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Vigilante Man * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Captain America II: Death Too Soon

Cap's back! And this time his helmet has wings!

This 1979 TV movie sequel reteams Reb Brown's Cap with Len Birman's Dr Mills, as they fight muggers and international terrorists.

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After some foreshadowing shots of lots of people throwing frisbees at the beach, we see artist Steve Rogers painting portraits for the elderly. It turns out that these codgers (it should be pointed out here that if the writers had kept the orginal Cap origin there would be some poiniancy to this scene, as the old dear in question would have been a contemporary of Frozen!Cap, and most likely a veteran of the WWII years - if not a veteran herself) are being robbed of their benefits (or whatever the Yanks have) by some fiendish, dune-buggy riding hoodlums.

Cap swiftly, and rather pathetically dispatches of them with is frisbee shield, and a hilariously sped up beach chase, and makes sure that these crooks won't mess with the incontinent any more.

Matters then turn more serious, as Cap must stop the infamous international terrorist, Miguel (a seriously slumming Christopher Lee, who give his usual gravitas to the proceedings), from his fiendish plot to make people age quickly, while sending some rednecks to beat up any questions in the hick town he's based himself in.

Can Cap stop the evizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Wha...? Man that shit was boring, I must have fallen asleep!

Ok, so was it good? No.
Was it entertainingly bad? No.
Was it good Cap? No.

On the plus side, the cracking score is unchanged, and Cap get's to ride his jumping bike some more.

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He even gets to break into prison!

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So, in movie terms, Cap took a hiatus until 1990, and that's where I'll be heading next. In the meantime, here's Reb himself reminiscing on his Marvel days.

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#Comic #SuperHero
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Vigilante Man 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Captain America

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Our hero...

Pop quiz no 1 β€” What do you know about Captain America?

Well, of course you know the basics.

In 1941, as US involvement in WWII seems inevitable, weakling Steve Rogers wants to enlist in the US Army to help fight the Nazis. His is quickly rejected, but his bravery and determination will not be undone, so he volunteers to take an experimental super soldier serum, which gives him increased strength, stamina, and resilience.

The rest, as they say, is history.

The blonde of hair, blue of eye (the very Jewish Kirby and Simon's obvious take that to the Aryan ideal), winged of helm, and square of jaw, America's bravest son kicked Adolf's ass, with his shining shield and fierce right hook.
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Take that, Kraut!

Frozen in the Arctic wastes after a plane crash during the war, he was awoken in the swinging sixties, into a new era. An era of Gods, mutants, monsters, and hippies. He's Avenged, Defended, rebelled, re-joined, died and resurrected, and always stood up for the ideal of the American way...

Pop quiz no 2 β€” How much of this iconic origin is contained in Rod Holcomb's 1979 made for TV Captain America?

To be perfectly honest, sweet fuck all.

Oh, he is called Steve Rogers, and he does become Captain America, and he does have a shield, but apart from that...

Captain America Take 2:
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Yay!

Ex-marine, Steve Rogers, is making the most of his peace time, by cruising down the West Coast in his blue dodge van, crashing with old buddies, and making what living he can as a piss-poor artist. Unbeknownst to this gentle giant, he is being watched by nefarious agents, and government scientist Simon Mills is desperate to contact him.

When an old friend of his late father's is murdered, Steve is reluctantly drawn into a web of conspiracy, involving his father's work β€” the ultimate steroid compound known as FLAG, and somehow a neutron bomb (I have to confess, I'm not completely sure how the bomb got in there, but it appeared to be important at the end...). A murder attempt and emergency surgery later (shades of the Six Million Dollar Man, here) see Steve pumped full of FLAG to save his life, and eventually with his taking up the mantle of Captain America and beating the bad guys.

Now for the important stuff. Is it a good movie?

No, not really. I mean, I loved it, but then, I'm strange that way.

The plot is thin, and glacial in pace (in fairness, this was an intended series pilot, riding the tails of The Incredible Hulk, rather than a stand-alone movie), there isn't an awful lot of Cap action, and he doesn't even get his proper costume until the very end.

But, on the plus side it has Reb Brown as the main man, and a wonderfully serious Len Birman as Rogers' mentor Simon Mills. It has an uplifting, funky '˜70s score,
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More yay!

dumb mooks, a cheap plastic shield, and a motorbike that jumps. What more could you ask for?

Well, I could ask for Captain America, I suppose. So, how does this fare as a Captain America movie?

Sadly, not so well. For a start he only appears in costume for the last 20 minutes of a 97 minute runtime.

And, though Reb Brown certainly looks the part of a post-super-soldier-serum Cap, this Steve Rogers is a whiny bitch, who wants nothing more to bum around the Coast, not caring what day of the week it is, and painting his dismal paintings. He refuses to help until backed into a corner from which he cannot say '˜No.' He doesn't want to be involved, no matter what the stakes, and only the constant pushing from Mills to make him take a stand.

He moans about Mills saving his life, moans about doing any more service for his country, moans about his friend's murder (which is fair enough, I suppose...), and nearly murders a human bomb with carbon monoxide poisoning. Not very Cap-like behaviour at all, if you ask me.

As well as the character flaws, the iconic Captain America origin is gone, replaced by this tosh. All in all, a pretty pitiful attempt.

Let's see if they can do any better in Captain America II: Death Too Soon, starring Reb and Len, and a very surprising guest star...

#Comic #SuperHero
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Vigilante Man * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
Welcome!

Here we can talk all things comics. I originally intended this zone just to be for comicbook movies, but why? There are so many trashy and epicy comics and graphic novels - and creators! - that it seemed far too narrow in scope to just make it be about the movies.

To start us off, though, here's a little introduction...

When I was younger, probably about seven or eightβ€’, a chance encounter at the local newsagents led me to a near 30-year (off & on) love affair with comic books. It was on that fateful day (most likely a Saturday afternoon), that I bought (with my well earned 50p β€” for such I guess the thing cost) The Incredible Hulk 297.

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Now, I knew all about the Hulk β€” as a boy that knowledge just seemed to be inherently in my psychological makeup (alongside the ability to make cool machine-gun noises, turn an innocent stick into any number of melee and projectile weapons, and the certainty that ninjas were in fact the best possible career option for a growing lad, and that Optimus Prime was the fucking manβ€’β€’!)

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Goddammit Hot Rod, you Judd Nelson sounding asshole! Sorry guys, but some scars never heal...

But I was never a huge fan β€” being more of a Star Warser, Transformerser, G.I. Joer (though they were known as the multi-national Action Force in the UK), and He-Manner. Action Figures (they were not dolls, goddamit!) being more my bag than comics. Hmmm, I digress...

Anyway, I bought the aforementioned comic, and read it. And re-read it. Re-re-read it, re-re-re-read it, and then read it again. It blew my mind. As an aside, if you ever get the chance to read it, go ahead. It's a mind fuck par excellence when taken completely out of context of the longer story line, particularly when I had no knowledge of S.H.I.E.L.D. or Gabe Jones, or Dr Strange. It was set in what appeared to be a post-apocalyptic waste-land (where the not-so-jolly green giant was the cause of said end of times), and in a moment of post-rage fatigue, the Hulkster has what can only be described as a fucking disturbingly surreal dream sequenceβ€’β€’β€’.

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Where is this all going? I hear you ask. You are asking that, aren't you? Jono waits impatiently for nods and other signs of agreement.

Well, it'll be going to movies a little bit later, but I'm holding forth, right now.

To sum up the rest of the back-story. I was bitten, not by a radioactive spider, but by the comic-book bug. I was hooked, and through the rest of the '˜80s to the mid '˜90s I could be found, like as not, down the local comic book shop (of which there was precisely...one, in Newcastleβ€’β€’β€’β€’). Sometime around 1996, probably, I got sick of the business β€” the new stories were mostly crap, the art was crap, there was more interest in the merchandising (Dolls? Who wanted dolls? Why would anyone collect dolls?), and collectible die-cut-holographic-luminous-gatefold-glow-in-the-dark-poly-bagged-collectors' edition first issues (printed in their millions so as to remain worthless). I still re-read the old classics that I'd acquired, but the new stuff β€” pahβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’!

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Then, about ten years later, I downloaded a whole swag of comics that I used to own (only a select few made the migration with me), and it re-kindled some of the love. And some of the newer stories caught my attention, and I've retained more than a passing interest ever since. I love finding out what my old favourites are up to now β€” even when they've taken a ticket to Dorkville β€” and here Wikipedia and TVTropes are very much my friends, as I can pick and choose which stories I actually consider wasting my time on.

Anyway, on to the movies.

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Cimenatic, ain't it!

Comics and sequential art are inherently visual media, and the comic book experience can often be very cinematic in scope, so it seems logical that so many characters would make that brave leap from the panel to the silver screen. That so many have tried, and been found wanting is, perhaps, more surprising. With a few notable exceptions, it has only been in the last decade or so that comic book adaptations have really gripped the imaginations of the wider public.

Why is that? Maybe it's the advances of technology that allow us to see more '˜believable' CGI characters β€” let's face it, a comicbook-like Hulk would be nigh impossible to achieve without it.

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Or maybe it's the fact that the studios have hired the right (or at least better...) people for the job β€” A-list actors, A-list directors, and screenwriters who seem to have the ability to create sympathetic characters, and tell a compelling story.

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Maybe it's because the '˜big two' have decided to take creative control of their properties β€” and are tying them together in the shared universes that we know and love. From this perspective, at least, deals involving Warner Bros and Disney don't look too shabby...

Of course, it's a combination of those factors (and many more besides), and of course, it's not as simple as saying back then they were rubbish, and now they're gold. There have been stinkers and gems across all the decades of comic book movies. Also, not all comic books and comic book movies are based on Marvel or DC characters, they're not all about superheroes, and they're not all American. But, I think it's fair to say that The Dark Knight Trilogy and the Avengers Phase I & II movies have moved comic book movies into a recognisable, and very popularβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’ genre of cinema right now.

So what's the purpose of this post? I hear you ask. No? Well, I'm a tell you anyway, biatches!

I am going to read comics and watch some comic book movies. Not all β€” there's far too many for li'l ol' me to watch, and far too many that I have no intention of seeing (Kick-Ass and Wanted I'm looking at youβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’), and I shall share my thought with the Trash Epics group. Hopefully, you will share your thoughts on any that you've seen/read, and between us we'll examine the latest cinematic cause celebre. And maybe, just maybe, save the world from certain destruction (possibly involving big lasers) and the machinations of a diabolical super villain. Or, you know, watch a bunch of movies. Whatevs.

One of the things I'm keen to investigate in my musings is, not just to see if the films are good or enjoyable, but specifically to see if they are good adaptations of the source. Now that doesn't necessarily mean slavishly reproducing the printed page on screen, but do they feel true to the characters. If there's one thing that bugs me about criticism of comic book movies it's the cry of pedantic fans who can't bear the fact that Captain America's boots don't fold over at the top (though some pedantry is justified β€” Judge Dredd's helmet should not come off! How could anybody get that so wrong?)

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Just try it again, perp!

I prefer to look on them as one of the many '˜alternate realities' that the books themselves love to show β€” an Elseworlds version, if you will.

Anyway, that's all for now. Hopefully you will be able to join me on this Journeyβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’.

First up β€” Captain America (1979), starring Reb Brown (Saluting Trash Legend post for this man coming soon!), and nobody else, whatsoever.

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Excelsior!



*β€’my internet detective skills show me that it would have been about a month before my 7th birthday)
β€’β€’man in this context meaning truck-robot with lasers
β€’β€’β€’I've since tracked down the preceding and subsequent issues, and, tbh, it's a fun story, but it never lived up to the old 297 magic...
β€’β€’β€’β€’I should probably add, at this point, that comic books in the UK were very much considered for kids β€” a la Dandy or Beano β€” and anyone over the age of about seven who read them was clearly a freak of the highest order. Compare that to today, where you can't move without tripping over Superman, or the Avengers. And suddenly my Spiderman pyjamas aren't so tragic now, are they Colin Bagleyβ€’β€’β€’β€’β€’?
β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’This didn't happen...
β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’Of course, there was actually some really awesome stuff coming out those days β€” mostly from smaller presses and independents, but I didn't really get those back then. I'm much prefer this stuff to the heroes now, though.
β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’$$$$$ kerching $$$$$
β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’Nothing by Mark Millar. He is a cock of the highest order, and a terrible writer.
β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’β€’Into Mystery!*
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#Comic
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one of those plonkers * 🌐 ⚠️ NSFW
What's the deal with all these Trash Zones?

We've all come to this site and gotten bored with it, because of how aimlessly vague it is. Well not anymore, because now, we have purpose. Now, we have Trash Zones https://trashepics.com/sub/.

A lot of users had been interested in having their own corner of this website to specialize in a unique theme. I finally got crackin' and worked those in here. I've given them database support, which means they can be easily edited to suit your needs. I try to automate everything worthwhile on this site. The less I have to do to maintain it, the better. I'm a lazy man, so anyone running a zone will help me keep this site active.



Here's a bit of info on the recent influx of garbage zone-age:

The Ren Zone - Well, since I'm @Renzo, and I can't let everyone else have all the fun... I have a zone of my own. I'll just put boring news articles like this one in it. Posts are not exclusive to a single zone, and may appear in any number of zones. It all depends on the zone's criteria for what posts it should list. My zone just looks for posts tagged as #/httr/, so I just tag a post as #/httr/ and it will show up in my listing. Other than that, my zone is pretty useless.

The Halloween Zone - It used to be just about the film franchise, but god damnit... I like Halloween too much to limit it to a single mediocre horror series! Now, this zone will show ALL public posts that are posted under media titles that are tagged as #halloween. There are a lot of good Halloween titles out there, like Dark Night of the Scarecrow, Night of the Demons, Donnie Darko, House of 1000 Corpses, etc. It will also have a live countdown to next Halloween. I wish I could think of better gimmicks for it...

Obviously, @Tromafreak needed to run the Troma Zone. He's posting some good shit there, and it adding these shitty movies to our database of trashy movies, and it's wonderful. He reviews movies mostly. Since a bulk of Troma's movies are available for free on youtube, I advise he sets the featured youtube video to a different Troma movie every so often. This zone will show ALL public posts that are posted under media titles that are tagged as #troma.

Our slasher aficionado @slasherfan85 wanted a Slasher Zone, and I say hellz yeah. We all need a little more slashers in our diet, and as uninspired as it may be at times, it's still one of my favorite horror sub-genres. This zone will show ALL public posts that are posted under media titles tagged as #slasher.

When @AlcoholicNinja wanted to jump on the zone bandwagon, he got hard just thinking about the possibilities of what he could do with a Porno Zone. This is Trash Epics, right? This zone will show ALL public posts that are tagged as #porn. πŸ˜„

The Ball Zone is operated by @Ballz. Who would've figured? What many of you probably don't know (since he rarely graces us with his presence) is that he is putting all of his efforts into a novel he plans on selling. Since Ballz is my hangsta numba uno, I'm giving him a zone where he doesn't have to abide by any specific guidelines, but I figure it would be a good place for him to sell his novel. This zone will only show Ballz's public posts.

@Moffat wanted to talk about comics, so he has a zone... but he ain't doing anything with it yet. I don't know what posts to list, so right now, it just shows posts that posted under media titles tagged as #comic. At least I think he wanted the zone to be about comic movies...

And our sweet @Shaza wants to talk about foul, evil, dirty, dark, and depraved films in the Extreme Zone. Yeah, she looks nice, but she's into some sick shit. We need that on Trash Epics, because we need to cover all the basics of what good trash is all about. For now, this zone will show ALL public posts tagged as #extreme. Later on, when/if we get enough fitting titles in our media database, I may change it to show all posts that are posted under media tagged as #extreme. I don't know! @Shaza, you can add media titles to the database. Utilize this so you can update your featured media accordingly. The same goes for wiki pages.



And that's it so far. It'll be easy as hell to add more zones, should anyone come up with a legit idea. Now with these zones, I'm hoping the moderators of them will have fun with it, and try to come up with regular content for these zones. Have a weekly poll. Have a weekly movie that you recommend that everyone on the site see. And put the trailer as your featured video. Post lists about this stuff. Post achievements that are relevant to your cause. They can be for winning some kind of contest or game you might hold on your zone. Get creative. Because I'm even allowing you to style these zones with pure css, and script in pure javascript. Of course, I know you guys don't know fuck all about that, but it gives me good practice should we decide to work in some gimmicks into your zone.

#comic #extreme #extreme #halloween #porn #slasher #troma
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