James Howlett... aka Logan... aka Wolverine

The X-Men series is a bit of a mess, honestly. The timeline doesn't make sense, not only because we did some time-traveling, but also because of lazy writing.

Here is my attempt at the series, chronologically speaking:
https://junkepics.com/calendar/timeline/?category=x-men (always changing...)

Some of the movies are turds. The original trilogy, for one, is kind of stupid, but goddamnit... Hugh Jackman is the man! After the third film left him nowhere to go, they made a shitty prequel that ruined a LOT of characters, and threw off the timeline of everything to buttfuckeryville. They also butchered Deadpool, but that's a whole different ballpark.

20th Century Fox shrugged, and made another prequel. One to start a new trilogy of X-Men films. Also... two more Wolverine movies! So that's a trilogy of X-trilogies! Original, Wolverine, and New... which is ironically set in the past. See? This shit is confusing. However, through shit and more shit, Hugh Jackman was always bad-ass. After 17 years, he's getting a little tired, but he's going out with a bang.

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Set in the bleak deserts of 2029, every mutant is dead except for him... and Professor X. That's right, they're all fucking DEAD. How old has that professor fuck got to be at that point? Think around 90 to 100-ish. Patrick Stewart is always great, and he plays a dying old man with dementia. The world's most powerful telepath now reduced to a senile old man. He plays it brilliantly, of course. He IS Patrick Stewart.

Then, we have the Jackman. I mean, we have Logan. Yeah, that's right. So James Howlett... I mean Hugh Jackman... comes into the picture. He's old, lonely, bitter, and most importantly... he's dying. Yes, even the Wolverine can die, but you don't want to know that here.

The big thing this movie has going for it is the freedom to go all out. Inspired by Deadpool's half a billion dollar box office intake, they said fuck it again, and let it ride. Also, they actually do say "fuck" a lot. They made Logan R-rated, and they made it bleak, dark, and gritty. The body count is huge. People get stabbed and sliced and shot and burned and stabbed and sliced, etc, etc...

This movie is depressing, because if this exists, then we know all our heroes from previous movies have died. Days of Future Past from 2014 was partially set in a post-apocalyptic future where things seemed hopeless, but we still had enough X-Men to fix things. Now, this isn't the case. There's nothing, and nowhere to go for these hopeless, lost characters. It makes you think.


20th Century Fox's Marvel movies have mostly been shit, but they're turning it around. They're making hardcore, brutal shit. Disney's Marvel is playing it safe. They play it safe with everything, and those movies have become formulaic. Entertaining, but kinda generic nonetheless. Fuck those clowns.

If you want a dirty road movie where people get fucked up... Watch this movie.

#NoSpoilers