notorious film ever made??? Fortunately, that film has been made, by a Brazilian visionary named Marco Fiorito. It's called Hungry Bitches and its trailer is more commonly known as 2 Girls 1 Cup.
Most people's response to 2 Girls 1 Cup was instant aversion - a watch-once-then-try-to-forget-about-it reaction. I prefer to keep my mind wide open. I'm a masochistic sadist, a misogynistic feminist, a philosophical sophist and a cynical sentimentalist. I love people almost as much as I love misanthropy. My brain needs gutter insight like a fat guy needs a Big Mac. While others draw kneejerk conclusions that broads vomiting shit on each other is reprehensible filth, I seek further information. I ask questions. Questions like: Who are these bitches and why are they hungry? Why are they hungry for shit specifically? Couldn't they have just ordered pizza? If they're so hungry, then why do they puke the shit out? Isn't that counterproductive to defeating hunger? And why the fucking fuck are they shitting into a fucking cup? Do they not have plates in Brazil???
https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-n-aGGx2I_wM/V9QWL-ffMQI/AAAAAAAAAaY/yOM1mge6BksET4aDCoARGQa7iV2IzRiagCEw/s320/HungBitch3.pngSo, let's all find out some answers. Major spoilers ahead, but that's kind of the point. I watch revolting porn so you don't have to. If Jesus was alive today, you can bet your ass that he'd be carrying this heavy cross that I bear, reviewing shit porn on the internet for all you sinners. But that beardy cunt's dead and he's staying dead, so you'll have to make do with lil ol' me...
Okay, we start out with a CGI credit sequence of really rubbish-looking soaring shots of CG houses and fields and birds. I have no idea what any of it has to do with 2 girls munching on each others ass-candy, but then I don't have a shit fetish. Maybe crappy CGI is like foreplay to these people. Who knows? Confusion aside, I found it rather interesting that even 3rd world shitporn looks more professional than Birdemic.
The titular 2 girls, a blonde and a brunette, say some stuff to each other and start making out. I don't speak Spanish, but it was probably like "Oh mammasita! Me wanta your kaka!" [/racism] At this point, it's basically like normal lesbo porn. If myself and indeed the entire internet-going world hadn't already seen the taking-a-squirty-dump-into-a-cup spoiler, then it would probably have come as quite a surprise. Not to mention a disappointment. Good thing the trailer has already assured us that there's funtimes ahead... Like... The cup crap... It happens. You don't need me to describe that coz you've all already seen it. The glorious vision of gushing brown matter is no doubt emblazoned upon your psyche, always ready to appear in your mind's eye during the most frantic, furious and sweetly shameful moments of masturbatory mayhem; the kind of epic self-pleasure session that leaves you with aching bicep and weeping skinless genitalia almost as damaged as your self-esteem. We've all been there.Our ladies appraise the cup fulla shit. Sniff it for a while. One of them pisses on it for extra flavour. They take appetisers and smoosh it around in their mouths, squeezing it out between their teeth. All fairly typical scat porn behaviour, no different to what you've already seen in ye olde classics like Gusomilk and Squirmfest and Walking Toilet Bowl and The Brown Bomber and MASD-004: Scat Compulsion. The 2 girls vomit all over the shit cup and indeed over each other, spitting and dribbling shitty mucus everywhere, for a considerable period of time. I can't help but feel that the movie's title is false advertising. These bitches aren't hungry, they're practically fuckin' bulimic! Don't get me wrong, it's still all highly enticing and romantic - a bit like Blue is the Warmest Color, only with a lot more shitpuke - but if I'd actually paid to see this, I'd question the level of hunger that these bitches are feeling...
So then, the blonde shits into a bowl. We've moved past the trailer now into exciting new territory. Oh yeah. Deliverin' some fresh kitchen-based vessels to pour bowelfuls of butt chocolate into. The glory of cinematic invention in full-force, folks. I'm so glad this was left out of the trailer, because 2 Girls 2 Receptacles just doesn't quite have the same ring to it. And as if the Godardesque ingenuity couldn't go any further, one of the girls then gargles puke. I ain't never seen that before and I've seen a lot. I almost wish I'd popped a boner at that, just to say I had. But sadly twas not to be. My dick only got hard in the moments where the girls took breaks from the scatfest to passionately kiss each other, futilely attempting to give the impression that they're relatively normal women, rather than revolting shitwhores.I'd hoped it was building to a grand finale. Some kind of new container to munch a dump out of, like a ladle or a picnic hamper or a funeral urn or a baby bottle. Instead, cup and bowl are pushed aside and they eat from each others buttholes, right from the source. Which is not all that special really. I mean, that's kind of the "normal" way of eating shit. The cup and bowl were the novelty element that kept this thing alive. But wait, there's more! They combine the contents of bowl and cup, scoop up some vomit and piss from the floor and throw that into the mix, stir it up real nice and scarf it down! That's our money shot. BOOM, a fat load of wrongness blasted over every viewer's face. Lap it up like the slut you are. You know you wanted this.
So, when all's said and done, perhaps the most noteworthy thing that needs pointing out is that all the poop seen here is fake. It's chocolate mousse. This has been confirmed by the director, but really, anyone with experience in shitporn viewing will be able to tell the difference. And I think there's a fairly valid rationale behind this decision. The director, Marco Fiorito, describes himself as a compulsive fetishist, but what we have here is more the idea - the fantasy - of the shit fetish. The 2 girls shown are both quite pretty, they're bubbly and they seem to be enjoying the somewhat sexy funtimes. The reality of the shit fetish is that the people involved are broken beyond belief. I'm not just being judgmental here. If someone is into spitting or choking or watersports, those can all be a fun kink that one can indulge in without unhealthy motive or impact on one's life outside of the bedroom. But shit?? That's a big brown signpost that spells damage. There's a reason why Japanese scat performers can often be seen bursting into tears on camera. And to genuinely enjoy real shitporn, where the self-loathing and psychological trauma practically leaps off the screen, requires a hefty dose of sadist in your soul. The use of chocolate mousse simply suggests to me that this Fiorito fella wanted to keep all the defecation-devouring delights to be saucy and light-hearted. Helluva guy. I'd buy him a beer anyday... or maybe a Baileys and lemon juice.
At odds with this theory of mine is the level of vomit involved, which is very real and very degrading, but that could be just a Brazil thing. Another modern Brazilian classick, Human Snot Tissue, was the same - a sexy startlet havin' bucketloads of mucal matter sneezed all over her pretty noggin, only to then be unnecessarily coated in puke. What's up with that? What if I'm selective with my fetish? What if I'm all into Brazilian babes chowin' down on poop, but the mere sight of vomit makes me go "Ewww, gross!"?? (Fortunately I'm into neither. I'm just here for the lulz.) It all seems a little nasty and unpleasant to me. Someday I hope we all live in a nicer world. A world that's fair and just. A world where shit-eating Brazilian porno whores can finish a hard day's work without having to wash barf off their cleavage before the bus ride home. If John Lennon was alive today, I feel certain he'd re-record Imagine to include a new verse addressing this injustice. Yeah.Okay, I should wrap this up now. Got a bit carried away. I'll finish with somethin' a little educational, just so you didn't entirely waste your time reading all this nonsense...
Whilst the notoriety of 2 Girls 1 Cup, and by extension Hungry Bitches, once seemed like a fresh phenomenon, the movie is really just continuing a grand tradition of filth. 1985 was perhaps the watershed year for extreme Brazilian porn; a glorious time and place of beautiful disgrace from which so much cinematic sin and vice would later fountain like a Peter North cumshot. There were perhaps 2 seminal films in that year that exemplify the subsubgenre. Firstly, you have Jose Mojica Marins' 24 Hours of Explicit Sex, responsible for Brazil's first ever bestiality porno scene. Quality filth indeed, but the movie itself is a comedy and even the dog-on-woman action is laugh-out-loud funny. Well, I laughed anyway... At the other end of the spectrum, you've got In The Heat Of The Holes; a virulent slab of genuine psychopathy made by a smut merchant, sick fuck and possible actual murderer who went by the nom-de-plume of Sady Baby. Sady didn't so much smash taboos as rape them into oblivion, casting real-life junkies, street whores and homeless bums, infusing his flicks with a palpable misanthropy that's rarely been seen in film since, porno or otherwise.
Hungry Bitches certainly has a touch of Sady's legitimate will to offend, but ultimately it falls under the former, more cheerful school of obscenity. Obviously, if the 60 second trailer made you lose your lunch, then it's not recommended. But for the brave few, this is a jam-packed anusload of fake fecal funtimes. Watch it with someone you love... or at least someone you wanna poop on.
#Fitspo #Hashtag #Porn #Qualitybraziliancine #Shiteating #Truelove
Bat Pussy begins seemingly in the middle of the movie, during an arguement between an ugly, and most likely drunk middle aged married couple. It's not entirely clear what they were babbling about due to sound issues and mumbling. But out of the blue, they take it to the bed and the ugly wife starts sucking the ugly husband's ugly, limp dick, which will remain limp for the entire duration of the film. Is he impotent? Was he THAT turned off by his 50 year old co-star ? Has he had too much to drink? Nobody knows. That's what I love about these types of movies. Nobody knows. But this is sort of a porno, so, he plays along and pretends to be hard, repeatedly uttering the phrase "Oh, God! That's what the picture in the magazine was!". I'm not entirely sure what he meant by that, but I'm pretty sure a crew member just burped.
These two go back and forth between berating eachother, kidding around and making sad attempts at getting each other off with their mouths, whilst spouting improvised horshsht like "Every time I ram my tongue up your pussy, it comes out your asshole! Now, what the fkn deal is that?". Meanwhile, a new character is added into the mix. Bat Pussy's super senses informs her about the shitty, old married couple trying to get it on, and she disapproves. "Nobody fucks around on Bat Pussy", she says, and she soon crashes their party, and almost immediately ends up in a head giving threesome, which I guess is suppoed to be the big payoff. so, we do get a dash of hotness near the end. Yet, that idiot's still as limp as ever. So, nobody ever actually gets fucked.
Most of the badness and pointless WTFness comes from the insanely stupid dialogue blurted out by ugly, drunk trash with unfortunate genitalia, and what may or may not be attempts at humor. And it seems like they're trying to throw in a story here and there, but they never really commit. And I can't really blame them. After all, this IS a retarded porno with one limp dick, a bickering married couple, a jealous Bat Woman ripoff, no script, and no plan. And no redeeming qualities. Highly recommended! 2/10
I'm not a huge fan of porn of any kind, but intrigued by all that is extreme and/or fucked up. But this shit is officially too much. So, Jamie Gillis (of Water Power fame) has put out a number scat fetish porno flicks which seem to put an emphasis on the degredation of women. This particular woman was given the luxury of having a drink before enduring the atrocities which lie before her. And I can say with all honesty that she needed it. The look on Carol's face from the very beginning is proof of that.
And finally, Mr. Gillis takes a big fat shit all over Carol's chest. which is actually when this shit finally starts getting good. She lays on the floor, crying while he stands over her and masturbates, ordering her to do stuff with his shit. Such as rub it all over herself, On her crotch, in her vagina, and yes. In her mouth. She actually managed to suck down a turd or two. As miserable as this poor woman seemed, there is a point where she apparently snaps and starts laughing hysterically at what was going on. The laughter would not last, however.
Hard to tell what's going on, right? That's from a gay porn loop that's come to be known as The Anal Birth of Bert. Porn loops were short movies, usually recorded on 8mm cameras without sound, that would be played in adult theatres and jerkoff booths. When home video came around, and porno quantitatively exploded like a volcano of babysnot from Peter North's dickhole, the old-school porn loops only survived the transition by a few crafty entrepeneurs taping them by pointing their cameras at the screen. Let's face it, noone was gonna put forth the cash to give these dirty stag shorts a nice crisp remaster. In a sense, VHS copies of 8mm porn loops are like the birth of cam rips. Although this process allowed such pornographic goodies to remain existent, it left them somewhat incomprehensible, as seen in the above pic.
It's been admitted that Bert and Ernie are a gay couple, but more specifically and what's gone unacknowledged by the Henson company, is that they have a sub-dom relationship. The Anal Birth of Bert gives us some background information and enriches their characters. The homosexual "mother" of Bert is a submissive. I don't know this for certain, but I'm making an educated guess, because anyone who takes a fist in their ass and it's still not enough is usually a sub. Common sense, really. Hence, Bert grows up calling the shots in the household and develops into a natural dom. He'd give the orders, stamp his feet and always end up getting his own way, which is why he's so bossy to Ernie. And Ernie always putting up with grumpy-bum Bert suggests that he's clearly a sub, just like Bert's dad. See, there's even Freudian shit in there.
